Feeling Very Alone in the World

I have found myself in a very hard place. Please bear with me a little, as the story is a long one. Last spring, I started taking a men's weight training course at my university. Naturally, I used the men's locker to change and shower. I liked the course so much that I took it again this fall. Halfway through the semester, the university told me that I could no longer use the locker room and that I could use a tiny coach's locker room if I didn't want to use the women's room.

I agreed to this temporarily, giving them time to find a reason why they could do that. They couldn't find one. Meanwhile, I discovered that this was in violation of federal, state, and local anti-discrimination laws. . . and the University's own anti-discrimination policy. When I informed them of this, they basically said that they didn't care. That adds official oppression to their discrimination.

They did tell me that if I could get my University records changed, I could use the men's locker again. So I talked to the registrar and they told me they wouldn't do it without a birth certificate. To get an amended birth certificate in my state requires an SRS letter. Obviously, not a workable solution. University policy allows the registrar to reject requests for record change if it believes the records are "correct". So. . . they believe they have the right to determine what my "correct" gender is.

Fed up this this, I told them I would be returning to the men's locker room. I did so:

Week one: nothing. No acknowledgement of my actions at all.
Week two: nothing. I get a letter to the editor published in the school paper about it.
Week three: The paper publishes a damning feature article about it, quoting correspondence with the university in which I called their actions criminal and trans advocates, saying that what they did was wrong. The very day the article is published, the university sends security to forbid me from using the locker again and inform me of disciplinary proceedings and criminal charges filed against me. This adds retaliation to their list of crimes. The people involved are quickly working their way from misdemeanor with minor penalty to felony with serious jail time.

While some students are resolutely behind me, most, even the ones who have every reason to be on my side, are ambivalent or openly antagonistic.

When I go to change next week, I will almost certainly be arrested. I am scared but determined. So I turn to the community which has helped me through all my past hurdles on the road of transition to feel a little less alone in the world.

Oddly, through all of this, they haven't challenged my right to use the men's bathrooms! Weird.

Thanks for listening, guys (and gals).

This makes me cry.

I will never again sit quietly while trans people are dismissed or marginalized. Anger and courage are the gifts of late transition.

My word ! this is a step backwards for your university;I just cannot believe that a so called place of higher and suppossedly enlightened learning can do this and get away with it.
Hate and bigotry are alive and well it seems.
Good luck to you and I hope you get justice.
Paula.

You must be very angry and frustrated at this situation. Have you sought out any legal counsel as to your situation? Perhaps a judge can be convinced to file an injunction against the university to stop their harassment. Please consider other options carefully before you get arrested. When you are arrested you are automatically in a one down position from your antagonists. Don't get mad, get even!

I'm appalled I didn't think that kind of bigotry existed anymore and least of all in a country like the USA which I have until now regarded as the most modern thinking country in the world. I can do very little to help from here but my thoughts will be with you and please think things through and try and get the better of them by legal means because they are proving themselves to be Neanderthal by their use of security guards to back up their demands. It can be done as I had a battle once with my local authority and stood to lose my house but I stood my ground and eventually won but it was a touch hairy at the time. Good luck, you'll be in my thoughts..........

Good questions. There is no law that forbids use of facilities by members of the opposite sex. My university forbids discrimination on the basis of gender identify or expressions, which this rather obviously is.

To get a changed birth certificate requires SRS, which I have not had. However, my state id card says that I am male. (I also am registared with the selective service.)

I don't have the article to show you right now, but I'll try to provide a link to it within a few days.

I am not sure that 'most' of the students are actually against me, I just feel that way, because I am getting heckled a lot for my choices. A lot of people seem to feel that I should be satisfied with changing in segregation. Some other people think I am handling it the wrong way, by taking legal action. I've tried to explain that this is my last resort, after trying hard to solve things in other ways, talking to everyone from the director of the health center, to the dean, to the president, but I'm not sure that I am getting it across.

Wow I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. It;s terrible. I can only wish you the best of luck.

I really feel for ya mate and I think you are doing the right thing taking action against them as they are clearly breaking the law. You have tried to keep everything in house and sort things out quietly but they are being outrageous :( Thinking of ya mate and good look :).....Felix

Thanks for the support, folks. Felix, you are one of my heroes here, so the encouragement is very cool.

For my promise of a link to the story, sorry that it has been more than a few days, but here is: http://www.upj-advocate.com/features...iscrimination/

Awwww thanx mate I'll give it a read :) hope ya feeling a little brighter today keep ya chin up mate :).......Felix

Hey Seamus, good on you for fighting this and calling attention to it. This is how progress is made. Good luck.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gina X

I'm appalled I didn't think that kind of bigotry existed anymore and least of all in a country like the USA which I have until now regarded as the most modern thinking country in the world.

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Sometimes it is, sometimes it really ain't. It depends. The USA is a massive country with a lot of internal variation.

Seamus, I suggest that you call legal aid in your area and get a lawyer. That is the only way you can fight this. Its discrimination plain and simple and should not be tolerated at all. Legal aid is usually free if you do not have an income, are low income or on disability. being a student qualifies you for low income I would think. Your best bet is to fight it with the very law you are standing on. Keep all the correspondence they have sent you or that they have made publicly etc. take it all with you to see the lawyer. There also maybe some lawyers out that that would love to take on a suit like this pro-bono, you never know until you ask. Good luck hope it all works out for you.

Also depending on how far you want to take it after talking to a lawyer take it public to the news media if you are comfy with that.

Stay the course. How disgusting this day and age, and of all places, a school of higher learning suposedly. Document everything you/they do, and demand everything in writing.

Kind of sucks that some GMs are so homophobic that they would give an FTM a hard time. Sure some of them would not care for us MTF but that seems more understandable since us MTF "quit the team".

For the school, I would assume they would have at least claimed to be concerned for your personal safety (or THEIR liability if a student was hurt by others)

What are the other male students afraid of anyways?

Aside all that, good job on joining the weightlifting class. Excellent way to learn about the basics of weight training and starting building your own masculine physique. Most important on weight training - do not neglect squats as many weight trainers do. Yes they are a bitch and yes they build serious strength.

It looks to me like the university is trying to protect itself without actually trying to understand your position. Now they've forced you into a situation where you must either cave in to their position or risk arrest. They're actions escalate the potential for someone to get hurt, namely you, especially considering everything was fine the first semester. Do you know if any of the guys complained about you using the locker room?

Part of me whispers "Let it slide and just use the private room." But another screams "Enter that locker room like a MAN."

I read your post and it saddens me deeply.
Although being all guy myself except on occasion i am surprised by this.

Seems guys in lockerooms really do not care about anyone in there, from my experiences in high school football.

I am wondering if they are making a stance with this because of a male-female using the women s locker room and they feel they have to be consistent. Just curious?

Surely you have a GLBT group on campus. Get them involved. I also recommend either legal aid or hiring a lawyer preferably not from the local town. Go to the larger cities to look for one. It sucks to be singled out but know you are doing the right thing here. I am sure you have many more people behind you than you may ever know.

I'll bet a FB page could be put up to collect funds for legal cost.

Seamus,

If you are going to stay the course, you HAVE to get legal representation! If there is not some obvious group in your area that provides legal services to the LGBT community (Lamda Law, etc.) then contact the Transgender Law Center here in California and they should be able to point you to a similar group in PA. Please do this.

Good Luck and keep us informed.
Debby

Seamus, as an attorney myself, I suspect the University officials - undoubtedly on the advice of their legally prominent, highly-experienced and well-paid counsel - are looking to protect the institution from a major lawsuit by you against it, should you be showering in the mens' area and be raped or gang-raped. You have told us that you are pre-op and could be the victim of that horrible situation. The Duke University Lacrosse team debacle is certainly not far from their thoughts. The University's defense to this situation in a discrimination lawsuit would be that they offered reasonable accommodation to you, which would insulate them from liability under the circumstances.

I doubt that the guys in the locker room mind, as it would be a novelty to have a "girl" (in their eyes, anyway) joining them there and stripping down. Honestly, I think your case is an uphill climb. One needs to choose one's battles with care, and always best from the high legal, if not moral, ground.

Hugs,
Jen

so whatever happened to all this?
Seamus, care to update on the situation?

I was very pleased to see that this post has not been locked like some on the first page are.

Seamus, if you're still around or someone else may know, was there a resolution to this?

Seamus has not been back in about a year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...v=MCYFfGAHdEk#!

Lots of stuff out there regarding these two.
I believe someone else made the bomb threats though.

I wonder why no follow up since last year about their case?
Can we assume the investigation then showed Seamus didn't make the threats? I mean if he had - wouldn't there be a follow-up?

One thing in the news - at LEAST they had enough re4spect to call him "he".

Seamus fought like hell for his rights. Whether or not he made the threat, he still had the balls to NOT roll over meekly in the face of opposition. He is a strong young man.

I think so too.

However I have doubts about his partner, I think he was 18 and she was 52 when they got together.

I've read some things his parents have written regarding her influence on him.
They were very concerned about him.

He seems very calm, knowledgeable and stable.

She seems to be seeking attention by being deliberately confrontational.