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My greatest wish as far as crossdressing is concerned is to go out in public (presenting as a woman) with my wife. A day on the town, sightseeing, shopping, dining, whatever. So far, this hasn't happened and I don't know how to make it happen.
If this is something you do or have done, if you don't mind, please respond with how you made it happen, where you went, what you did, etc. Also, do you think you "pass" and what were people's reactions, if any.
Thanks. :battingeyelashes:
Just make it fun for both of you. Don't dwell on being a CDer out with your wife, do the same things that you would do together if you weren't CDed. Don't worry about passing, most people will just ignore you anyway.
We have gone to some dances that nearby hotel hosts, mall shopping, visited the art museum, went to concerts, movies, and restaurants. Some GG's enjoy drag shows but again, make sure the focus is on you as a couple, not YOU as a CDer.
Things to avoid unless your wife suggests it are: don't shop for underwear, don't ask her to take pictures of you in public unless it's her idea, don't pull out a mirror and check your makeup in public, and don't talk in a fake/squeaky voice.
It doesn't have to be an planned, expensive day. Just find some things that you both enjoy and do it.
We are usually away from our home town and I just put on a skirt or dress and makeup for the activities planned (shopping or sightseeing) without making too big a deal of it
I asked my wife to take me out dressed afterdark and a walk down the seafront, I convinced her if was low risk, we did do and it worked fine, then did finally did go to the garden centre one afternoon, but she doesnt like going out in public with me, its not for her, but she allows me to go and stay away from home for a night or two, so I can go out shopping and clubbing in Blackpool, just been this weekend actually.
Krisi, I am with you.
My wife and I have gone out together several times while I was dressed. She is very protective of me and watches everyone else closely so she notices their reaction more than I do. Never had a problem and most everyone just treats me as though I am as I present, a few times she has mentioned that someone was checking me out more closely so No I don't pass on close inspection and my voice is always a give away. I do find that I get less nasty looks when presenting as a woman than shopping the woman's department in drab though. The sales staff everywhere we've gone is always professional and never made a off handed remark, at least while we was there.
From my experience my advice is to go by yourself to get to the point you are not as nervous.
Unless your wife is into it like I was . Sherlyn was terrified at first and there were times she got so worked up it just was not fun . That was only in the beginning thank goodness. I had to prove to her no one would recognize her . We went to a park where her entire family was ( we were newly dating and not met me as yet ) no one not even her mom and brother recognized her and we walked right by them . Not even a glance . I also had her dress appropriately for the event and no short skirts and heels unless at a club. ( she loved her short skirts )
Then it was just our life and not a big deal . We went everywhere and anywhere.
I agree with Char do things you both like . So unless your wife is all aboard for the scary , nervous, mind over matter beginning of going out . Do some things first to get over that then enjoy life together.
ADD you might have already went out and about on your own and do not have the first time issues / if that applies ask her where would she would like to go .
If she is known a lot in town ( small town) ect she might want to go away for a first time outing . Best Wishes
I've done it many times with my wife.
How did I get her to agree the first time? Lots and lots of conversation.
When we finally went out I felt the deer in the headlights till I realized people were so busy with their own things they cared little about me.
Broach the subject with your wife and if you want to do it go out for Halloween. No one will care.
If you are worried about friends/neighbors maybe seeing you then go somewhere like 25 miles away. Find a mall that you've never been to and ask her to do this with you for Halloween. She can go in costume if she likes and it will make it all that much easier.
I did it once and simply expressed that I was interested in doing it. She was on board, mostly because almost nobody knows her in our area ( she?s pretty introverted). I however, had the realization that lots of people in the area know me. I chicken out of the first pub we went to, then we ended up at Outback a few towns over. Nobody( that I saw) gawked, mocked, or pointed or laughed at me. My wife ordered a drink for she and I, and we went home. I have not gone out dressed and makeup/ wig since , but swear I want to.
I've done it a couple times. My wife tolerates it, that's about all. Some shopping, dinner, and a show. Girls night out.
I didn’t “make” it happen. It just happened when my wife was finally comfortable going out with me dressed like that.
With Kat my out fiance we just did whatever we needed to do that day . The grocery store the drugstore , maybe a movie , the barn where I keep my horses , whatever .. S/he did not wear any padding but did have natural , waist length THICK glam hair and just minimal make up , very minimal , mainly eyes . Did s/he pass , no but Kat dd not care , s/he was over 6 '4" and very slender so no and that super long hair. He was glam and elegant as a male and that carried over alot . We would engage in massive PDAs lol and no adults cared , we would have some young people who might comment but he was so confident that I felt safe with him no matter how he was dressed . Kat would wear California casual , a modest top and a long skirt , flats and a purse .
Even some years after Kats death I still look for him in Target and Nordstroms ...
Just live regular life
My wife is so much onboard that she tells me if I want to dress out of the house she will support me. I have worn skinny jeans and stiletto heel knee boots out of the house, but other then the walk out to my pickup. I never got out and walked any where. We stopped and got some fast food and drove around.
I am not really ready to go fully dressed, but toss around the idea of wearing heels, skinny jeans and a nice men's shirt then going out to eat to a nice restaurant. More of an androgynous look.
Going out together was 100% my wife’s doing. When my wife and I started dating, I told her early on that I was a crossdresser and it was a big part of my life. I’ve told this story before but she really didn’t know anything about crossdressing and seriously considered walking away. But then she did her research and came at me with a lot of questions. Never really looked back.
I remember the first time getting glammed up with her and being sooo darn nervous to go into this one crowded popular club. She saw my anxiety and I’ll never forget, took my hand and lead me in straight to the middle of the dance floor. She is very beautiful and an amazing dancer so she definitely attracts attention. Well, she danced with me like I was the only person there and introduced me to people we met as “this is my wife..” She totally owned it and made me feel so accepted.
My part was to be 100% honest with her and treat her like the queen she is. She deserves my all for the way she makes me feel and we really do have an amazing marriage that we never take for granted.
Me and my GG go for walks at state parks or local high school...Walking burns calories etc... I wear yoga pants, nice colored sneakers with a pink Nike jacket.Quote:
if you don't mind, please respond with how you made it happen, where you went, what you did, etc
Thanks everybody, keep them coming.
I have been out a half dozen or more times by myself but my wife doesn't know about it (she was out of town) so I'm not all that nervous about it. I would go to a different city about a hundred miles away because my wife knows a lot of people around here.
The problem is approaching her about doing it and convincing her to do it. I know I have to ask, it's just figuring out when and how to ask. I'm afraid if she says "no" the first time, that will be her final answer.
Lux if I can say this here.... You are the man.... This is a complement that men give each other, honest.
I love the way you and your wife live. I am jealous.
Natalie
Natalie,
Loved your compliment, thank you! :D
Just want to remind folks that while my current wife is amazing, my ex wife wasn’t so accepting. Initial acceptance became tolerance, became DADT and finally became quit or else.
I luckily chose “or else”. Lol
The comment about no one noticing is like 90 to 95 percent accurate. I went out alone before my wife and I went out together. Honestly I don't remember whose idea it was to go out as two gals the first time. I own practically no male clothing and dress in fem 24/7 in the house and all female out although some fem clothing is well kinda off gender neutral. So I fornatuate it just works for us. It didn't happen overnight but it works for us.
Just did it last night. Wife is into a game that requires her to travel around. She encourages me to dress up and take her. I?d rather I drive so she isn?t while distracted. She always comments on how stupid she feels playing a game and I laugh and ask if she?s looked at her husband! I usually make it a point to pump some gas and maybe take a little stroll somewhere along the way but nothing too public yet. If my makeup skills improve I know it?ll happen.
My wife and I went out many times with me dressed as her girlfriend before she passed away recently. Like Jolene's wife she was very protective of me when out enfemme.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jolene Robertson
Kristi, I would suggest finding something that the wife enjoys and maybe you could possibly go to dressed. If she is having a good time then it will make things so much easier. My wife really loves techno music/concerts and dancing. The first time we went out together dressed, it was a techno concert in Atlanta right around Halloween a few years ago. We both dressed up in costumes( I did Alice in wonderland) and we both had a blast. There were probably 1500-2000 people there and everyone loved my costume. So now we make it a yearly thing to go to a Halloween concert or event,either in Atlanta or Vegas.
This is a subject close to my heart tight now.
After 2 failed attempts due to covid isolation. Me and my gf are heading to Blackpool tonight. Going to have a nice walk around and see how it goes.
All her idea and at her comfort level. Thought best to go 50 miles away for this 1st full outing then risk of being recognised is slim.
Been out twice with wife.
First time it was a botanic garden on a working day with few other visitors, it was okay (I had more fun than wife).
Second time was a crowded McDonalds and my wife noticed people looking at her (being with a crossdresser) and felt like she was onstage being judged (she is very much a lady).
So she doesn't go out with Rachel, it's not what she's into and that's okay
Glad to hear your plans about going away from the house.Quote:
Originally Posted by Krisi
So my advice just mention that it is a wish you have, tel her you would go about a hundred miles away then ask her to think about it then drop it . Let it be her decision as there really is no convincing . Twisting her arm on it will back fire and her going reluctantly would not be fun in long run would it? So put the ball in her court and see what happens is my advice. If it is not her thing then that is ok too.
Tagging on DI's comment. What's in it for her? Pick out some place 100 to 200 miles away for an overnight and suggest at least 2 alternatives.
Just saying..
Kris, I have been out with my wife. She goes with me all the time.
My first experience on it was kind of 3 or more years ago.
I know your feelings about sharing this experience with your wife but you must understand that your wife, for perfect and passable you can be, your wife still seeing you as a dressed man.
It takes so long so she can perceive you as a woman and feel comfortable with you going out.
About passing, this is something interesting about cds, you think you're passable, nice people ere (I disagree with that dishonest attitude) compliment you based in a pic and tell you are amazing and passable but you are not. So for your wife going out can be an embarrassing situation.
Today I can see pics of that first time and now, I the one that feel embarrased and feel sorry for her.
One year later I fulfilled my dream on traveling with her. I haven't improves my presentation but it was helpful for her to see people's reaction that wasn't so negative.
That was the point to star full.time as a woman.
After all this years if learned more about the simplicity of make up (of course now, after 2 years on electrolysis, I don't have yo wear beard concealer and.tons of make up) and I learn about different situations for dressing.
Now we are just two women in anybsiyuation and people sees us like that and all the time they call us "ladies"
For that first time I recommend you ask your wife about make up and dressing so you involve her in your plan and she will feel more confident with you ok for the situation.
It's pretty obvious that this is not going to happen unless I ask her. My fear is that she will say "No" and that will be the end of it. If I don't ask, there is still the possibility that it might happen.
The trick then is to choose the right time and place to ask her.
My wife and I have gone to the malls, movies, and museum. I google LBGTQ friendly restaurant that makes her feel better which is always a good thing.
Kristin have you thought about dressing and going out near or on Halloween? There’s a lot more license then.
My ex-wife and I went first went to private Halloween parties, a TG-friendly club, and to “straight” clubs on Halloween weekend. We tried to go to dinner after Halloween a few times but I was too nervous, so we went to a movie or just walked around.
The danger in going out at times other than Halloween is that many women come to believe you want to transition and this can create relationship problems. So it can be safer to go out at times when it’s “just a costume.”
I am about to experience this for the first time. I will be out in public in Las Vegas for Halloween. It has been 18 total brutal years to get to this point.
krisi:
As a happily married man who has an unbelievably supportive, participating wife, who frequently venture out in public as two "girlfriends", I thought you might enjoy reading of our journey and experiences. So, here are a few thoughts about what works for us.
1. Never, ever forget who the real woman is in your relationship and never, ever forget to meet her needs as you work toward achieving your dream of presenting as two women in public. Men and women have different needs. Your success in meeting the needs of the woman in your life may well impact on her willingness to meet your needs to be feminine occasionally.
2. My wife and I discussed how to reply to your questions. He immediate statement was, "Pass up passing...not likely." She added, "Focus on "blending", which is achievable and more likely.
3. The key to success is based on your patience and ability to communicate honestly with your wife about making your fantasy come true, for her to accompany you in public. The more patient you are, the more likely she may agree.
4. Take it slow. Avoid pressuring her. Allow your wife to suggest outings that align with her comfort level. Our first experiences in being out in public together as two women was merely driving around at night without ever getting out of the car. Over the years, it progressed as our confidence and comfort increased. Now, we go out in public regularly to shop, visit malls, dine in nice restaurants, go to the movies, attend concerts, etc, etc. We even take vacations where I remain in girl-mode the entire trip. Talk about fun!!!
Since your post expressed such an interest in having your wife join you for public outings, feel free for you or your wife to PM me, or us, with any questions you might have. We are both very much in to sharing our experiences.
Good luck.
Thanks, Teresa.