Big weekend

Had what I thought was a great weekend so wanted to share with you girls!

Firstly, I told a GG friend that I like to dress! She was super supportive, asked lots of questions so she could better understand where I was at and told me it was all good. We messaged a fair bit after the conversation discussing clothes and shoes and what would suit me etc. Felt really good and refreshing. We did not discuss whether she would go out with me dressed, but since that wouldnt happen for a while anyway due to the pandemic, got some time before that comes up.

Secondly, had a few hours on Sunday while wife was out and since I?d not had opportunity on Saturday I couldnt resist getting dressed. Just a black strappy top, leather leggings and some heeled boots, bra and panties obviously. I was walking around the house just feeling really happy and soaking up the moments when I suddenly decided to take the rubbish out to the bins. They are only at the end of my driveway but still outside of the house. I did and got back in with zero events. But, why did I do that? I have a million questions going round in my head as that is sooo far outside of my comfort zone just now. Did I want to get caught? What would have been the fallout? I need to have a think about this. Ultimately, sure I?d love to go out dressed properly with makeup, nails etc just this was very out of character for me.

Thirdly, I asked wife if I could borrow a pair of her fabric leggings for general wear as they felt so much nicer than drab jeans and she said yes. Happy days! I realise as I?m writing this that it?s a pretty small thing, but for me it is planting a seed of thought.

Got a hellish day at work today so the come down will be abrupt, but making the happy last as long as I can.

Love Rachel

Honesty is so refreshing and much relief...

Rachel,

I remember when I plunged back in in '13, I got dressed up and put on a ratty old costume wig and felt a very girly rush. I impulsively donned a light jacket and hat and went for a 15 minute drive -- pretty foolish since my face was totally un-feminine. My mind was a buzz as I stepped up a level. A couple months later it came crashing down, I purged, and didn't dress for months. My advice is to take it slow, focus on one thing at a time, and enjoy the ride.

Oh Boy,

SLOW DOWN GIRL!

You told a GG friend but had to dress while your wife was out?

Then you go outside your home, dressed, to take out the trash.
Was it dark? Did you want to get caught?

What were you thinking???

Then you ask to borrow a pair of your wife's leggings. If you could do that, why couldn't you dress when she was home?

Conflicts here between what happened. I think you're playing with fire and need to SLOW DOWN!

I was about to post the same things that Linda posted!

You really need to slow down and think about what you are doing. Get some control over your impulses. Seriously.

Oh I completely agree that I need to slow down.
It was all an impulsive rush and extremely out of character for me.
Feet are firmly back on the ground today and thinking more clearly.
One thing, one day at a time and let's see where that goes.
Love Rach

I agree on taking is a bit slower. You are probably experiencing what I call the Crazy Enthusiasm stage. Going public with your identity revelation is tremendously liberating and you naturally want to tell everyone and announce it to the whole world. Big mistake to give in to that as it leads to making mistakes as a result of assuming because a few have supported you everyone will. Don't worry; you are not going into mania. It is very common. So, please consider things a bit more carefully before acting on the urges and desires to be seen widely. That will come in time.

You need to find the look that fits you best. You do have the benefit of a supportive wife, but the fact is that support is still tentative in many ways. If she is willing let her help you find your look as well as your mannerisms and the like as that is all needed to be reasonably convincing in public. Don't be in too much of a hurry - with effort that presentable (not necessarily passable) presentation will come soon enough and then you can go out with conviction and openly express that which has been hidden in side you for all that time.

Thank you all for your steer and guidance.
I really appreciate it.
@Gretchen - I think 'supportive' is a strong word just now. Will be many very small steps with wife but a nice start is probably more accurate.
Love Rachel

Hi Rachel,

I am guessing your wife doesn't know about your feminine side? If that's the case then I am going to have to agree with the others to slow down. If you are dressing up, going outside,and confiding about your dressing to other GG's and your wife doesn't know about this you are setting yourself up for disaster. If your wife finds out from a third party, hell hath no fury than a woman scorned. Good luck!!!

Gee wiz!

I would do a ton of reading of other posts on this site and the slower you go the easier it will be.

You may get to enjoy all the stages of life.

Try to get your wife in board, that is a priority.

Rachel, since you're not out to your wife, I agree with others (and with you, since you observed yourself that you were behaving irresponsibly). If I were your wife and a neighbor, not you, broke the news to me of my hubby's crossdressing I would never forgive you.
Are you giving some thinking to coming out to her? The more you wait the more you will hurt her.

I will reiterate with others have said: Please make sure you have a good talk with your wife before you start involving other GG's into your circle. Otherwise you are playing with fire.

By the way, borrowing leggings from your wife is not "planting a seed". Talk to her. Communication is the key.

The fact that another GG is in on the loop before your wife is a major red flag. Wherever your tastes take you, if any one thing is gonna blow up in your face, that's it.

The only thing I can add here is that since it seems that having The Talk with the wife is now mandatory (because another WOMAN knows now, and really, she should have been the first), be ready for her logical response that will be shrouded in all the emotion. That's what happened to me, when I finally did what I should have done earlier, and told her. The logical response is simply this - you didn't tell me about this before, therefore you are a liar. Yes, shrouding all this is the idea that the man now has feminine traits, which she may not like, but what really drives it is The Original Lie. In my case, it didn't work to say, "I thought it would go away, but it didn't".
My wife accepts it, because I think she did the research to learn about The Drive we have, and because she loves me. But it would have been way better if I'd told her sooner - the only real problem she has is the Original Lie.
So in your case, profit from others' previous experiences, which are detailed in many threads here. What will you say when you tell her, and she says you lied to me ... what else have you lied about? How can I trust you? You have to be ready for that, and recognize that in this case, she's in the right, and all you can do is explain your side, and beg forgiveness. In my case, it worked. It took time and a lot of talk, and frankly groveling on my part.
Good luck with this, girl. This is the big show, now.

I strongly suggest that you not plan outings with a GG without discussing it with your wife first and getting her blessing. Even assuming that it's completely platonic, it could be a sore point with her, or worse. I've got to admit that I've had thoughts about going out en femme with one or two women I know, but I also think about the time I suggested to my wife that perhaps I could take a female college friend out for a ride on our tandem bicycle. She made it clear that riding together was OUR thing. Being married to a crossdresser is stressful enough for a wife without mixing in the possibility of an affair.

i discussed this with my wife (who is also a member on here). Her first question is whether the wife knows who this GG Friend is and whether they are friends. Also could be a concern that jealousy rears its head. Doesn't sound like you are being honest with your wife. Re-read Char GGs comment.