If there were X-box achievements for presenting as female
For those who don't know,
Many computer and console games have things called "achievements." These are things like beating a certain level, dying in the game under specific circumstances, in other words "earning your stripes" in playing the game, or getting the full experience of everything the game has to offer. Essentially a game specific version of being told "you know you're a true _____ when you've had _____ happen." Usually it has a clever or snarky title like
"Cooking the books" :
Defeat all enemies in the library level using only the flamethrower.
I thought to myself, "what if we had these for our journey in expressing our feminine selves?" These are what I came up with:
1.)These boots were made for walking:
Wear out soles of first pair of women's shoes
2.)Well-heeled:
Wear out soles on fifth pair of women's shoes
3.)Secret handshake:
Meet another gender-variant person, read each other, silently acknowledge
4.)A swing and a miss!:
Have an antagonistic stranger insult your vagina (must not have vagina for this achievement)
5.)To the rescue!:
Have something useful on hand (makeup, article of clothing) for female friend's emergency
6.)Lips stick:
Spend all day pulling your hair out of your lip gloss
7.)Postcard from Richard:
Receive first d--k pic
8.)Achilles' fate:
Break a heel while in public
9.)Run for your money:
Have a pair of tights or hose rip the first time you put them on.
10.)Drama queen:
Do any sort of stage performance as a woman
11.)Full Metal Jackass:
Have someone punctuate their statement to you with a loud 'SIR!'
12.)Thundercats, HOOO!!:
Recieve first cat-call
13.)Um... thanks?:
Get called first femme-gendered insult (c-nt, b-tch, *****, etc.)
14.)Make a lasting impression:
Endure first painful bra shoulder-strap indentation
15.)Slow learner:
Choose very uncomfortable shoes, regret decision, wear shoes again later
16.)Between you and me:
Be in either form, hear someone talking about the "other" you
17.)Fall of Icarus:
Put on eyeliner, f--k the wings up.
18.)5 o'clock shadow:
Go about whole day wearing remnants of last night's eye makeup
19.)Material Girl:
Wear an article of clothing you made
20.)M.A.C. Daddy:
Shop for makeup while presenting as male
21.)A rash decision:
Hastily shave legs, spend next couple days in agony
