Pushing The Boundaries - How Far Will This Go?

Hi girls,

Wanted to share how my femme side seems to be dominating my life right now. Can anyone relate to the following?

A quick reminder. I came out as Sara in 2003 and have been out as her numerous times. Mainly nights out and also a shopping trip as Sara. The urge to go out as Sara was overwhelming. Well, I've now reached what appears to be the next chapter in my life.

For quite some time now, my male wardrobe has been diminishing and my female attire has been increasing. Let me explain. For the past year, i've been buying more and more female clothing to wear as my male self, 'Alan'. Obviously not skirts or anything that shouts out 'girly'. For example, clothing like ladies' jeans and tops but with no noticeable embroidery or lace etc etc. At first i felt nervous and self-conscious as i didn't know what society would think. No one seems to notice, though.

However, i'm now finding the need to wear girly stuff for work. I've just bought a pair of ladies' black formal trousers which are slightly flared at the bottom and i'd really like to wear them for work on Monday. BUT, i've got that nervous feeling again! All the "if's" and "but's" are going through my mind but at the same time something inside is telling me i have to go for it.

I've recently been going into work with french manicured nails and i wore mascara one day last week so i'm expressing myself more now. People that have read my threads would also have read that i've come out to a few girls at work which i'm sure they've spread to everyone else in the office, too. I've had no adverse reaction from any of them (bless 'em!)

I guess i'm just apprehensive at how far this will all go? Ladies trousers for work now and then the need to wear a ladies shirt/blouse? Where will it all end? I feel as if my life is being dictated right now. I don't mean that in a negative way as i like that i'm expressing my girly side and it makes me happy.

Am i making sense, girls? Hope so. Would like to hear other girls' experiences which mirror mine or are similar, please?

Anyway, enough rambling on from me and i hope to hear from people soon.

Sara xxxx

I feel your pain. I to am in the same boat with you and am pushing the limits in much the same way you are. I haven't bought any male clothes in 2 plus years and don't expect that I will have to any time soon. i have many male clothes if I need them and far fewer female clothes so I think it is high time my fem wardrobe catches up and hopefully passes up the male clothes. I wear fem jeans daily and dont have any male underwear any more. My tennis shoes are womans dept purchased but could easily pass either way. I secretly wish to get "found out" but also wish to not get caught. Good luck with your quest
Sandra Michelle

I feel you ladies too !!!, I have almost no male clothes in my closet , and I hate the very thought of going into the mens depts. , 97% female clothes !!!

Sara, how about doing what makes you happy? If you feel like it, do it! If you start facing negative reactions from your coworkers and it's upsetting you or your mood, lay off or back off a little. I'm sure all will be well.

Sara,
I wish I could contribute something but I am in awe of what you are doing. I mean you are my hero. Talk about Chutzpah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You got it.

The Revolution continues!

Hi Sara,

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Girly Sara

I've been buying more and more female clothing to wear as my male self..... Obviously not skirts or anything that shouts out 'girly'. For example, clothing like ladies' jeans and tops but with no noticeable embroidery or lace etc etc.

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This is me to a tee, except that I also wear satin trimmed t-shirts and plain colored women's classic high buttoning cardigans too, which do shout "girly" a little bit more.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Girly Sara

I've recently been going into work with french manicured nails and i wore mascara one day last week so i'm expressing myself more now.

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Unfortunately this isn't me (at the moment) and so I can't really comment abut any specifics in the work environment.

However, I have found that when I wear the things I said I wear (btw, I also wear eyeliner and mascara too) in public I have never had a negative reaction, just the odd double take or the occasional person look me up and down. I find that women notice what I'm wearing more than men. There have only been two times guys gave me a reaction. The first time I was in JC Pennys (bit like Debenhams) and this black guy gave me this utter look of disgust as if to say "what a poor excuse for a man you are" and the other time was when I was in the supermarket and there was several young dudes blocking the aisle as I walked towards them, when they saw me they all stopped talking and messing around and backed off and moved out to each side of the aisle, letting me walk through the middle of them. There was silence as I walked in front of them and all eyes were on me. I was dressed in fairly girly clothes. I was wearing white tennis shoes with pink accents, skin tight, low rise boot cut girl's jeans, and a slightly fitted yellow scooped necked cotton top with 3/4 length sleeves. My nails were done, I had on my girl's watch, plus earrings, eyeliner and mascara.

These are my only experiences so far. 95% of the time people ignore me. As far as you and your work goes. I guess it's your call but I don't think you interact with customers in person do you? I wouldn't have thought anything bad is likely to happen and as far as progression goes, remember this:

You can't know how much "enough of something is" until you have experienced "too much of it" first. :D

In other words, I think it's ok to keep pushing the envelope, you'll know when it's too much.

Take care
Rachel

Its probobly going to go as far as you feel comfortable. It sounds as if you have an accepting workplace so that could go a long way.

In my current job, I have pushed a bit. I wear medical scrubs in colors and patterns that most men wouldn't dare to try. Also my nails are longer than most of the womens. While I have worn full eye make up at another job, I will not do it here. The gossip I have heard about some of our patients leads me to believe many of my coworkers might not be accepting of it. We are also a Catholic owned hospital. Lastly, as a caregiver I do not want my appearance to detract from my patients comfort, so I do not wish to go overboard.

So basicaly as long as you are happy, and the bosses aren't unhappy, do what you want.

My friend Sara
I have no experiences like that
But I can offer my :2c:
Don't think of it as "Pushing The Boundaries"
Think of it as testing the waters
The more and more you do it
The more you are comfortable with it
But you will still have day that your just not sure
It's all a part of life
Live it to the fullest
:hugs:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CharleneCD

Its probobly going to go as far as you feel comfortable. It sounds as if you have an accepting workplace so that could go a long way.

In my current job, I have pushed a bit. I wear medical scrubs in colors and patterns that most men wouldn't dare to try. Also my nails are longer than most of the womens. While I have worn full eye make up at another job, I will not do it here. The gossip I have heard about some of our patients leads me to believe many of my coworkers might not be accepting of it. We are also a Catholic owned hospital. Lastly, as a caregiver I do not want my appearance to detract from my patients comfort, so I do not wish to go overboard.

So basicaly as long as you are happy, and the bosses aren't unhappy, do what you want.

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A big "Hurrah!" That was well expressed.
Go ahead and express yourself as long as it doesn't impose on others, or their beliefs in a way that they could not accept.

Sara. From all my gender experimentation I think I can safely tell you that it's all about you and how you feel. I met with a new TG friend today, and she had long acrylic nails. I on the other hand I have both ears pierced. She said she wouldn't be comfortable with her ears pierced and I know I would not feel good about having long nails.

So Sara just be comfortable with who you are. It not against the law is it ?:hugs:

I am with you Sara.
While i dont wear femme clothes to work (except for panties and occasional bra ;) ). i regularly go out completely in subtle femme clothing. i love the feeling i get doing it, its very empowering when i do it!
i have had some issues at work. i have grown my hair out, wear earrings (silver loops), and i keep clear polish on my nails. some at work had called me a girl (not in a good way). but i just let it roll off me. i am who i am, and i am going to live my life the way i want.

Hi girls,

Thanks so much for your feedback and support which i really appreciate. I'm 99.9% sure i'm going to go into work wearing my ladies trousers tomorrow. I'm sure it will be uneventful. Just myself beating myself up as usual! GGRRRR

Would be interested in hearing other peoples' experiences, too.

Thanks again ladies!

You will determine how far it will go by sensing what you are comfortable with and what kinds of reactions you can deal with. I have worn women's pants a couple of time to work, but they were probably more like "uni-sex" pants. No one commented or noticed as far as I know, but I only did it a couple of times. I think that if I did it every day, someone would notice and comment. In my situation, that would not be good.
However, I have pushed the make-up envelope a few times too. I occasionally wear a little mascara and a very light lipstick. I have gotten any reactions that I can discern.
I have the urge to do more and more and more--and more often. However, when it comes to the workplace, I have mostly restrained the urges (except for panties and other underwear).

Sara
I have been wearing womens trousers to work for the last couple of years. If anyone has noticed nobody has said anything. I say do what make you feel comfortable

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Girly Sara

Hi girls,

Wanted to share how my femme side seems to be dominating my life right now. Can anyone relate to the following?

A quick reminder. I came out as Sara in 2003 and have been out as her numerous times. Mainly nights out and also a shopping trip as Sara. The urge to go out as Sara was overwhelming. Well, I've now reached what appears to be the next chapter in my life.

For quite some time now, my male wardrobe has been diminishing and my female attire has been increasing. Let me explain. For the past year, i've been buying more and more female clothing to wear as my male self, 'Alan'. Obviously not skirts or anything that shouts out 'girly'. For example, clothing like ladies' jeans and tops but with no noticeable embroidery or lace etc etc. At first i felt nervous and self-conscious as i didn't know what society would think. No one seems to notice, though.

However, i'm now finding the need to wear girly stuff for work. I've just bought a pair of ladies' black formal trousers which are slightly flared at the bottom and i'd really like to wear them for work on Monday. BUT, i've got that nervous feeling again! All the "if's" and "but's" are going through my mind but at the same time something inside is telling me i have to go for it.

I've recently been going into work with french manicured nails and i wore mascara one day last week so i'm expressing myself more now. People that have read my threads would also have read that i've come out to a few girls at work which i'm sure they've spread to everyone else in the office, too. I've had no adverse reaction from any of them (bless 'em!)

I guess i'm just apprehensive at how far this will all go? Ladies trousers for work now and then the need to wear a ladies shirt/blouse? Where will it all end? I feel as if my life is being dictated right now. I don't mean that in a negative way as i like that i'm expressing my girly side and it makes me happy.

Am i making sense, girls? Hope so. Would like to hear other girls' experiences which mirror mine or are similar, please?

Anyway, enough rambling on from me and i hope to hear from people soon.

Sara xxxx

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I too have started pushing the envelope at work. I now wear panties everyday, some days a bra (no pads) and a cami too. Lately I have started putting on makeup, powder, and lipstick. The makeup and powder blend very well with my complextion and the lipstick is a very light Pink. Almost the same color as my natural lip color. I also have long acrylic nails with clear polish on them. But I am looking for a very light Pink nail polish to wear. No one at work has noticed anything different. In fact I would get my ears pierced if I thought no one at work would make a big deal about it.
Back in 2005 when I was living at my sister's house, at night and on weekends, I would wear ladies slacks, ladies t-shirt, panties, bra, ladies socks, and a pair of Dr. Scholes ladies loafers. Not even my sister noticed and the slacks did not even have any back pockets. I even went out shopping with my sister dress that way. LOL

Hi girls,

Thanks for your further comments. It's interesting to hear how similar our experiences are.

Well, i went for it today. Wore my black ladies' trousers to work and absolutely no comment. Made one girl aware that i was wearing them although i'm 'out' to her as with a few others. Pleased that i overcome yet another obstacle and all helps to increase my confidence.

Sara xxx

Sara, are you on HRT yet? I can't tell you, nor do I want to tell you, whether to transition. I'm sure you've given it plenty of thought. Do what is right for you and have fun doing it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Courtneygurl

Sara, are you on HRT yet? I can't tell you, nor do I want to tell you, whether to transition. I'm sure you've given it plenty of thought. Do what is right for you and have fun doing it.

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Hi Courtneygurl!

No, i'm not on HRT, hun. Maybe something that happens in time to come but i'm enjoying the ride in the meantime.

Thanks for your feedback!

Sara xxxx

My advise is do what you feel comfortable with.....just take it a day at a time...a step at a time.... test the waters and then you will feel the need to take another step...if at some point you hesitate...then hesitate...but if it feels right do it... listen to your heart and you won't go wrong.:hugs:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by suzy

My advise is do what you feel comfortable with.....just take it a day at a time...a step at a time.... test the waters and then you will feel the need to take another step...if at some point you hesitate...then hesitate...but if it feels right do it... listen to your heart and you won't go wrong.:hugs:

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Thanks for your feedback, Suzy. Appreciate it.

Sara xxx

I found it easier to wear womens clothes to work that at home. My wife doesn't like me dressing at all, she did put up with some undies and that was it. I figured who cares what the people at work think, they're not going to be around forever. I never wore anything too girly, just slacks and some times shoes. I only had a few comments, a guy commented on my pants once asking if they were girls, a girl that I eat lunch with noted that lined pants don't go well with sandles(she pretty much knew) and a guy noticed that I had my nails done. The last one was the worst as it was in a room with only managers(I was one) and above all sitting facing eachother. It's funny, I've had both ears pierced since I was 18, I stopped wearing them when I got my nails done. It was like a trade off, only more like a 3 for one deal. Nails, long hair, shaped eyebrows, so no earrings.

I stopped when my wife said enough, she couldn't take it. So I am back at square one with her.

Anyway most people won't notice and if they do won't say anything. You just have to look out for you and the ones you love.