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Trying to put in words.
The handful of times when a woman has recognized that, even when I'm just being "a regular guy" (so I think) and get treated like "one of the girls" or even being called "such a girl", but not in a mean or condescending way.
Meant so much to me. I could'nt admit it, or say it aloud, or passed so quickly, and caught me off guard (or on guard really).
Means so much to me.
It is an emotional experience I wonder if I am expressing well.
Why couldn't you admit it?
You're expressing something. How well is not entirely clear.
Recognized what, exactly?Quote:
Originally Posted by Ingrid1999
And what does it mean to be "treated like one of the girls"?
I'm confused as to why someone would do that, whatever that is.
I understand, yes it is a good feeling.
Good for you.
Thanks.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jean 103
I wish I could express it better.
How can someone passing u quickly treat u as "one of the girls", Ingrid? :straightface:
I've gotten smiles, thumbs up, and comments like, "U go, girl!" from women. But, never felt like one of them because they ALL knew I was a man!:daydreaming:
Or, maybe u meant something else?
I'm a service tech meet new people every day at their homes. It is mostly women that I meet. I get along with everyone but seem to communicate better with women.
As you can imagine I'm a bit girly and I'm dressed as a women would dress, hair in a ponytail. You would have to be there to really get it. The connection I make with some people.
I had a customer light up when she saw it was me this week. It was at one of her rentals, we had met before. I'm very fast at what I do. Years ago some customers complained about their bill, because I was only there for a few minutes. So started talking to the customers to spend a few minutes with them. I do my best to leave them in a good mood. Any way this lady reached out and held my arm . It was as women do with each other. I have had others hug me.
Sometimes you can get a since of who someone is in a few minutes. At least in my case I think they see more female than male. I have had customers use female pronouns and than like catch themselves.
It's like my friends (GGs) know me as Jean and treat me as one of them. I sometimes get the same feeling from women I meet in my guy mode. So no I don't know what they are thinking, they likely just think I'm gay, but they could be as my friends, see me more as a girl.
I have known several effeminate men, and they are usually received much better by women, than by men. I'm not saying that you are effeminate, I do think that the ladies are picking up on your traits and responding in like. A man being a CD'er, or effeminate is too often thought of being gay, which isn't usually true at all.
Not sure exactly what your saying. If they are strangers maybe just the way they are with everyone, if they are people you know may just be they like you.
I have been referred to as ma'am a few times while presenting as male by strangers. But then again I don't go overly masculine in dress most of the time my hair is long and it is useally a quick excuse me ma'am or the like.
I'm almost like one of the girls when I'm out with a group of girls. I say almost because I'm not totally effeminate and I'm not good with some topics that totally female. I've never been called "such a girl" but I've come close to it. I have a few female friends that are platonic.
When I'm out with male friends I come off more like a regular guy but some of my fem thoughts/mannerisms may just pop out unintentionally!
I dont normally act femme when not dressed. Although I do have many women friends then men and they are always so surprised when I am so knowledgeable about women's clothing (bras, panties, pantyhose/tights, heels). When asked why I know so much, I just tell them it comes from the experience of being married for 28 years. But yes, it does feel good to be included as "one of the girls".Quote:
Originally Posted by Ingrid1999
Interesting OP and comments. I do seem to get on better with women overall than guys now that I am out of the merchant marine, and military. I had masculine careers, so lots of male friends. Outside of the military I seem to have more interesting conversations with women than men. I get sick of talking about sports ball, and hot chicks with guys. With men not to many ladies interested in TEOTWAWKI.
With women it is not necessarily specific topics we talk about. It is just chatting in general. When I go to my in laws I have to force to myself to talk with my brother's in laws etc
However, with sisters in law and mother in law I could chat with them all day.
Not all of us want to be 'out'.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracii G
They treat me as if I wasn't there; they speak about things that women don't normally talk about when men are present.Quote:
Originally Posted by Patience
When I've been out somewhere with a group of women, many will treat me as if I'm one of them.Quote:
Originally Posted by docrobbysherry
And then they communicate with us as if we're female, because that's the 'vibe' that they get from us.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jean 103
^this is what I think they feel about me.Quote:
At least in my case I think they see more female than male.
That hasn't happened to me. It's apparent that I'm a male to them, just not a typical male. I believe they suspect that I'm TG, but aren't sure.Quote:
I have had customers use female pronouns and than catch themselves.
None of my female coworkers call me by a female name, but with some regularity, they have mentioned that I seem to not be a typical male. Unfortunately, that is also tagged onto some type of mention that I'm not what most women are looking for, either. It's the routine, 'You're a really nice guy, but not what I'm looking for'. Women want traditionally masculine males, not effeminate guys.Quote:
It's like my friends (GGs) know me as Jean and treat me as one of them.
I'm just not seen as traditionally masculine, and so, don't 'tick off' the qualities that women want in a male mate. Only one time has someone implied that I was 'girly', when she said that they (coworkers, all female) had considered getting me a pair of silk panties for Christmas. Apparently, everyone had noticed that I was behaving in stereotypically female ways at work. I had expressed my problems finding a woman to date, but apparently I was behaving in too much of a feminine manner to be attractive to any of the single women there. Nothing blatant, but obviously not masculine behavior, to them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ressie
I remember sitting with a bunch of friends. All the men had wandered off, leaving me with 'alone' with the women. their talk turned to VERY frank discussion of -um- intimate matters, and the discomfort associated (aching jaw, sore knees, etc.). And this was coming from some a very demure, quiet lady!
When I got a bit embarrassed by hearing all this and say "Hey!" to remind her that I was sitting there, she simply said "Oh, that's OK. You're like one of the girls anyway."
When I get a pedicure with color at my regular salon I am treated like one of the girls, if it is busy, I have idle chit chat with the ladies around me. If it is quiet Traci my nail tech for 5 years will tell me all sorts of things about her personal life. I see other guys getting pedis, no color, and they do not care to interact with anyone and it seems they cannot wait to leave or at least not enjoying themselves.
A couple of years ago I was invited to go to lunch with a group of women I know at the gym before Christmas. When I was asked they said I was one of the girls. I did pass on the lunch, I was busy, no really.
Just last week I was sitting with my wife and two women and someone said I like to talk with everyone, my wife made the observation that it is almost always women. :)
Well, since I am a nurse-a male in a female field, I have heard it all! The ladies treat you like you are one of them and discuss any and everything! It actually felt good that they would do this! Sort of a trust-type thing! Or maybe they all sensed on some level that I was more girl than boy! Don't know but it was nice even before I realized I was trans! Hugs Lana Mae