Wanting more

With the pandemic effecting us all in one way or another, I have been left wanting more. My SO is a nurse, now working from home due to the pandemic. Her bedside days are long past, and now she works over the phone, helping patients get medications, monitor progress, etc.
She knows about my dressing, and it's pretty much a DADT situation. I'm self employed and work part time due to arthritis. My toes are painted, legs always shaved, etc. In winter, I generally lounge in leggings and a t shirt around the house. When she was at her office, I got some "me time" at home alone, which is when I would put on a pretty skirt or dress and just unwind and relax (dresses and skirts are beyond her acceptance). Now, I no longer have this time. I'm finding that I am much more irritable and my fuse is a bit shorter.
I love my wife dearly, but I do need some time to unwind, and dressing is my stress reliever. We have a cabin which I often escape to, but with recent shoulder surgery it's difficult for me to get up there right now. It doesn't get used a whole lot in the Winter, and with a recent snowstorm I wouldn't be able to get to it.
I could use a day or two in a bra and a pretty dress right now! Perhaps I'll change the polish on my toes today...that usually seems to cheer me up a little!

My suggestion is that you try to modify that DADT situation. She knows that you dress already, that's not a secret. Find a way to tell her that you need to be able to dress even if she is home.

It is hard in your situation. But sometimes the little things can ease the stress. Perhaps Burt's Bees lip balm would help. No strong color but match the color of your lips as much as possible. The act of putting it on, the aroma, the feel, and the taste can be quite effective in some people. Get a couple of new men's shirts that are in a bit more feminine colors. Second hand stores have great selections of such shirts and they are inexpensive. It is a tough situation but with a sensory hint that part of your identity can latch on to the message and be a bit more at ease.

Hi Pretty Toes,
I?ll be in the same situation soon. My wife is a nurse also but she still goes to work. I work from home. She can retire anytime but will probably work the just of this year. We are also DADT so I?m making the most of the time I have left. Don?t see any way around it but to talk to her about it. But I?m not sure I can bring myself to do it. In the past she said ? it?s disgusting, it makes me sick?. Since then I?ve kept it hidden. That was years ago.
She says she loves me, l?m a great guy, husband and father. Maybe she?ll come around accept me or at least give me some private time. That?s all I can hope for! Otherwise I?ll suffer in silence because I love her and don?t want to lose her.

Brianne

Krisi, As someone in a DADT relationship I can say trying to modify it is something that will most likely fall on deaf ears. That is not to say do not try but in my situation it would be useless and from what I have seen here most SO’s are dug in on this.
Prettytoes, Go to a salon to get a pedicure with a pretty color, that will definitely brighten up your day.
GretchenM made some good points that could be helpful, sometimes it is the little things that can brighten your day.

I am in the same situation, both at home all day every day and she does not want to see or know that I am dressing. I am working towards the goal of revisiting the talk and am close to doing it. That last step is huge.

hello Prettytoes,
You and your SO need to talk: can you reach a compromise?
Assure her that you need to de-stress and you are not doing this to make her feel uncomfortable or to embarrass her.
stay healhty!
luv J

A more flexible compromise is needed, I would have thought your wife might have had more insight.

In your case having been in the situation for some time I suggest make the push slowly, but I am sure you are well aware of that.

Probably increase your dressing around home more frequently, but ever so slightly.

Sort of, being a little sneaky. :-)

I know the feeling. Although not pandemic related, my home situation has changed and virtually eliminating time at home by myself. The best I can do is a little underdressing and dressing vicariously through this site or tasteful youtube videos. But, as they say, "this, too, shall pass."

I am assuming your wife needs a computer to update and consult medical charts. Is she not somehow glued to a computer keyboard? Is your home big enough to sequester yourself during her working hours to engage in some leisurely fem activity? My home is too small and the layout preclude privacy. I have friends with two story homes or workshops where they routinely hide; a man cave. Rarely do their wives venture into the man caves. Unfortunately, many times in a DADT marriage the wife does not like the notion her husband is en femme anywhere when she is at home. I get the feeling those wives do not like the self imposed restrictions because they may inadvertently walk-in on their husbands; "I can't go in there because he may be doing this or that!"