Ugh. Got caught.

I'm a casual CD who does so primarily in private, but occasionally I go out with female clothes on underneath my normal clothes. This past Friday I noticed that my roommate's very attractive fiancée left some lingerie out in his room (they left the door open). They were heading out of town that day to go to a wedding. I noticed in the evening and decided to try her outfit on (I have a petite frame so it fit great). I went downstairs in the outfit and right when I got down there I heard a car door shut in front of my house. I went to the front window to look and right then I heard my door open. I ran to the bathroom to hide, but I didn't quite make it. My roommate's fiancée came around the corner just as I neared the bathroom and as I brushed past her she said "What are you doing!" I told her not to worry about it as I jumped in the bathroom. She went upstairs and I stayed in the bathroom for a bit. I came out and ran into my room to change and freak out. I don't know exactly how much she actually saw, but she may have noticed that her lingerie was missing from the room when she went in. My roommate came home a couple minutes later and they packed. I came out and tried to pretend like nothing happened, but when I saw his fiancée, she immediately looked me up and down but didn't say anything. They left and I put the outfit back and pretty much freaked out all weekend; losing sleep and just being extremely embarrassed.

They came home on Sunday and we didn't really talk before she left. The past 2 days they have been absent from the house, which is abnormal because they always are around the house together. I fear that she saw me and noticed that her outfit was missing and probably told my roommate. The other factor in this is that my roommate's fiancée also happens to be my long-time girlfriend's sister. So it is also possible that she could tell my girlfriend and things really could blow up, but I don't think she has yet.

I used to fantasize about getting caught, but the actual event has been nerve-wracking to say the least. I don't know where this will go or how it will turn out, but I'm pretty freaked out about it right now.

Well like everyone on here always say, buy your own clothes. I suspect they are trying to figure how to bring it up. Yes you are busted. You know when the rock slide begins it doesn't stop till the bottom. Sorry.

Well,you should be!And you have no one to blame but yourself! Leave other people's stuff alone.Best of luck,you'll need it.

oh wow. it's probably better to break up now if ur gf was never going to accept it anyway. all i can say is good luck and let us know how it turns out ; )

whoa! this is going to be tricky, I have nothing! Nada!, I usually can find some way out, but this one, sorry good luck Jenni

I've had many a close call between "borrowing" outfits and even just dressing at home around my parents or siblings. Eventually, I learned that if I know everyone will be gone for some part of the day, I found out exactly when they planned to leave and come back, and would wait at least 20 minutes before taking out my "things" to make absolutely sure they hadn't forgotten something and had to turn back.

You should talk to her ASAP. If you initiate the conversation by apologising profusely for using her stuff at least it will show you are sorry for it, but if she is the one to bring it up it could make you look like you were hoping you would get away with it - and thus might do it again.

I'm guessing you have some laundry to do. Be careful washing it and follow the instructions carefully.

The British way is to pretend like nothing happened, but you could try convincing your room-mate that his bride-to-be takes huge quantities of LSD maybe and hallucinated the whole thing, but that's probably a non-starter. You could tell them you woke up in the bathroom after having the strangest dream.

Nope, don't think that would cut the mustard so maybe you might be able to use the mustard elsewhere because you're going to be eating a particuarly unsavoury type of sandwich.....

I see you are new. Perhaps you should have considered the name "buycurguy". Mixes better with the longtime gf thing and the ramifications of getting yourself caught. As has been said, buy your own stuff.

Sorry bicurguy321, you are not gonna get much support or sympathy on this one. In the first place, you violated a woman's privacy by trying on her clothes. Not just any woman, but the fiancée of your roommate.... Top it all off, she is your girlfriend's sister!

It's one thing for a young boy trying on his mother or sister's clothes, but wearing someone else's clothes without asking is about as wrong as it can be. You are old enough to buy your own clothes and lingerie...you are an adult! I wonder how you'd like your private things taken and used without permission.

Be lucky if your roommate does not beat the daylights out of you and throw you out or leave over this.
You may, in the end lose a roommate, he is also a friend I assume, a girlfriend, and friendship of his future bride. Not to mention the trust and respect any of them will have in you. I would not want to be you right now.
I don't care how good a friend a guy is, if I found out he was wearing clothes or lingerie of my SO, we would be done as roommates and friends. That is if he was lucky to get away without having his butt kicked!

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Originally Posted by Melissa Stone

You should talk to her ASAP. If you initiate the conversation by apologising profusely for using her stuff at least it will show you are sorry for it, but if she is the one to bring it up it could make you look like you were hoping you would get away with it - and thus might do it again.

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U mite say u saw the nity and just wondered if it would FIT U! :brolleyes:
And, offer to pay her for another one if it bothers her!:straightface:

Shame on you! Getting caught in your own things is one thing, but getting caught in things you borrowed and I'm using the word BORROWED VERY LOOSELY is WOW! OUCH!

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Originally Posted by Melissa Stone

You should talk to her ASAP. If you initiate the conversation by apologising profusely for using her stuff at least it will show you are sorry for it, but if she is the one to bring it up it could make you look like you were hoping you would get away with it - and thus might do it again.

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This about the best advice in what is a very bad situation.

Fact is most women will view your actions as an invasion of her privacy. Wearing her intimates (lingerie) is crossing the line and chances are she even feels violated. You do need to talk to her alone asap. Don't expect to come out of the meeting unscathed. You are busted and you need to be pleading for mercy.

Good luck.

I highly recommend buying your own stuff (as others have repeatedly said.) The embarrassment at the store checkout is by far less than what you experienced, and from a moral/ethical standpoint, I don't feel it's appropriate to be "borrowing" other people's clothes.

Yea....it just may be that your best bet is buy her some replacement lingerie and apologize for taking hers...

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Originally Posted by JosieCD

Yea....it just may be that your best bet is buy her some replacement lingerie and apologize for taking hers...

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I don't think one invasion is gonna be fixed by another Josie. I am still looking at this from the point of view of her fiancée. I'd be spitting mad once I found out he wore my sweetheart's lingerie and touched something only meant for my eyes and my fiancées body . I'd be just as mad if he bought her personal lingerie! Just give her and/or her fiancée more then enough for her or her fiancée to go buy replacements.
I would not want to see my SO in something of hers once it is worn by a man! YUK! And I don't want some other guy buying her lingerie either. He'd be digging a deeper hole to crawl into with me. And I know my SO would never want to wear those things again once worn by someone else.

What you did was wrong! On many levels... entered your roommates room, stole their guests stuff,... returned it used... and you did it on what was a special occasion for them... You must appologise and you have lost their trust... you will never get it back. It gives all CDers a bad name...you should feel ashamed.

Shame on you!

I hope for your sake that it all blows over, but this should be a lesson to you in pilfering clothing that simply doesn't belong to you.

Get your own clothes. And tell her you're sorry.

As uncomfortable as that may be, you owe it to her, and to yourself. You need to display what you're made of, and there's no worming your way around it. Be a bigger person, make it right, and NEVER do it again.

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Originally Posted by BRANDYJ

I don't think one invasion is gonna be fixed by another Josie. I am still looking at this from the point of view of her fiancée. I'd be spitting mad once I found out he wore my sweetheart's lingerie and touched something only meant for my eyes and my fiancées body . I'd be just as mad if he bought her personal lingerie! Just give her and/or her fiancée more then enough for her or her fiancée to go buy replacements.
I would not want to see my SO in something of hers once it is worn by a man! YUK! And I don't want some other guy buying her lingerie either. He'd be digging a deeper hole to crawl into with me. And I know my SO would never want to wear those things again once worn by someone else.

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Well, I guess I was going for "apology plus some gesture towards making amends"......but maybe you have a point, her fiancee may not want anything to do with lingerie purchased by the person who took her original articles...

Welcome to the club of cd'ers who got caught. We have all had this happen at some point. I guess the main thing to remember is to buy your own stuff and own it. If it comes up, then admit that you are a cd'er. It will go much easier for you.

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Originally Posted by Chickhe

What you did was wrong! On many levels... entered your roommates room, stole their guests stuff,... returned it used... and you did it on what was a special occasion for them... You must appologise and you have lost their trust... you will never get it back. It gives all CDers a bad name...you should feel ashamed.

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To quote Walter Sobchak, what you did was "OVER THE LINE!!!!!!!" I'm sorry, you were WAY over the line

Have to say, a great "attention-getting" 1st post!........:eek: Not much I can add to what has been said.

Hopefully, your future postings will be a tad.....merrier......:D

I'm with Josiecd, with a slight twist.

Replace the articles with Money [ and those are not cheap !] so she can buy her own.

I hope you learned your lesson. My H and I would feel so violated , like when you've been burgled.
Presh GG

I can't believe this, everyone is casting stones to this poor guy, you made a mistake, is not the end of the world, who hasn't "borrowed" someone else's panties,bras, etc..? I have, and I'm not sorry....


Love,Ericka

Have to agree on this one too. WAY over the line. You've probably cost yourself a friend, and a long time girlfriend in the process. The best thing to do now is appoligize.

Wow.. what a bunch of upstanding people we have here on this forum whom never made any mistakes or done any wrong in their lives.... Ya'll should be calling the Vatican for an application for sainthood. :brolleyes: :devil:

offer to pay her back or buy a new set. i guess it's "ok-ish" getting caught in your sister's or mom's outfits (something i'm all too familiar with...) but another girl's knickers sorry but that's gross lol who knows what she may have...

You know, there's a reason why some of us older crossdressers sometimes come off sounding hypercritical of cders who steal clothes, and this is it. A textbook example of why rules have to be followed. This is about as bad as it gets, and you have a lot of repair work to do.
Starting with talking to your roomates fiancee and trying to explain the situation, and then offering to pay for the items. If she refuses money then perhaps buying her a nice gift would be in order.

Having said that, I really feel for you too. We've all made bonehead plays and yours was world class.
Get to work and fix it.

Hi bicurguy, well you get a medal for making the worst transgression a CD can make. What the costs end up being will be decided by all the affected parties. Good luck turning around a pretty bad situation.

WOW all this negative posting here. This is this members first post here and to get trampled on over and over again by people who have never "borrowed" clothing is laughable....oh by the way...borrowing a sister's or mother's clothing is no less of a transgression. Lets see we have had posts like this before.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...hat-u-tried-on

Funny I didn't see the piling on there.

So are you telling me your moms and sisters are lesser women and do not deserve to have there clothing left alone. Give bicurguy some time to at least read all this and respond.


BUY YOUR OWN, and enough of the negative posting. Give

I have to agree that you need to approach the situation with an apology before they confront you. This will give you some control oover the conversation, at least in the beginning. I would also suggest that you be totally up front with them about your crossdressing history, and totally honest. You need to regain their trust, and you need to convince them that you had no malace. Be prepaired for the conversation, and answer any questions that they have. Listen to what they have to say, and try to understand their point of view, and their feelings. You may not be able to fix this situation in one conversation, if ever, but you need to be try to demonstrate your sincere regrets for your actions and your sincere desire to keep them as friends. But most of all, you need to show them that you care about them by listening and trying to understand what they are saying.

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Originally Posted by Jenni Y

Hi bicurguy, well you get a medal for making the worst transgression a CD can make. What the costs end up being will be decided by all the affected parties. Good luck turning around a pretty bad situation.

WOW all this negative posting here. This is this members first post here and to get trampled on over and over again by people who have never "borrowed" clothing is laughable....oh by the way...borrowing a sister's or mother's clothing is no less of a transgression. Lets see we have had posts like this before.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...hat-u-tried-on

Funny I didn't see the piling on there.

So are you telling me your moms and sisters are lesser women and do not deserve to have there clothing left alone. Give bicurguy some time to at least read all this and respond.


BUY YOUR OWN, and enough of the negative posting. Give

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Yes, it's a transgression to borrow a sister's or mother's clothes by a child. There's a big difference in borrowing clothes from a sister or your mother while you are young and living at home with family, and borrowing someone else's clothes as an adult and they are not family. So yes, I think this transgression is worse.
Not only a transgression of this women, but also a transgression to her fiancée and your roommate.

I think all of us could confess that we "borrowed" something at one time or another that wasn't ours. I used to share my mom's Dolfin shorts and bikinis. When she caught me she had a meltdown. I used to share my sister's things all of the time and when she caught me, she was ok with it, as long as I kept things clean. However, this situation involves someone who probably has no emotional investment in you, and will probably lead to chaos. Take it like a man and get your own stuff from now on.

No sympathy here! I also smell troll! Why didn't he just use his "long term girlfriends" stuff. Troll! Any true CDer would not say I tried on her lingerie, we would say what it was. Troll! "I don't know how much she saw..." My roommate's fiancée came around the corner just as I neared the bathroom and as I brushed past her she said "What are you doing!"..." " A female doesn't need to study you if you run by her wearing her bra and panties, or cami.. FICTION, Troll.!!

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Originally Posted by Sarasometimes

No sympathy here! I also smell troll! Why didn't he just use his "long term girlfriends" stuff. Troll! Any true CDer would not say I tried on her lingerie, we would say what it was. Troll! "I don't know how much she saw..." My roommate's fiancée came around the corner just as I neared the bathroom and as I brushed past her she said "What are you doing!"..." " A female doesn't need to study you if you run by her wearing her bra and panties, or cami.. FICTION, Troll.!!

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Yes, my troll sense was tingling when I first read this which was why my reply wasn't too serious (you have to admit though, pretending you had put on the knickers while sleepwalking then telling everyone it was all a strange dream is a keeper :lol:). So someone, a casual crossdresser, puts on a friend's GF's knickers, gets caught, bang to rights, and the first ting he thinks is "I know! I'll seek out a crossdressing discussion forum and join it just so I can tell people". Yeah, and you need to wear a crash helmwt when walking around these parts to avoid brain damage from the huge number of low-flying pigs..... :lol:

I think you are right...TROLL. Or he would have come back and commented on the posts. You are right Debs, it does sound fishy.

I might be going a little against the grain here but here it goes...

I agree that she should have stayed away from her friends room. I also agree that we have too many hurtful comments going into this thread. "Judge not lest ye be judged." This was a bonehead move but certainly does not rise to the level of sin many have suggested here. We should try to use this as a means of teaching, if possible so that this person who seems to want our help (not necessarily the same as acceptance of this behavior) can learn how not to make all of us look bad through her actions. Most of you have done that by telling her to buy her own stuff. The other stuff added here just makes people feel bad about themselves. I am guessing none of us would want that kind of treatment if we made a mistake.

IMHO, I would consider how close I am to the friend and if very close, come out to him first by explaining who you are and what you do. If not close, this will probably end the relaionship and any discussion about it will more than likely be negative. If you brushed past her then she certainly saw you in her stuff.
Only she knows how she feels about this (and of course whomever she has told) and you will have to make it right by apologizing to her for violating her privacy. If she doesn't throw up in front of you, you should then ask her how you can make it up to her. This will now turn into a trust issue between her and your friend with them thinking every time they leave the house you might be rifling through their stuff looking for her underwear. From that aspect, it may need to be time for a new roommate.

I don't envy your position and I imagine it will be very difficult to have these conversation.s Personally, my old M.O. would be to wait it out until someone mentioned it to me. but that leaves a giant elephant in the room that could foster unwanted tension in the house.

Good luck and let us know how it turns out.

Well let's see here, you took/stole your roomate's attractive fiancee's lingerie, decided to wear her lingerie, she comes home while you were wearing her lingerie and she most likely caught you wearing her lingerie.

Don't you just hate it when that happens???????:raisedeyebrow:

What so many that are posting here are forgetting is how strong the desire is to try on a pretty young womans underwear and clothes when they unexpectantly appear and the opportunity is there. Isn't this how we all got started? Don't be so critical of Bicurguy 321. I think he just took advantage of an opportunity that some of us might have done to. I agree the best thing to do now is have a private conversation with her and if it goes well offer tobuy her some new undies, they were laying out, a spontanious desire to try them on came over you and you just did it, and you're sorry. So don't let this stop you, buy your own and continue dressing; CAREFULLY.

Perhaps you can learn a lesson from this.....................don't wear other people's clothes :( Also underwear is a very personal thing. I think I know how the gf feels seeing you in her stuff when your not her man. It may be time to find another place to live hon.

You haven't replied back to anyone here. What answer are you waiting for? Maybe the answer you're waiting for is the answer you need. What is it? Go with that.

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Originally Posted by RaymondParsley56

You haven't replied back to anyone here. What answer are you waiting for?

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Troll alert! That's cuz the OP is a big fake.

:troll:

The benefit of the doubt goes away when there are no responses to our sage advice.

I should have seen it sooner myself. If I were to "brush by" someone wearing her own lingerie while hurriedly ducking into a bathroom, I highly doubt she'd fail to recognize her own clothing, especially if it were on ME! And why was it laying out when they were planning on leaving for the weekend? The only time women leave clothing out is when they are planning on wearing it or planning something special. But she left without it? She didn't miss it? Sorry, too many "spare me" moments in this story.

your right Ericka2, with the exception, buy entering his roomies room it was like breaking into there home and steeling property, as you say who hasn't pilfered some bras or undies, but from your mom or your sister thats a big difference here, and then we were usually young or in are teens without a way to purchase our own things, age and opportunity BIG DIFFERENCE!!! Jenni

This thread is dead. Enough of the piling on. If the OP wants to make a rebuttal, then it will be in a new thread.