A watershed moment - and Gigi is born [very long]
I want to start by saying how much I appreciate this forum and all who participate. Without you, I would not have had the knowledge or courage to take a giant step forward in understanding my own non-binary gender, and possibly in improving my relationship with my wife. I've been a member here for over 4 years, but read much more than I contribute. I apologize for that, and will try to comment more going forward.
I've shared my background in bits and pieces, but here is a summary: I have been crossdressing since I was quite young, probably around 5 years old, when I found and put on my mother's panties. This evolved into a fetish when I went through puberty. I shared this with my high-school sweetheart, who told me it "didn't matter" and we occasionally incorporated dressing into our "bedroom" (actually back seat of the car) play. She and I married soon after high school and a few weeks or months later she said that it just "wasn't right" and would no longer allow it. That was crushing, and led to a purge. Ultimately, we found ourselves in a DADT relationship for most of what has now been 40+ years of marriage.
My femme wardrobe built up over the years, and I started underdressing and wearing slightly-on-the-femme-side of androgynous jeans, hosiery, shoes and boots. These drew occasional negative comments from my wife, but didn't lead to any major issues. I do my own laundry to avoid her having to face it. Some GG friends, and one couple know of my crossdressing. The couple are my best friends in the world.
Now, on to the watershed moment: That couple lives about 14 hours' drive away. They recently bought a fixer-upper home and were on a deadline to finish remodeling and move into it. I offered to drive over and help. I packed much of my femme wardrobe without having solid plans for wearing it, other than to wear some well-used shirts for painting.
One of my daughters is staying with us while working from home. It happens that her temporarily vacant home is at a good overnight rest stop for the long drive to my friends' place. I managed to work up the nerve to "drive pretty" for the remaining 8-hour drive after spending the night there. I've only been out dressed a few times, and was always incredibly nervous, so this was no easy decision. Somewhere during that pretty drive I asked myself why I couldn't remain en femme for the duration of the trip. I took it one day at a time, each morning deciding to dress again. It was a wonderful 2 weeks! My friends and their "community" of other friends could not have been more accepting or supportive.
I was consistently met with kindness or professional courtesy during countless building-supply store runs with my GG friend. I can't imagine that I'm all that close to "blending," let alone passing. The highlight of my trip had to be pedicures with my friend and her GG friend that was also helping with the house project.
The icing on the cake is - I told my wife about this after I got home. She was not angry or upset, but took the news calmly. She asked if the couple had known about my crossdressing already (they had), but she had no other questions. She acknowledged that this was important to me, and even apologized for not being able to participate. However, she had no negative comments when I showed her the pictures. In my book, that was a huge win!
I apologize for the long post, but am excited to share my adventure and progress with you. Also, my GG friend renamed me "Gigi" while presenting femme. I had asked her for some help since Genni never felt just right. Look for a name change for me here shortly.
Gigi / Genni
