Originally Posted by
Aunt Kelly
"Confused" you certainly must be, and I get the sense of betrayal, but I'd suggest thinking about it a little bit differently. You husband has probably always been this way, so this coming to light now is not really a betrayal, but he has deceived you by hiding this from you. The hurt you're feeling now that the deception has come to light is legitimate and real. Nothing anyone here can say will change that.
The two of you can get past this, but you (both of you) will need to deal with the trust issue. Your husband must take ownership of the deception and the damage that has caused. You must understand that the desire to crossdress is a part of him, and that while he may be able to suppress it, that act of suppression often has undesirable long-term sequelae.
You've already been flooded with opinions and advice. The best of that advice is to seek counseling. Find someone you both can trust to help you develop a better understanding of this thing. It seems that you both love each other, and that's a great place to start the process of understanding. Go find that guide and get back to a happy life. It is possible.