Hi Everyone,
A big change has come into my life. My wife of 8 years & I are getting a divorce, it was a mutual decision and we are parting as friends.
There are many reasons why our relationship is over, and honestly one of the reasons is that I’m a cross dresser. I came out to my wife over two years ago when I realized that cross dressing was something more than an occasional hobby to me; thanks to the support of this community for all the help and advice I received on the pros and cons of coming out to a spouse; I was at least somewhat prepared to face the inevitable.
She has never seen me dressed, but she was completely closed to the concept and has proved over time that she could never learn to accept it. I had to hide everything about my CDing from her, which was very difficult for me, and I felt guilty and bad for dressing behind her back. This just wasn't going to work for me long term, I was miserable and depressed about it, and there was nothing I could do to fix it. No matter how patient I was; no matter how much I tried to educate her about it, nothing worked and our relationship dissolved slowly over the past two years. It’s sad in a way, that we couldn’t work things out because I really did try everything I could, but eventually I had to realize that she wasn’t going to change and I wasn’t willing to give up cross dressing and she wasn’t willing to compromise at all.
I will point out that I didn’t tell her about my CDing before we were married. Although this is true, at the time we started dating, I purged my stuff, and I whole-heartily through myself into our relationship thinking that I was done with cross dressing for good since I now had a partner I could dress up and enjoy instead. Over a period of years I realized that she wasn’t into wearing lingerie and around that time is when I started to dress again and slowly built a new wardrobe to satisfy my feminine urges.
Being a cross dresser in our society is not an easy road to travel; it can dramatically alter your life circumstances, either over time or all at once.
My life has definitely changed over time, but I am happy to say that the conclusion of my relationship is for the best. If we can’t be happy together, I would prefer us to be happy apart. I don’t think it's right to stay in a relationship that is not working for either spouse. Our marriage was turning into a life sentence, reduced to a routine devoid of connection and intimacy. I though it was better to end things mutually while we could still part as friends, rather than wait until a major event came along that would add additional stress and drama to the decision. It was obvious to us both that counseling could not fix the fundamental differences between us. Partly I think we grew apart and partly we weren’t that compatible from the start, but it’s hard to figure this all out at the beginning of a relationship when your vision is colored by love and infatuation. We had many great years together and that’s what I will choose to remember.
“One door has closed; and another doorway awaits…”
Ultimately, I feel that I can now begin to be true to myself more instead of hiding out of a closet. In the past few weeks since she moved out, I have felt like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, even though I face an entirely new set of challenges in my life as I move forward.
Can anyone relate to my circumstances? Would anyone like to share their thoughts? Thanks girls! :love:
