And just like that, the urge is back

Hi all -

Like many of you I am sure, my desire to dress comes and goes. Lately it’s been gone. I’m actually okay when it is gone, I prefer it goes away from time to time. (And yes, sometimes I wish it would go permanently away)

All that said- yesterday my wife and I were folding laundry when she said “Wow, I didn’t realize how many dresses I wore to work this week.” She followed by jokingly saying “Or maybe you were wearing some of my dresses!”

First off - instantly so jealous of her “so many dresses” observation. Anyway, I made a joke that I needed something nice to wear to the office this week. I also thought it’d be an opportune time to actually take one of her dresses and “jokingly” put one on (I didn’t.)

But just like that, my desire is back!

Does anyone else have any “trigger” stories that brought your desire back?

Now I just need to figure out a way to start dressing again.

Anybody recommend any good makeover services in NYC area? (Or, by any chance Charlotte, where I occasionally go for work?)

-Stephanie

I think many of us experience highs and lows in our desire to dress. Many purge during the lows and regret it later. Best just to take each day as it comes. Recently I had a long standing evening out booked to go dressed to a summer outdoor theatre. New dress bought specially and yet in the days leading up if the event had been cancelled I wouldn’t have been sorry. When the day arrived I got ready and by the time I had finished my make up and dressed I was fully enthusiastic about it again and had a lovely evening wearing my new summer dress and outfit. I am only happy dressed fully with every detail of make up sorted so the time taken means I only do this when I have at least half a day spare. This is probably a disincentive to dressing some times.

I have purged twice; the last time two years ago. I told myself that it was all over, the desire was gone. But I was only kidding myself. This is something that internal and integral to all of us. After I let the guilt of dressing go; which I believe is the root of our purging, I find myself even more willing to express my feminine side. Unencumbered by guilt; at least I hope I am lol, I find my feminine side become stronger.

Triggers are hidden everywhere. You rarely see them, but if one goes off a pause in your "hobby" (often it is anything but a hobby), vanishes within minutes as your brain switches to the other mode. It is likely built in to you. I can be triggered by seeing a woman on TV with a particular hair style or seeing one in real life. Every time I see the pharmacist assistant at the pharmacy something in me goes pop and that evening I go femme, if not earlier. Her hair style is the perfect trigger. Not a common style and kind of a 1960's bob or pixie. It is like a bomb going off. It is not an illness that this happens, not a defect, it is just the way you are.

SDress22, I always want to dress, not always acting on the desire. However, sometimes there is a trigger that just makes it too hard not to dress.

Like Gretchen said, triggers are hidden everywhere. It could be as simple as seeing a beautiful woman or walking near Macy’s lingerie section that can get me. Sometimes it’s an email from Soma or another similar company. Seeing a woman with beautiful nails is another trigger.
Who really knows as it will be different for all of us but they are out there.

I am totally on board with what both Gretchen and Crissy said. The triggers are everywhere and it's probably easier to make a list of the things that suppress my desire to dress. Although that would be a short list.

With me, the morning sun could be a “trigger”....time to dress. Be patient, the urge will return..guaranteed.

I agree with the posts about triggers. Seeing ladies dressed up in summer clothes would be a trigger for me. I recall the days in my youth envying the fabulous impractical clothes and shoes at events such as weddings and wishing I could be like them. Now I can and if ever the urge fades the sight of a beautiful woman walking down the street in high heels and dolled up makes me realise how lucky I am to have all my own clothes and accessories to be able to do the same.

I can go months without dressing. Then out of the blue Kendra comes calling. I wish I could pass

Pretty regular dresser these days. There have, off course, been lengthy periods of not dressing, ie months, now and again. Dressing is not something hat you could do, on a Royal navy warship, in he 1980's. But the desire has always been there. It was only circumstances that stopped me.

Watching a women changing into a dress in a movie or TV show is an automatic trigger !

Older movies always seemed to have at least one scene with a gal walking around in a full slip !

for me it has never goes away. And I'm god with that. :hugs:
Angie

Off topic a bit. I've never had a trigger per say. The desire is always there. I liken it to the imaginery characters from "A Beautiful Mind". There have been extended periods when I don't dress but, I always want to. There are times when I want to indulge myself and physically transform. Life gets busy and time doesn't allow it. Mentally and emotionally I'm always "dressed to the nines"...always.

I try to liken it to the fact that sometimes I'm more in the mood for some types of music than others. Or I want to play this game not that. CDing can be the same but I think the fact that it appears such a binary choice is what makes it seem so much more stark (and indeed circumstances can make it that stark a choice). But often I find I can get by, so to speak, with some femme jewellery or just underdressing, whatever.
I seldom feel the need to go full femme just as I seldom, if ever, feel the need to go fully masculine. No-one questions my women's jeans or sneaks and that's OK with me.

Thanks all - yeah, I get that the desire probably never “truly” goes away and is always somewhere in there. That said, I spent part of today pretty excited about trying the new...men’s collared shirt I bought on Friday. So yeah, the femme urge isn’t always there for me, and my interests can certainly go in different directions.

If you get dressed because you had plans made previously to go out but otherwise wouldn’t have bothered you may find the urge comes back as you are dressing. If you go out dressed and it still feels wrong maybe you could be losing the urge. However it could come back. We are all individuals and just need to do what is right for us. Would you want the urge to disappear? Perhaps that’s a big factor.

I confided in a friend about my cross dressing habits. she ends up telling another friend of mine who couldn't wait to tell me next time I seen her . I was so angry and embarrassed I haven't dressed since and don't know if I will again . I feel so ashamed and betrayed and that was two months ago .

That is my biggest fear. I don’t know who I could really tell.

Yeah I wont be telling anyone again that's for sure ! Hopefully the urge will comeback to dress