To me it's option 5
5. A partner that doesn't accept, tolerate then insults, manipulates emotionally and takes actions against me (including violence) .
Sometimes some of us are a bit too nitpicky, but the options you said are actually really tame and descriptions of acceptable partners, a bit of the opposite of what I described.
Number four would be great. We can all dream, can't we? Reality for me is even less than number one. My wife knows but has not said 'boo' about my desire to wear women's clothing. It's the ostrich putting its head in the ground. Out of sight, out of mind. I think 'tolerant' needs to have some discourse. No?
While my marriage is #3, a number #4 would be great.
Maya,
I have in the dim and distant past had relationships with GGs in 4 . I would be lovely to find one now who still fits that bill .
I'm not giving up on it because I know there are women who are OK with Cders .
At the moment I'm just getting over the level mentioned by Leslie .
I wear womens shorts and shirts all the time except at work, so she would have to be accepting of me being a light cd or we won't have a relationship
my wife is tolerant and comes to support group events with me, but wishes i didn't have the need to wear women's clothes
Like Angie, Trish and Jaime my wife and I are at a 3 level.
Had to cope in the distant past with a #1 gf that suddendly became a #5 hurricane, must aim at #4 now.
My tastes for feminine items developed after decades of marriage and was not particularly well received. So, I've gone through a horror phase, followed by several phases of degrees of tolerance. She's now mostly accepting which means I dress more than she likes and less than i would like. But, she's very loving even when i'm wearing a dress around the house.
My ideal would be for her to come home from clothes shopping for herself with something 'cute' that SHE'D like to see on me. A person can dream...
EDIT: We shop together often and SHE was the one who picked the first dress bought for me.
2 would be my minimum, but luckily I have a 3 and that's just fine with me.
#3 1st or #2 for me would do. #4 takes me to a scary place as my first wife was a dom.
#Asexual would be my number!
Stacy
My current relationship is #3 with an asterisk. Now that I accept this side of me, a #3 or #4 would be great. I don't think a #2 would be enough anymore.
I didn't really answer the original question. In my case the acceptance started with a "south of 1" situation, but I have pretty much forced a limited amount of 'acceptance' on her. Her reluctant tolerance has softened to level of acceptance. Currently, I'd say our status would be on the order of a #3.
It's not that I haven't given her a choice, but the choice wasn't whether I dressed, but how she'd respond. I've tempered my style to give her some room and I reveal an occasional small surprise occasionally. I'd love for her to decide that she found my style sexy or even aesthetically pleasing, but that's totally out of my control.
Currently not on the scale as no one knows but the cat. If I could swap the current situation for #2 I'd be well chuffed :) Without acceptance I think I'd find it difficult to feel the same the peace and contentment.