Egh! problem

So you guys probably don't have problems like this, since I know a lot of you are full time. But I'm not, and I'm still mostly in the closet about this. I went out today, since I didn't have to work tonight. Good news: pictures in the picture gallery! Bad news: On the way home, I stopped at the grocery store. Well, my boyfriend's roommate was working there. I'm pretty sure he saw me, although I tried my hardest to turn away and not look at him, I couldn't help it because I was standing in the line and couldn't go anywhere. Well, not only that but the kid running the cash register was new and so he had to call the whole store over to help him out so I know he noticed that. I was so embarrassed, I just don't want him to get home and tell everyone "yeah I saw Michael's girlfriend, she was dressed like a man!" What should I do?

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Originally Posted by Fainne the King

I just don't want him to get home and tell everyone "yeah I saw Michael's girlfriend, she was dressed like a man!" What should I do?

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Well, I saw the pictures (nice look, by the way), and I'm just wondering what your regular look is and how different it is from the pictures. Is it such a big difference that you think it shocked him and he'll start gossiping? Is it something you can downplay, if someone asks you? You know like, can you say, "Hey, I was just wearing jeans and a t-shirt, what's the big deal?" Or is it really a very big departure from what people would expect to see you in? Or are you concerned that it's not something people would ask you directly about, but would gossip about behind your back (I know that feeling)?

Well, I've worn the shirt before when I was in female mode, the difference was really only that I was binding and wearing men's style pants. I'm pretty sure my lack of boobs was something noticible though. I'm just worried about gossip, if anyone talked to me about it I'd be a lot more comfortable talking about it. I just hate having people make assumptions about me.

Erg! Gossip is a tough one. This really won't sound like it helps, but bare with me. I'm not saying you are, but you might be making mole hills into mountains. Because you were very aware of how you looked different, you might be overshooting what other people saw. I know that I for one freak out a lot about things like this, I spent a month obsessing over whether this one girl thought I was a man or a woman, and it was really not worth the effort, everyone kept assuring me that I just looked like me. I suggest sitting tight for now, and relaxing, seeing how it unfolds, nothing good can come from worrying. If worse comes to worse, you could say that it was laundry day, and what business does he have looking at your chest? If I were him I wouldn't confess seeing any chest differences to your boyfriend.

Don't make a big deal of it. If you see this guy again, don't be avoidant or act fishy. That'll just tip him off that something was up. Just be cool, and he probably will be.
I once spent a good half of a day worried that someone had cought me in the act of ... something less then savoury (nonspecified :redfaced:), and realized that by just acting cool, and making nothing of it, the person made nothing of it to, and never mentioned it to anyone... at least, I never heard it come back to me.
The likelihood is he didn't notice, or didn't think much of it. Either way, just be cool, and by tomorrow you will have forgotten you had this worry in the first place.

cant girls be tom boys......dont raise the issue unless someone else does....then tell em you were wearing what you wearing for comfort! plenty of GGs wear guys clothes!

To offer a view from the other side of the fence: to be honest, the double-standard will almost certainly work in your favor.

Unless you had facial hair or were packing, it will probably never occur to him that you were "dressed as a man." (Sorry guys...) Dressed casual, dressed sloppy, dressed to to some dirty work, yes. Dressed as a man, no. It just doesn't occur to men that a woman might be crossdressing unless she's really being overt about it.

For what it's worth, one thing I discovered is that we're usually extremely self-conscious when in reality most of the time other people aren't really paying attention -- and if they are, often they don't care.

As Sparro said, just be cool like Fonzie and all should be fine. Worse case, if asked just say you were doing something that required dressing less lady-like.

Ok, just to follow up. No one has said anything to me, I saw him yesterday and he didn't act weird or say "oh didn't I see you at Bi-Lo the other day?" so guess I was just too worried. *phew* Thanks for your comments guys.

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Originally Posted by Fainne the King

Ok, just to follow up. No one has said anything to me, I saw him yesterday and he didn't act weird or say "oh didn't I see you at Bi-Lo the other day?" so guess I was just too worried. *phew* Thanks for your comments guys.

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I'm glad that seems to have blown over. I'll bet you're feeling better. :happy:

Excellent. I'm glad things worked out for you!