Does your CD'ing shape your though process?

So out for a bite to eat (Drab) with the SO and as we were being seated we passed a booth with 2 twenty something GG's, a 10-12 year old boy and what I initially took to be a 15'ish year old teenage male. However this male had a fully tattooed forearm and his upper arm wrapped in cling film protecting fresh significant tattooing.

Now in the UK it's illegal for anyone under 18 to get a tattoo even with parental consent. Now it could be that this was a very young looking 18+ person but then it dawned on me that this could be a trans (FTM) for want of a better description, using body art to accentuate their masculinity. I must add that a few other little tells caught my eye that made me think Trans.

I felt a little guilty that my thought process had brought me to that point and hence the reason for my question. Would I have got to that point if I wasn't a CD'er? That said is it a bad thing that I was able to consider such a possibility?

In the end it could well be this was a very immature looking male but my sixth sense was telling me otherwise. Yep, this is me people watching again.

Well, I have only recently gone more full-time now I am out to some family.

It has made me think more calmly. It has softened my nature and how I talk and behave, less laddish (not that I was very much anyway). I feel a little less fearful. I am becoming more organised in my thinking, less depressed and taking much better care of my hygiene and appearance. Even without the femme clothes, it has been a huge transformation already.

Nothing wrong with people watching, it helps all us deep thinkers reason with life as it is.

CD'ing does shape your thought process in the same way a horse trainer would see a slightly built man walking down the road and think, he would make a great jockey.

You may see the same man and think, a little bit of makeup and the right clothes he would make a great girl.

Helen, keep looking and thinking, it keeps the mind vibrant. :-)

I think Beverley put it great. So of course my CDing has shaped my thought process and how I perceive the world.

I have several friends and even some family members with tatoos. If done with taste amd good art I like them. I do not care for all over body tatoos. Usually too busy and confusing. I think my dressing has made me consider one or two, but my wife is dead against it and not sure that I could really do it even if it is OK

Cding taught me that I wasn't alone or was a freak but a trasgender.
Of course I'm not longer homo or transphobic which I was just a defense unconscious mechanism for my own weakness in that area.

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Originally Posted by Vanessa Grandy

Cding taught me that I wasn't alone or was a freak but a trasgender.
Of course I'm not longer homo or transphobic which I was just a defense unconscious mechanism for my own weakness in that area.

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Same. It is a denial. Although I am still not convinced I am really bi. Reality is often different to fantasy. I tried it one weekend and didn’t like it. Maybe it was that it was rough and meaningless. But then I cannot feel for a guy the way that I feel for a gal. So really just misdirected lust.

But since I came more full time with dressing, and come out to family about it, I have definitely now admitted my true more liberal views instead of fighting it with aggressive denials. Honesty is better, and makes one a happier more at peace person. So instead of being a blind hypocrite in denial, I now support the gay and trans movement.

Kiera, I was convinced for years that I was bisexual. For the same I was very promiscuous. I'm not embarrased of saying it for the sake others can learn too.
With the years I arrive to the conclusion I was homosexual because of more sex with men than women all my life.
It was just after start HRT that made huge changes and I found that all that was an unconscious search of a femenine identity and the confusion between sex and gender.
See? Now I'm clear I'm trasgender and I feel repulsion and deep regrets for all that I did.

I was a teenage boy in the 1960's. There was no internet. There was no readily available reading material. The Kinsey Report was behind the librarian's desk. Males who wore women's clothing were deemed to be homosexuals, although they were referred to by very crude names. I thought I had to be a homosexual even though I lusted after movie starlets (Annette Funicello in particular) and the cute girls I encountered at school, the neighborhood and church. Oh, that sinful lusting behavior at church. Strike me down!

Anyway, this desire left a terrible mark on my self esteem for a long time. Totally confused due to disinformation. I never revealed these thoughts so I did not have any consequences, although if my parents had been able to confirm it was I wearing my mother's clothing, I'm sure my butt would have been beaten with a belt.

This mental anguish has made me totally accepting of other lifestyles even though I do not understand what makes them tick. It has also made me very defensive or protective of their lifestyles. I've mentioned before my wife has a female second cousin who is transitioning to a male. I also had a friend (now deceased) who has a grandson who was shunned and eventually forced out of his high school and school activities because he came out as transgender. It is my understanding he is identifying as a she. The treatment he received was brutal with almost no intervention by school authorities. His grandfather who could not understand the grandson and did not approve of the grandson in the beginning came around to be fully supportive.

It was somewhat interesting that the group of combat vets I see every week are more supportive of a person's right to be who they are than the younger people. You'd think it would be the other way around. Perhaps, fighting to protect others has made our group more supportive, although many do not understand what makes everyone tick.

I think you are reading something into a situation that's not really there. Tattoos are not the mark of a transsexual, either way.

I think it's a bit of a stretch to come to that conclusion,I don't think I'd have came to the same one.But I do indulge in people watching it is harmless

Sophie

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Originally Posted by Helen_Highwater

I felt a little guilty that my thought process had brought me to that point and hence the reason for my question. Would I have got to that point if I wasn't a CD'er? That said is it a bad thing that I was able to consider such a possibility?

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Everything we do feeds and colors our ability to interpret the world. To me it would be surprising if your activities didn’t shape your interpretations. Most people don’t have much knowledge of transgender people and might instead have come to some other conclusion like that he got tattoos outside of the UK. I wouldn’t feel guilty about it. Sounds like puzzle solving to me; which is a fun activity. It’s like trying to guess where somebody might be from based on an accent. It only becomes bad if we start making prejudicial judgements about that person or assume our guesses are more than just guesses and act on them.

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Originally Posted by Keira Bea

Same. It is a denial. Although I am still not convinced I am really bi. Reality is often different to fantasy. I tried it one weekend and didn’t like it. Maybe it was that it was rough and meaningless. But then I cannot feel for a guy the way that I feel for a gal. So really just misdirected lust.

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I had the same type of experience when young; the desire for a homosexual sex act was simply a result of connecting it with something else. I had no actual attraction to males, rather, the opposite, I found males repulsive. It was that which confused me so very much when I was growing up.

I would hope being around women would
enable me to become more caring compassionate .
With a better sense of style. In other words
qualities I admire and strive to emulate

JAS

My left forearm is English Rose and my Right is Chinese Peony's, some of us are Girls!

Helen,
In a reply sometime ago I said that I could only give an answer the OP through the eyes of a CDer/TG , does it ever switch off ?

Most of us are aware of something out of the ordinary , it's not very often you see people with cling film wrapped round their arm , that might have caught anyone's attention . Most of us might also be intrigued by what the tattoos depicted . As for being undecided about the gender , well teenagers these days do dress more in a unisex style .

I'm still inclined to agree with you that we do have a biased view , we are more inclined to be watching for tell tales . I'm not sure why you felt guilty unless it was the influence of having your wife with you , a touch of denial on your part !!

People have tattoos for so many reasons but basically it's to make a statement so they are open to to be used in so many ways . An expression of love , gender , stupidity ( being drunk and not knowing what you were doing !!) The list is endless .

Helen, for what it's worth I remember attending a FtM event at an SCC many years ago. There was a reception for Sonny and Cher's FtM daughter, Chastity. I have never seen so many FtM trans before or since! They were all much rounder and shorter than I and the other MtF dressers that attended. And, with their softer features, they all looked so young!:)

I now recognize FtM trans easier since that event about 10 years ago!:thumbsup:

Yes, I notice things that others don’t

Like last week, I’m having lunch with a co-worker. It’s a fast food place, I’m seated so I can see the entrance and counter.

A tall, good looking, well-groomed young man enters.

He is wearing a blueish wool coat, long mid-thigh, it is tailored and looks women’s. He is carrying a purse, teal blue leather messenger bag, the leather is woven in a basket weave pattern. Plain slacks, sweater under the coat. To top off this ensemble white tennis shoes.

I think for this person it was just a fashion statement.

I carry a purse all the time, yes it was next to me in the booth. I have never been questioned about it, I have received complements. So I watched to see if anyone else noticed, no one showed any sign they did.

This same co-worker, I have been training. We had just left a wholesale hardware store. He was miffed with the young SA who is a bit inexperienced. We are outside and could not be seen or heard. My co-worker referred to this person as HER. I stopped him right there and told him to never do that again. He didn’t realize what he had done, and apologized. The SA is FTM, He is sporting a tattoo. I would like to tell him that he needs to loosen up, He is way too serious.