Well, roommate knows

I got off at 2 today and rushed home so I could have some kristen time before I picked up my boys. I got dressed, but had to wait to leave because another roomie and his sister were talking outside my door. I left my room and locked it when they were gone and hurried out the door. No one is ebert in the living room when 6 p.m. hits so I thought I was safe, but then got a text from my land lord asking anybody who is home to let another roommate in that just got back in town. I texted back on how to get into the house. I then had to go home. I decided that no matter what I was walking into the front door and if he was siting there oh w well. Well guess what? He was there alright. He looked at me funny, gave me a smile then another funny look. He then got up and asked me if all the room keys were universal because he left his keys in another state. I told him just a minute, went into my room, changed, came back out and answered his question. So, there you have it!

Oh... must have been awkward... Are you okay?

My room mate knows cos I told him within a few days of moving in. But hes not seen me dressed yet. Dunno if I would be comfortable with that. Grats though!

Surely that's not the end of the story, you told him about the key and you didn't talk more about how you were dressed? Or are you still waiting to have the big conversation?

I must say congrats on walking through the door. I remember a similar moment last year when I came home from a night out at a TG club and I arrived home just at the same time as my roommate and his then girlfriend. I parked and saw them walking up to the front door of our building and I had a moment where I could've just sat in the car and waited till they were inside to go on but I told myself, no, I live here, this is my right. And I walked in. I had already worn skirts a few times around and talked to him about it so he knew I crossdressed but this was the first time he'd seen me in girl mode, and the first his GF knew about it.

Wow, I bet that was a little awkward! At least the was no freaking/name-calling or anything aggressive. Perhaps this could be a good thing. Good luck, keep us posted.

Wow that must have got your heart pumping. I used to have a room mate when I was younger, few times after a night of partying I would wake up on the couch in just panties knowing he had to of seen me. Talk about embarrassing LOL.

If I needed to get into my room I wouldn't have caused a scene either!! But now that he in.... :)

Keep us posted as this develops. I'ms ure yu're Roomies will have some more questions.

Ok, well now 2 know. I have slowly been letting things slip as I become more comfortable with myself and my decision and I am finding that people really don't care as much as I thought. Today at work a woman I work with asked me if I shaved my legs and I told her "Yes" and she asked me why. I didn't tell her why, but this guy that was standing next to us said hmmm..... seems like the younger the crowd the stranger the things that go on. First its wearing girls clothing and now its all the boys are shaving their legs. It seems that my generation does it a lot too, but not as much as the younger generations. I thought that was awesome because I really didn't feel like telling her because I "Crossdress". I have had this policy in place that if anybody asks me a question that is directly related to my cding I will tell them the truth. So I was going to tell her I CD, but then I was saved by the bell, woohoo! My supervisor was talking to another associate telling her that "Men" don't do the mirror effect when telling someone they have a piece of pie or something stuck on their lip or anything else and only women do that because they apply makeup and are always doing the mirror effect. I told him that I must be a strange guy because I always do the mirror effect and he said then you must wear makeup, which is "Creepy". I was thinking to myself "only if you knew" lol. My roomie on the other hand hasn't had anything bad to say and he seems alright with it, but I don't think he would appreciate it if I did it all the time. I think another roommate knows because of his friend who is staying with him and I was telling her that my favorite chapstick came from nordstrom. It is a fabulous chapstick. It is called facial fuel and it's roughly 10 dollars and it is amazing!! I was reluctant at first to pay 10 dollars for a tube of chapstick, but my lips were so chapped that I decided to do it anyway. If I have the money I will definitely be buying this chapstick again!! So anyways his friend told me that, that was more than a tube of lipstick and I without thinking said it sure is and lipstick is only a few dollars or 97 cents for a tube of red at Wal-Mart. My roommate still talks to me pretty consistently. None of my roommates who know have asked any questions, which is good. I am also moving out at the end of January and I have decided that the best policy is the truth and so that has inspired my dressing more and more and the more people I tell the more questions I get. I think I may have found a woman I might want to date.. she seems pretty ok with it and has even asked me why I like to do it and said I'm a nice gal and would like to get to know me a little better so I have a makeup appointment with her on thursday after work so she can teach me a thing or 2 about makeup!!

What you said about your friend saying "why do you do it?" kinda struck me.

I would reply with "why does anybody do anything? Because there's something inside us that wants to know what it feels like."

This is true for your job, your friends, every time you have sex, and every time you make a decision of what to wear. One way or another, you're doing it because in the long run you expect to feel better from it.

We're all slaves to sensation and emotion. Guy or girl or "other." Like it or not.

Nobody escapes this paradigm. There is no one to blame. And it makes me feel happy and relieved to know this and stop feeling ashamed.

You know, I was once called a creep by a girl back in high school. I realized sometime later that it was because I was hiding much of myself, not being true, opening up, communicating. I reached an impasse in my life about age 25 and decided that anyone new that was going to know me, be it strangers or yet-to-be friends, was going to know very early on some of my "secrets." I've never been called a creep since, though once in a while a guy calls me a "fag." I've gladly traded one for the other. I feel much more fulfilled being a part of people's lives... in conversation, interaction, planning, cooperation, human contact, intimacy... than I ever felt trying to be something that I'm not inside. As Eddie Izzard said, "I'm a complete boy, plus half a girl." That's me.

Feels good to be honest and let it out. Which is what I'm doing here.

... and these are just the thoughts that popped up while reading your post =)

Well, this turned into a new years resolution. I have always ran away when someone was coming. The fight our flight syndrome among crossdressers is a curse in my opinion. Well on new years eve I dolled up and headed to the gas station, filled up, got a drink and went over to payless to return some shoes braids e they were pinching my toes. I then came home. My overall goal its to quit dressing all together, but over time and I understand that I will never fully be able to stop fully without some very strong sport. I decided that the only option I have is to start people that I cd at least to start and the first people I wanted to know were my roommates. I understand this wasn't the best way, but out worked for me. I decided that I was shorting myself because of the fear of anyone finding out my secret and the only way to elongate that was to let it out. I went to the kitchen, made dinner and waited. I could hear someone upstairs and the first thought I had was kristen someone is upstairs, go hide in the bathroom and wait till they leave. I decided not to and held my ground. Eventually my roommate came down. He was a bit taken aback, but said hi and we had a fantastic conversation. Only problem was I was paler t than the floor and was getting a headache from not running into the bathroom. Eventually his guest came down and did the same thing. She pegged me as a cder weeks ago and wasn't surprised when I was dressed up. By this time my heart was pounding and I felt like passing out. I took some advil, which was in my room. I came back out to find out that one of her friends standing in the douay. I was ok with that since I had been out all month in the evening as kristen. It turns out he is a sister and she didn't know hat he was a sister. So we 3 girls sat down had a nice chat and I even got a beautiful purple dress. Eventually one by one my roommates shuffled in asked questions and I answered them. All my roommates expressed that they were sad to see me go as I'm moving back in with my parents end of january. so I had a wonderful new years. The idea of quitting will take years of hard work and dedication, but in the meantime I'm going to enjoy every moment that I have as a kristen!

And you're quitting why, exactly?

Not that I want to dissuade you or anything. I just want to know why you would. Parents? Church? Friends? A feeling that it is wrong? Guilt?

Kathi

That is something I myself can't explain right now. But I will enjoy crossing every moment I still have it in my life.