Coming out further

I have been dressing for years. Aside from my wife no one knows that I dress or that I identify as transgender. We recently moved to a much larger metropolitan area and I have been using the anonymity to express myself more openly. In my home area I would go to Sephora only when fully dressed. Last week I just slipped on a pair of jean leggings and a tight shirt and visited a nearby store. It felt so good to finally walk in without hesitation or looking to make sure I knew no one. What a wonderful experience. I'm taking it slowly and probably will still not come out to the people that we eventually meet and become friends with. My wife is still a bit uncomfortable with that; and I respect those boundaries. I have a doctors appointment next week and I listed myself as non binary. After many years of hiding my true self I feel more comfortable. Would I like to come out fully? Yes. But i'm realistic enough to know the limitations and how lucky I am to be able to come out as far as I have.

Sounds like your gonna do it whether your wife likes it or not, good luck.

Hi Angela :hugs:, You are out there Now and there is no turning back,

Other than to a wife or trusted friend or family member, I don't think you can "come out further". Once others know, you are "out". Fully "out". And there's no turning back.

"My wife is still a bit uncomfortable with that and I respect those boundaries."

I have always looked at my desire to express myself in the lens of a shared secret that is revealed leads to share consequences.

May all your dreams come true, Nancy

I'm in a somewhat similar situation Angela. The difference is we lived parttime in this area for 4 years before moving permanently a year ago. In those 4 years we have made enough friends that there's no way I'll dress in our town such that anyone would know. But, I only have to travel 30 miles north and/or 60 miles south to be where it's more than a million to one odds of anyone knowing me. I've only done so on a couple of occasions; but, hope to be doing so on a once or twice per month schedule.

Angela, As long as you keep your wife happy, you do you.

Hi Angela, I relate to the anonymity in a new place, all the best to you being you

It's been 40 years since I had such anonymity and it was freaking awesome!! Funny thing, though. Some of those that I was anonymous to then and still around. I don't think the term "coming out" had been coined then. I thought I was living the way I'd live the rest of my life. Ummm, not quite. Real adulthood happened. I'd kind of like to try it again! Color me green with envy!