Friendly arm squeeze !

Despite the weather blowing a gale I had to do my supermarket shopping so I wrapped up in a cosy sweater and set off . I was just paying at the check out when I felt a friendly arm squeeze , for a moment I thought I'd dropped something but when I turned round it was the SA from my builder's merchant . She's tall , blond not unattractive , she gave me a big smile and asked how I was doing , I smiled back and thanked her for asking . She was with her husband , not bad looking , tall , blond possibly an Ed Harris lookalike , he also gave me a lovely smile .

I'm sure some are going to say , " So what !" and, "don't make too much of it !" To a point I agree , although it was a lovely gesture in the middle of a busy supermarket . More to the point I couldn't help think about a recent thread where I commented on a heated debate over the reaction from people in the RW with a member of my social group , she claimed you will always get a reaction and people will laugh behind your backs . I tried to impress on her that it wasn't really like that , in fact I hadn't experienced anything like that in the last two years , she didn't believe me . If only she had been with me today she would have seen for herself that a person I've met a few times was happy to single me out and say hello even with her husband . Her other choice might have been to rush away before I caught sight of her and possibly tried to tallk to them .

Teresa I have mentioned in some of my threads that I have received and used the arm touch(squeeze) while in conversation or gaining attention of someone or even making a point. It seems to me that this gesture brings things to a more closer and friendly level and that preconceptions or appearances don't matter. I think it is one of the things that is only associated with women and comes naturally to me as I grow in my feminine nature. A very affirming feeling that I'm being who I should be.

Teresa,

As you say she could have walked away and found another queue or just stood there and played dumb but the very fact she engaged with you says it all. We'll never know the conversation that may have ensued between man and wife once you parted but let's be kind and generous and say it wasn't a laugh at your expense. Why think the worst of people when we've no evidence to do so. If you got on well in the past, why should it be different now.

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Originally Posted by Teresa

I'm sure some are going to say , " So what !" and, "don't make too much of it !" To a point I agree , although it was a lovely gesture in the middle of a busy supermarket . More to the point I couldn't help think about a recent thread where I commented on a heated debate over the reaction from people in the RW with a member of my social group , she claimed you will always get a reaction and people will laugh behind your backs .

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Simple, as some people are accepting, some are not. Some will hug you and are honestly interested and concerned, some will laugh behind your back.

Lisa,
I agree , it was a point I forgot to make , she somehow needed or wanted to make that contact , she knows me by Terri so she could have called to me but chose to make physical contact .

Helen ,
We can never know for certain , she comes over as a sincere person so I would say if any conversation followed she would possibly talk about the work I'm doing on my kitchen as she's helped me with choosing worktops and tiles .

Than you for sharing Teresa. There is something very validating that a touch conveys that the exchange of pleasantries never will. I am very happy for you that you had that experience. I think that kind of assurance would do us all some good from time to time.

A very nice outcome, could she havegreeted you because she wanted her husband to see that crossdressing person is not the "weirdo" sometimes portrayed, the fact that he smiled politely says it all he was implying " yes so what life your life as you wish i have no problem at all good for you".
Avery happy outcome indeed.

What you experienced is completely normal. You will find that this will happen more and more as you become more known.

This is really just life. As everyone gets to know you , your no longer some random person. This now speaks to who your are as a person.

This happens to me all the time. As I said it is just life.

I don't know how you can change your friends mind. If it was me I would just have the person no follow me around for awhile. If she is ever in my neck of the woods have her hit me up. I'll open her eyes.

I'm glad that you feel accepted by those around you. :)

There was (or is still?) another member (I can't remember the name), who repeatedly started threads asking what was the likelihood he might be "generally" accepted by women. My answer to him was always the same. There is no "generally" when it comes to acceptance, as if human nature is one solid body moving along en masse.

There are those who accept, those who don't, and those who can't be bothered. Chances are that those who accept will be warm. Those who don't and those who can't be bothered will either not interact or they simply won't show their true feelings - they'll be neutral. I think that very few people will publicly show their disapproval.

Tersa as always you bring a great store to the post for all to enjoy. Thank you Connie

Teresa, I'm not surprised. Sure there are troglodytes who are not going to be accepting. Fortunately there are lots of people who are just nice, like your builder's merchant.

Jean,
Your first line really sums it up , isn't a lovely feeling just to be treated as " Normal " .

As for the member of the social group I realise now it was a stupid debate to be drawn into , basically we are different natures with a differnt outlook on life , her mindset is she will always encounter problems whereas I don't see any . Sometime ago I said that if you continually look over your shoulder for a reaction it will surely come , so people like her tend to go out with a defensive attitude .

Reine,
I've found if I accept myself and feel comfortable within the acceptance from others often follows . I also agree you can't go through life thinking everyone is on your team , maybe back to the comment that it's not all about me , people have their own problems and sometimes don't see what is around them .

Teresa good it was just and arm sqeeze what if you had been goosed!!!!

I'm a closet dresser so no one except my family knows about Sherry. Anyway, I don't visit our real estate board office often anymore. But, I did a couple of weeks go. The 2 or 3 women that work there have been there for ages. So, I'm not a new face. They helped me with some paperwork. While standing and chatting amiably with one I unthinkingly touched her shoulder.

She said angrily, "Don't touch me!":eek:

U can bet that woke me up!:brolleyes:

I've heard that when a woman touches your arm she's being flirtatious. Is it possible? :daydreaming:

Sherry, you are right, you can't touch someone that you don't know.

If they touch me, that is ok. It took some time before becoming comfortable with people touching me.

Teresa, yes if you are constantly looking for people to react you will see it. But you see it all the time, as when women pass they flash each other a smile. I do this without thinking about it, it's a way of saying hi without words.

I have had people be apprehensive when going out with me, not knowing how people will react with me accompanying them. When they see that the world is no different just because I'm in it, they change their outlook. Well it is actually different just not in a bad way, as you have found.

Here in France generaly people are a lot more liberal, kissing on both cheeks is quite normal even more so if one dressed like me

Jean,
I have noticed that quick eye contact and the smile , I've been doing it for a while .

The first close person to go out with me was my daughter , she's never shown a sign of apprehension , she wouldn't go out with me if she didn't feel comfortable but I feel she puts a great deal of trust in me. Naturally it is different to her she can see I'm much happier so it is certainly in good way .

Ressie,
It could be construed as flirtatious or it could just show a trust in the person .

Sherry,
I agree there is a difference , I find I can gently touch an arm if I'm chatting as Teresa , even to guys on occasions but it's something I rarely do in male mode .

Bobbi,
I'm wondering if that has some reason why you moved the France , aren't French guys also prone to pinching bottoms ?

Teresa, France in general is a more liberated country than people realise, much more familiar and when you get to know someone its gloves of humour as for pinching bottoms NO NO NO but when as was the case with me I have had a really good tight hug before now, also around here nobody bothers much with how you are dressed I dress to blend and since around June last year I have had no problems at all.