Printable View
I?ve been out and about en femme interacting with other people dozens if not hundreds of times, but there?s one thing that still always strikes me as odd: being referred to as "she" or "her" by other people. Don?t get me wrong, I love it, but it always sounds a little odd. A couple of weeks ago I was at a wig store buying a new wig, and the owner said to the SA, "Give her a pink ribbon to go with that." It actually took me a second to realize "Yeah! Her! That?s me!" Any similar experiences?
Deleted by Teresa.
Since you are presenting as female, I don't find it odd. But I agree I am sometimes surprised by it. I guess hiding my femininity all those years, it may never fade completely.
Julie
No, not at all. Because I'm also often referred to by male adjectives. So, I'm not "surprised" by either.:straightface:
And, I don't care. What I want from my sales assistant or wait person is good, helpful service!
What surprises me is how many dressers r so affected by what someone who's just trying to do their job says. Either positively or negatively!:eek:
I guess I expect to be called she / her / ma'am and disappointed when I get he/him/sir. I put a lot of time and effort into my female appearance.
I find it odd when they say he or sir. Sometimes they do. Sometimes I'm hardly trying and I get ma'am.. Hard to understand the psychology of other people's mind.
Honestly, I can?t remember the first time someone referred to me as she/her but I do know that every time I heard it, I felt authenticated...validated...whatever the word should be.
Honestly, I don’t go out seeking that validation, but when it happens, I am thrilled.
I don't remember getting a sir, he, him, or ma'am, she, her. Its quite rude to "he" or "her" if you're being talked about in front of you - it's always "Our customer" etc.
I get "ma'am" quite often. Oddly enough, often times I'm in Male drab. As soon as they begin to stammer an apology I always tell them it's ok, "it's just because of my hair". That generally gets a chuckle and sets them at ease.
It never seems "odd" to me when someone uses a feminine pronoun when referring to me.
It would seem odd if they didn't, unless of course they were calling me by my name.
I've gotten Ma'amed a time or two, from a distance, based on my ponytail. It put a smile on my face.
The one that threw me for a loop was being addressed as "Grandpa" by an employee in a thrift store outlet the other day. It didn't register with me at all that I was the person being addressed.
Cynthia, I have been Sired will dressed to the 9s, not a nice feeling.
If you are called "sir" whendressed and presenting
female it is a deliberate insult.
When I'm out dressed, I relish hearing ma'am thrown in my direction. Occasionally it catches me off guard, but it always puts a smile on my face.
One time I had a clerk call me Mr. It was obvious from the smirk on her face that it was meant as an intentional insult. It did catch me off guard, however I smiled back at her and said have a nice day as I walked out the door.
I have guys checking me out when I'm out shopping in casual clothes and long salt and pepper gray hair.
I think its the Mary Ann vs Ginger popularity contest. I smile and have a figure that ages well.
Marion
I definitely understand it feeling odd if it hasn't happened to you much before. But there's a conversation going on about pronouns and a lot of good people are trying to get them right. That's a good thing. The haters don't try, but who cares what they think.
The first time it was odd but not anymore.
Hi Cynthia :hugs:, After a lifetime of being called Sir or Mr. It must take some getting used to.4
>>>>>>>>>>Orchid**0:daydreaming:0*
I don't pass, so it doesn't matter how they call me, but for sure it feels good to be treated like "her" or "she", even when I know that the salesperson's job is to be nice and sell, sell and sell. Only once did someone call me "sir" in an offensive and despective way. I just ignored him and his comments.
I don't go out, but experience this when my wife posts in this forum and says "she" or otherwise uses female forms when speaking about me. Sometimes I ask her "why don't you use he, his, etc.", and she tells me "because that's the forums custom". I mean, I try to follow the forum's etiquette and use female forms (no pun) when speaking about members (I used to sometimes blow it at the beginning), but it sounds odd when it's my turn, and when somebody addresses us as "girls", I appreciate it's done as a nice gesture (so, no criticizing here), but deep inside me, I'm definitely not a "girl" and don't feel included.
Still, I find it very brave of my wife to use these female forms, knowing how hard my coming out so late in the game badly struck her. While I'm sure I could accept her if she ever decided to present as a male once in a while (not a challenge when you are a crossdresser yourself), I am not so sure I could refer to her using male forms, like she does with female forms for me. Because it's not just presentation anymore. Being referred to as a "she" is like essentializing you as a female. Which is a disconnect with how I feel as a dresser.