It's time for me to be who I am rather than who I am supposed to be.
- Thor *Avengers: Endgame*
Sit back. This is a read.
This weekend, I started by feeling kind of low. By the end, it was BIG!
I went to a drag show Saturday night; they are my go-to excuse to dress and walk amongst the muggles. I was planning on going for a while now. By Saturday morning everyone that said would go had backed out leaving me going solo. I was feeling down and started to feel like staying home myself. But, I already had a hair appointment. I didn't want to leave the lady hanging. So I got dressed up, went got my hair done and eventually made it to the show...alone. The show was great as they always are. Later, toward the end of the show, the hostess (we've been Facebook friends for a while) invited me to sit at their table with her boyfriend. I was too shy to move. There were only a couple of performances left anyway.
Afterward, the crowd mingled with the performers. I came across the hostess with her boyfriend and she introduced me and complimented on my look and that I ALWAYS look fabulous. Then she blew me away with THE best compliment ever. She told me that she couldn't clock me! She introduced me to other performers and they commented similarly.
Sunday, I was a little boosted by Saturday night's comments but still a little low. By noon, I had made a HUGE decision. I had drafted a coming out 'manifesto' quite ago that. I have been tweaking it over time. I pasted this along with a selfie from Saturday into Facebook. I stared at the 'post' button for a long time before actually clicking it.
"Click"
Shit!
Delete post?
It's out there. Let's see what happens.
It's "Facebook official" now. My world knows...
The responses were emotionally overwhelming. They were ALL positive and full of encouragement. There was no negativity. What surprised me and some other relatives was the open support from my military brothers.
Below is what I posted with the selfie;
ALL negative responses WILL result in immediate removal and block from my friends list.* I won?t apologize for that #sorrynotsorry* It will say for sure who really IS my friend, and who is not.
Those around me have noticed that I often wear pink clothes and that my fingernails are often painted.* There are times that it is more than that.* More noticeable, my two previous profile pics that split homme and femme presentation.
I am a crossdresser.* I don't consider myself "trans."* There is much debate where we fall. But some say that it is under that "T" umbrella.
I've been doing this for about 10 years, almost exclusively at home.* So I am still the same person most of you know.
Yesterday was my third adventure out "into the wild."
To answer some of the most common first questions;
Do I want to become a woman?
**** No - I am happy with ME. I am accepting this more and more.
Do you have a shot?
**** No - if you are reading this, I probably already know how ****ed up you are.
Am I a drag queen?
**** No ? Nothing against them AT ALL. Drag is more performance centered. I do admire their craft and confidence to be different.
Do I want to be called ma?am?
**** No - however it IS entertaining.* I have been included in a "ladies" remark while in drab.
Do I want to use the ladies restroom?
**** I am really not sure where I'd feel most comfortable.* I don't go out much en femme.* I try to purge my bladder before hand and not drink much so I avoid the situation altogether.
Nothing is going to really change about me.* Maybe you'll see me out differently, maybe you won't; you've been warned.
?So it is Written, So it Shall be Done:?
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