I got read a lot today

Hi Everybody a bit of back ground on me

I go out mainstream during the day several times a week on my own ,doing normal things shopping,especially the women s departments as I will only shop there fem ,and will try things on
never a problem

I especially like going to tourist towns with nice gardens wearing floaty skirts and sandals
I have been having a lot of success and getting very confident and haven’t ( noticed ) any reads
lately

I dress to blend in but always ladylike my figure and height and face are reasonable
makeup just enough

Anyway back to my story I was not really in the mood today to go out as I have been out a lot
lately , but with nothing else to do I dressed casually nice lady s slacks and top, low heal shoes
and headed out , I went to a mall about 1030am and that’s when my confidences fell apart, I had
at least three reads one by an elderly women and then an elderly man , there were two young
girls in the phone hut staring at me too , I know I should have kept going but decided to go home
to debrief myself

So what did I learn
At 1030am in a mall there are a lot off bored people with nothing else to do but people watch
I have been to this mall before but its always been busy with no problem

We are less likely to be noticed when there are more people around

Don't go out unless I’m in the mood with my don't give a F attitude

I hope you find this interesting and I hope you girls that go out will add some
of your experiences
Thanks
Julie

PS - Man in the dress shop
An interesting add on to my previous post today , the first shop I went in before my day fell apart was a lady's wear shop there was another women and me checking out the dresses , the other shopper was a man in drab also checking out the wears ( maybe shopping for the wife )

I find I get read a lot more when I'm worried about getting read. Perhaps it's just psychological. But I find that if you're bold about it and act like you expect others to accept you, then they do.

If I'm not really feeling like it or not in the mood I don't go en femme into the world. I need my confidence to be high and my I don't give a darn attitude to be up front in my mind. I will go out in semi femme, that way I'm not read I just leave them guessing, is that a male in transition or a female in transition? and go about my way smiling.

Thanks for sharing!
I enjoy reading about outing-experiences, even if they're not so positive.
:)

Hi Julie

Its such a shame when our confidence gets knocked that we have to hide ourselves again but it happens to the best of us.
Unfortunately the mall is always crawling with bored people, men sitting at benches waiting on their SO's to finish browsing, elderly people taking a load off their feet, or mothers taking a break with their kids and then the dreaded Youth's of today loitering around on their phones but while they are all waiting around, seemingly to pass judgement, you get to sail past them and carry on with your shopping.

So chin up, there is always next time!

Sarah x

I can relate, as I just several weeks ago started going for walks certain places. The first five outings went ok, but i know i was read a lot. The sixth, I just suddenly felt lousy, and lost all confidence, but, maybe gut feeling was right, as maybe some days are best taking a break.

Don't let it shake you. I know I've sworn I'll never go out again after getting read. It takes me awhile to recover from a not so good outing. I always come back to the fact that "passing" isn't my main objective. My objective is to present externally who I really am internally. Of course I want to do the best job in presentation that I can. However I realize there are things about me that an observant person may see that would blow my cover. Don't care! My inner angst from living in guy mode exceeds my fear of momentary embarrassment . Also if we stay locked up in the house and never force society to come face to face with us things will never change for the better.

I'm sorry to hear that, it can be quite the hit to your confidence. But, as they say get straight back on the horse or it will just get harder. I must admit I'm a little different... I sometimes get a little pissed off if I don't get a reaction or two... I actually enjoy the odd 'double take' and really like it when strangers engage me in conversation. Guess that's the result of just too much confidence!!

Another great testimony for the power of confidence when going out dressed. Glad to know you have the experience to know that today was just an off day and that you'll be out there again when you get your mojo back. Happy shopping!

Just today I went out in my best blending clothes - if I lived in Milan in another decade. Flared black pencil skirt, soft grey cowl neck sweater, wrap-around leather belt and 3" heels. Did anybody notice? Yes, everybody did. In fact, I would say that this outfit has drawn the most attention of anything I have ever worn - I have never been stared and whistled at so much in my life. Where did I go? To the drycleaners, the drug store and then bought a bottle of wine. But confidence is the key. If you decide to blend I think you have already conceded half the battle.

Hi Julie, just chalk it up as a learning experience.:hugs:

I only underdress in pretty wears on weekends. This weekend, I speed to get lumber, lunch and beer at our craft beer store. Limber and lunch were cool but when I went to liquor store, I asked for a specific beer they didn't have. When I came back around, the sales clerk's were talking about how they see everything working there.

Instantly, I checked to see if any lace was hanging out and it wasn't. I was in jeans and had a shirt with no bra. I swear they were talking ale me but I can't figure out what have me away. But thanks for sharing your story.

Just own it and go on about your business. Make a game of it. How many times will I get read today? Besides, you might have totally messed up those old folks heads. Remember to be safe and always have an escape route if needed.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Jorja

Just own it and go on about your business. Make a game of it. How many times will I get read today? Besides, you might have totally messed up those old folks heads.

---

Totally agree, did I tell you about the time I was sitting at a local park and a guy was approaching me with his dog to start a conversation...my phone rang...work emergency...had to answer it and be a 'guy' during the conversation LOL. The dog fell over sideways, and the guy turned 180 degrees! I didn't flinch as if it was nothing (the dog recovered by the way)...not sure if I was read or if it was just a solar storm but that was two months ago and I'm still here being me 😀

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by julie w

So what did I learn
At 1030am in a mall there are a lot off bored people with nothing else to do but people watch

---

This has been our experience too. My SO doesn't get read when people aren't paying attention to us. Which makes sense, but going out with the aim of not being seen kinda defeats the purpose?

When we're at a restaurant or sitting at a café, or if we walk by people who are people watching, then my SO is stared at. I call it the 2-second rule. If a glance lingers on us for more than 1 second then people notice that my SO is not a GG. And anyone we interact with know that my SO is not a GG, but my SO is OK with that as long as they are polite.

I can really identify with your experience Julie. That has happened to me several times, but the good times outweigh the bad times in my mind. Sometimes it's both in the same outing.

Comes with the weirdos we are, I guess. Hang in there girl.

I would guess that the number of times I notice that I'm read would correlate closely with the amount of attention I am paying to others. Most of the time I pay no attention at all.