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Wife and I were sitting at the bar Saturday Nov 25 when another CD came in dressed in a leopard print dress. My wife is very supportive of my dressing and suggested we strike up a conversation but you were busy talking to bartenders. I would have told you how beautiful you looked and how i admired your confidence.
Interesting.
...No, it wasn't me.
If you and your wife frequently visit this bar, perhaps you will have another opportunity to introduce yourselves.
There is a very nice thought, Veronica. I just wonder how many CDers would appreciate knowing that they "don't pass as a woman" and that someone clocked them as a CDer (no matter how beautifully they are dressed). Most CDer's that I know in person would be devastated. Maybe strike up a conversation, but don't let on that you know they are a CDer unless they tell you that they are.
Char, I will kindly disagree. I assume people know I'm not GG. And it's absolutely wonderful for someone to pay me a compliment when I'm out dressed. One night at Diva Las Vegas in a very fun dress I had six women compliment me. Did they know my secret? Yes. Did I care? No. Did I love the compliments? Absolutely!
I would suggest to the OP that their wife make the approach and the compliment. It always comes better from women, IMO.
Although some may be disappointed, most of us who co mingle socially while crossdressed are easily identified as a CD. Like Dee says it does not matter because the same person who noticed may still like our look and hand out an unsolicited compliment out of the blue. In a way, those compliments carry even more weight when the person knows and compliments us regardless. That is what some of us need to feel acceptance. I will take compliments from anyone ; )
Sandi
I tend to agree with some others here, as long as it's polite and with a compliment I'll take any conversation with someone that's accepting and interested. I know I don't pass but like to feel pretty as this 68 year old can. If I approached someone it would be only to compliment their looks and style and let them take it from there.
I am with Sandi, Dee, and Jolene. I and most of my crossdressing friends in my social circle do not mind being chatted with while we are out and about even with the folks knowing that we are crossdressers. I personally prefer to be recognized as a crossdresser out enjoying the pretty time. I bet that there is a better chance of having friendly conversations with strangers if they are not fooled by your presentation. No shame in being a crossdresser.
Veronica, You don't say whether you were dressed when the other CD came in. That would make the difference of whether I would approach. That is, I would approach if dressed.
I will add I was out to dinner with our TG group the Saturday night before Thanksgiving. There were probably 10 of us in the bar socializing before we were assigned a table. There was a table of maybe eight people having dinner in the bar (haven't seen that before at this place), and as I am walking out one of the women (the birthday girl, as it turns out) asked a question along the lines of why we were there.
I stopped and talked to her for about 10 minutes, even getting a nearby chair to sit to make it easier to talk. I explained that historically we met in private hotel rooms, but given the cost and more tolerance we just meet at a restaurant now. She and another woman were surprised when I said I had been married for 31 years, and that most of us were either married or had been married. The birthday girl even had her dad take a picture with me.
Obviously, they all knew, but I will always answer questions, to help share the message and educate others. You never know when you might make a friend.
I think you did the right thing not talking .
Unless the CD is very confidant and out all the time ( you would not know this) their evening would be ruined as they were clocked.
I am going by all the years Sher and I offered to go out with those new at going out and Sher before she grew confident…..the entire night would be destroyed. We took them to safe inclusive places but there sometimes would be someone who meant well and the CD would want to go home immediately……..asking what did I do wrong…..is it my makeup? My wig ? Sometimes making it where they just did not want to go out again
Yes
To be talked to as you would anyone….like your dress ….isn't it cold out and not how you admire their confidence letting them know they were made.
So I would say you did the right thing unless just talking like you would talk to anyone.
I also cringe when I see these posts because if they are here and felt good about their outing they now are second guessing themselves .
Not everyone goes out all the time….not everyone is confident so I would rather not ruin someone’s night out. It’s great ( wonderful)to be an ambassador but that really is rare.
It seems to me the simplest thing to do would have been to compliment the person on their outfit without mentioning anything about their confidence. By doing that, you've acknowledged you like what they are wearing and how it looks on them without divulging you know they are a cross dresser. When they reply with a "thank you", if they have a deep voice that is surely masculine, you could then say you are surprised to learn they CD. If they present a feminine voice, don't say a thing about them being a CDer. Either way, you've offered a genuine compliment and boosted their confidence.
Why, thank u, Roni! BLUSH!:o
I'm with Char and Di.
If I've taken the effort to dress and go out, I want to be perceived as (and treated like) a woman.
Someone coming up to me and telling me (in essence) that I've failed to blend in, would definitely ruin my whole outing.
But then - I'm a bit more on the T* side of the "spectrum." Maybe that's the difference.