secretly dressing at home with wife home (DADT)

Yesterday and today my wife has been sick and I’ve been caring for her. Since she was been in bed most of the time I’ve been able to dress while she sleeps. I decided I needed to practice quickly changing back. I timed myself at 1 minute. I still checked on her periodically so I changed back to male mode for that too. All the changing back and forth was extra work, but worth it.

Part of how I was able to do a quick change was by keeping my bra on. Ok, removing the bra would have only added 5 sec. I wore a flannel shirt which hid the wire free bra quite well. This is the first time I ever wore a bra in front of my wife. For a long time I’ve thought of ways to add bra wearing at home, and finally was able to do it. But under normal circumstances I couldn’t risk it, in case she wanted an impromptu hug or something.

Is anyone else in DADT doing quick changes with the spouse at home?

The best I can attest to is sleeping in a floor length nylon nightgown and a nylon panty since my wife and I sleep in separate rooms for quasi medical issues; snoring. I'm an early riser, 7 AM. She sleeps late, 10 AM. I really don't think I would get any satisfaction doing what you're doing. You'd be better off under dressing in panty and hosiery and maybe a camisole under your flannel shirt.

This will not end well. Both the quick change artist of Post#1 and the early morning stuff of Post #2. Both are good ways to change DADT into strong, outspoken opposition. The reason for separate bedrooms will change from snoring to her loathing of cross dressing. Trust me, I know this from experience.

Stephanie, I already wear panties 24/7, and was experimenting with taking that a little further. In addition to the bra I was also wearing stockings. I don’t own a camisole, my wardrobe is quite limited.

Abby, I’m sorry your experience has not gone well. My wife has already strongly opposed my crossdressing, but I made it clear that is who I am. At one point she even cut up a pair of my pink panties, but I called her out on it saying how would you feel if I did that to your clothes? She hasn’t done that since. So our peace treaty is the DADT agreement.

My wife and I sleep in separate rooms for the same reason, snoring and comfort. My room is a combination computer/music room in the lower level with a large HDTV in the family room. I have freedom in the sense that once she settles down she won't come down there. I don't take advantage to the extent I could, mostly shaving my body and painting my toenails and trying on earrings. I need to do more dressing as I tend to be lazy about the changing back and forth and I don't feel dressed without makeup.

Nyla;

I know that this is not what you are looking for, but the path you are on , is one that will move way past DADT to probably an end to your relationship. People look for honesty in a relationship, not more deception and dishonesty. Since you have already drawn a line in the sand and said you are going to dress. Probably the best thing is to sit down and discuss mutually agreeable time and place. Say one or two hours on the weekend in the bedroom. I would also recommend getting the book "My Husband Betty" it may help your wife understand some thing with more clarity.

That has to be a horrible situation to live under somebody's foot.

Kelly, one of the challenges with a DADT relationship is that my wife knows that I crossdress but does not want to see it, or talk about it. I have been honest with her about my crossdressing, but arranging specific times to dress might cross the line. Right now I am finding enough time for my needs.

Tracii, I do not feel like I am being told what to do. I feel like she is telling me what she can handle.

Nyla,

Oh boy can I relate. Many many times, I have worn stuff practically under my wife's nose. Logic is sometimes overrun by the desire to dress up. It can make you do things you will later regret in a DADT relationship. Sometimes I have been able to stop by saying to myself - don't be stupid Sandi. As someone else said in this tread - this won't end well. I don't really understand, but for me there is something about the thrill of the possibility of getting caught that makes me push things to the limit. A few times out of the many, I did get caught and it went quite badly - mostly with me having to say I am sorry, over and over again. That is why I have pretty much gone into complete hiding with dressing. A side note - I have always had naturally large boobs for a man. It used to drive me nuts that my wife would always grab and shake my boobs. This went on for years.
One night, I went to bed with one of her open cup lingerie bras on. When she reached up to give me a squeeze and felt the bra, I landed in dog house - again. The only side benefit was that completely cured her of shaking my boobs. So in this case there was a side benefit of getting busted. Sorry, it's kind of off topic, but I thought you might find it funny. I even went so far as to go to the drug store fully dressed from neck down one morning while she was asleep. Talk about a dumb thing to do. How was I going to get back into the house unnoticed if she had awakened for any reason? That was very risky but exciting. Anyhow, I would avoid doing it under her nose or you will get hurt like I have.

Sandi

The constant sneaking NOT the dressing was what finally caused me to bail on my marriage several years ago .
The dishonesty grew and grew he would THINK he was getting away with something then it progressed to where I found pics of him dressed in a motel room , and he doesn't go on business trips and I sure wasn't there . Men calling the house for him and he would lie lie lie . I could not trust him at all , he could not be straight with me if his life depended in it .

Its the deception and the lying that is what women hate more than the act of dressing.
At least that is what a few women have told me.
Reverse the situation how would you feel if your wife was sneaking around dressing as a man?

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Originally Posted by abby054

This will not end well. Both the quick change artist of Post#1 and the early morning stuff of Post #2. Both are good ways to change DADT into strong, outspoken opposition. The reason for separate bedrooms will change from snoring to her loathing of cross dressing. Trust me, I know this from experience.

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Not everyone's experience is the same. My wife just does not want to see it. She encouraged me to join a support group. I looked. None was to be found in my area. She has found some garments I had not put away and she placed them so visitors would not see them: panty and bra. She has also found in the sink my pseudo breast forms; water balloons. As I have stated many times on this forum I do not do any body modifications or rub any of my cross dressing in her face. And, once upon a time my wife and I did shop together for lingerie and hosiery for myself. She has even offered me some of her discards before she donated them to a charity store.

I think there is a big difference between a wife totally loathing anything concerning her husband wearing women's attire, and, rubbing it in her face. I remember Dutchess's postings from years ago. Yes, a husband's adventures can go way too far and cross that "line in the sand."

I realize there is always this undercurrent of honesty in a relationship. If a wife is so adamant and loathes her husband's needs/desires it can become so restrictive that the relationship will be doomed. I have stated many times before, if a wife does not want anything to do with her husband's cross dressing does the husband announce to her everything he buys? "Hey, honey, do you want to see the pretty panties I bought today?" That's the nature of DADT. Sone DADT relationships incorporate more activity than others.

Regarding the quick change, I know personally it gets old. My wife is fine with me dressing at home, and at work, but doesn't want me to do it in front of my kid's peers. One day I had to change 17 times for kids getting on the bus, appointments, errands, getting kids off the bus, etc. I realized that changing a lot in one day made me more irritable. It made me want to push limits so I could avoid a change. For me it isn't worth it on days where I know lots of male mode is required to try to wear fem cloths.

Hi Asew, I can see where frequent quick changes would get old, and raise stress levels. This is my first time trying going back and forth several times in a day. I don’t think this will be a regular thing, most of the time when she is home I can’t count on having enough time to change.

To follow up on the general discussion of honesty and deception, this depends greatly on how well you communicate and any boundaries that have been set. For me one boundary is not going out dressed. Crossing that boundary would be a violation of trust. However my wife could find my women’s clothing if she searched my dresser or some boxes that are clearly mine. There is nothing dishonest about that, she knows about my crossdressing, even though she doesn’t know all of the things I have. Her desire to not talk about it overrides any obligation to tell her what I own.