Still closeted: Masking body hair during summer

Hi all!

This is actually my first ever post here!:) And it's going to touch on several points so please bare with me.

A brief bio: I was married to a wonderful woman for several years and after an amicable divorce, I was finally free to dress up when I wanted, as often as I wanted, and not keep a stash of my clothes, shoes, makeup etc. hidden anymore. It was so nice that my first winter where i was single, I was able to shave my legs and chest because it wasn't shorts weather, and felt so wonderful for the first time.

Well, I'm still closeted with most people in my life apart from some close friends, it's summer now and I simply can't be smooth like I'd like to be. And I'm sure some of you can relate to this, but I have developed (or accepted what was there all along?) feelings for men. So now that you have all the facts here is the point of my post...

Do any of you have some tips for being...intimate...with a guy I've been talking to for the first time while covering up somehow? It's not even for him, but for me. I've thought bodystocking, corset, gloves...basically be covered neck down. But bodystockings are kinda sheer, even the "opaque" ones. I want to be sexy for him (and for me), and wear something sexy, but not not sure how to do so effectively. Like, would corset over bodystocking would look weird? Should I put another pair of tights on top? Should I be thinking of of maybe like latex suit or something? My leg and arm hair is very light, but somewhat thick so I'm worried even a nude bodystocking wouldn't do the job like i'd want. My chest I can shave or trim very close without much worry but doing so to my arms and legs would garner so many questions from coworkers and family that I just don't want to do with right now.

So, any thoughts? Thanks!!

I almost have to laugh. You want to be intimate with a man (good for you, go for it, but take the proper precautions), and your chief worry is body hair???

My advice is go ahead and shave it because no one will notice.

I've shaved my legs for multiple years and my arms for the last several and no one notices. I coach high school tennis so I'm in shorts and t-shirts all the time, even with high school girls, and no one has said anything. Golf with 25 guys in our group. Crickets. Shorts at the Y and the locker room at the Y (pre-Covid, anyway). Nothing. Two extra months of summer in Australia, swimming, biking, tennis, running. Nothing. No one notices.

And if someone does say something? Just say you're worried about sun cancer and it was easier to put on sun screen with clean arms and legs. Or some other reason--you're a swimmer, or a biker--or whatever.

But no one will notice.

Thank you for your reply. And I appreciate your advice and agree in general that most people wouldn't notice because they just aren't that observant, or with new people, if they thought about it at all they'd assume I'm naturally smooth. But there are some people in my life who will notice without a doubt. And as I said, I'm not ready to come out with these people. I've been with men before but when I actually was smooth so this is just different. Anyway, I'll get to where you are one day with the confidence, but I'm not there yet :/

I used to bleach my arm and leg hairs blonde. They became almost invisible except up close. Looked like they were bleached by the sun. And took a hair trimmer with a depth guide and shortened them up a bit.

Now I just shave all year long. No one cares.

Living in FL its pretty much "summer" year round here. My guy self wears shorts pretty much all the time. Shirts are always short sleeve. Unfortunately (?) I'm fairly hairy. So I shave, epilate, Nair, etc to keep myself sleek. Nobody notices. But I feel good.

I have to agree with "TheHiddenMe", shave it, epilate it, wax it, laser it, get rid of it. If it bothers you its no ones business. If they ask, tell them it is too hot , it itches, you don't like the sasquatch look. Ask them why they want to look like a hairy gorilla. Its more in our own head than everyone elses. Either no one will notice or care. I worked in corrections for 25 years and have been a volunteer firefighter for 30. No one has bothered me about it and I have been epilating and shaving arms, legs, chest, and back for probably the last 10 years. Once you start, you won't want to go back.

Wow thank you everyone for the encouragement and reassurance. It gives me some courage for sure!:)

One further aside.

About 20 years ago as a Valentines Day present my wife bought me a wig and gave me a makeover. I wore nude hose and my wife mentioned the hose did a good job of hiding my leg hair.

It didn't hide my leg hair. I had shaved them one night in my hotel on a business trip (long before I would have considered going out dressed on a business trip).

So even my wife didn't notice I had shaved my legs, until I told her after she made the comment.

I've been reading some articles that manscaping is the new in thing. Tell them that and to get up with the times.

As Vince Lombardi supposedly said, "The best defense is a good offense."

I shave my legs all year around and moisturize the heck out of them so they are smooth and shiny. Not one word. My arm hair, well, upper body, I use a trimmer with the thinnest spacer comb and trim my hair short, like 1/8". I have shaved my arms and upper body, but it takes quite a commitment to do chest arms and especially the back, so I stick with the trim. The stubble makes me crazy and I refuse to shave everyday or two.

As Karren says, get a hair trimmer, the sort used to trim ear and nose hair works OK and use it to thin out the hair.

If you're bothered by what others might say, do it gradually and see if in fact you get any comments which I doubt.

I would also recommend you become truly comfortable with your own body image before considering any intimacy with another man.

I have been shaving my legs, feet (yeah, got some hair over there too), back, arm pits and trimming chest and arms for over two years. Im using a laser removing treatment in my back and feet, and considering to expand to other areas.

Most people will never comment (even if they notice), some will notice and whatever motive you give them, should be fine and they will never get back in this topic.

It was funny when I started again to have in person classes with my personal trainer that she asked me to shave my legs because she got a new equipment that used electrodes to improve muscle gain! There? the perfect motive!:daydreaming:

So Sara, take your time and find out what works best for you! Try to enjoy the ride!

Gi.

I'm a swimmer and cyclist so no body hair is a-ok for me. Nobody has ever commented on it, other than females wishing they had my legs.

Get rid of the hair. No one will care. You are tying yourself into a knot over something that is very simple. Get rid of the hair. No one will care.

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I tried that on my arms early on and all it does is attract more attention. Hair does not grow uniformly. It may seem to be all the same length but it's not. The minute you run a trimmer down your arms, you make every single hair on there uniform and suddenly it looks too uniform to be natural. It looks like a carpet. Just get rid of the hair. No one will care.

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Originally Posted by Helen_Highwater

As Karren says, get a hair trimmer, the sort used to trim ear and nose hair works OK and use it to thin out the hair.

If you're bothered by what others might say, do it gradually and see if in fact you get any comments which I doubt.

I would also recommend you become truly comfortable with your own body image before considering any intimacy with another man.

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So when I started shaving my legs a couple of years ago I was very self conscious when I wore shorts. Guess what? The world did not end. Did people notice? Probably. Except for my therapist, no one ever said anything about it, including my wife. People are too caught up in themselves to worry about your body hair. If you want to be smooth all over, I suggest you take some advice from Nike and "Just Do It."

Sara Grace,

Decide what is important to you. If you choose to defoliate, that's your business. Anyone nosey enough to ask can be told "I thought I'd try it, and it turns out like it. ". End of story.

But you should think about your motivation and your approach. Are you trying to look good, or are you trying to be smooth?. What does your boy friend think? If you are going for smooth, you need to wax or better. Shaving can leave stubble and bumps. My wife complains sometimes that she doesn't like to feel my skin if I'm a day out from a shave. She thinks it feels like a plucked chicken. The only way around this is to let it grow, or permanent removal. Thus I have opted for laser in limited areas

If you find the right man (and it won't take much) body hair will not be an issue. It's amazing or surprising how little could be an issue. Nothing I've experienced but stuff I'm aware of. As far as worrying about body hair, I did laser 20 years ago and never look back. it's not coming back. And It ultimately never mattered. There was trepidation at the time but if you're not in a relationship, you do you. Deal with any repercussions later. There's no moment I regret lasering all body hair.

I have not had hair on my legs for years and only one person ever commented. Not someone I knew, so really not an issue.

I had the same worries about coworkers and family commenting when I removed all my body hair for the first time.
I had 2 comments total. One from a female coworker who told me I had nice legs and another from my M-I-L who asked why. I just said I hated having so much hair. It was never mentioned again.

Just do it! People don't care as much as you would like to think they do. There may be a few comments, but just own it. Tell them it feels cleaner or you disliked being hairy or your idol is Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Life is too short to be held back by worries of what others think.

Honestly people stop caring if you just tell them it feels better with smooth legs.

I have been shaving for close to 20 years and nobody has said a word. A few years ago I took the final leap and started shaving my forearms as well.

Just go ahead and shave. If anybody says anything tell them that you have something called CD Syndrome and that you have to shave. That will send them scrambling to Google trying to find out what CD Syndrome is.

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PS, or you could tell them you are a porn star and that you shave to look good on camera. That will shut them up.

When I was more worried, used electric clippers with the different number attachments to trim everything progressively shorter.

Agree with others how few if anyone notices but the above may be more comfortable for you.

Also set ground rules, for me bra stays on the party is over.

I've been using Nair on my arms legs and back for a while now. Zero comments from anyone.

I totally agree with all the 'no one cares / notices' comments.......
I have been (almost) hair free for 29 years, no one ever asked a question.....
People see what they want to see, and most people don't look for 'tells'.
My work buddies didn't notice I pierced my ears for many months.
When they finally noticed and asked, I just replied that I wanted to do it......
I have had my toes painted various shades of red & glitter for many a year, and had no concern...
But I don't go out to the public w/o socks etc....
Finger nails have been 1/8 to 3/4" on and off, with clear gloss or frost for over 10 years......
Only one, friend, a senior woman asked me if I wore nail polish....
I replied YES, because my nails were constantly cracking or splitting / layering....
She was OK with that response. Many years later I told her I enjoyed wearing womans clothing.
She responded that it was OK to not be what the world considers 'normal'.
Since then she has gifted me a few earrings & necklaces.
Of course I keep telling her, more is better..... :-)
So far she has only sent me two stashes of her Jewelry.......
Have know her for maybe 60+ years.......
That being said, I do go clear nail 's on my Dr's visits.

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2nd response, as most have skipped the QUESTION "intimate...with a guy"
I have no knowledge on that aspect, other than living to this age.....
IMO if that's your desire, then of course be safe, and respect yourself and others.
First of all BE SAFE!!!!!!!
As for the question, IMO no one has 100% knowledge what others find attractive and desirable.
IMO loss of hair is appealing to most, other than that who knows.
Your best bet IMO would be to ASK what is expected and desired.
IMO don't do it to just do it, but do what YOU desire and 'need', but BE SAFE!
I can see where this could go wrong, and you could end up thinking of this as the worst thing that has ever happened to you.
I have no clue as to your age, or life experiences, yet I feel IMO it is better to have lived 40/50 years wanting something.
Than to have lived 20+ years giving something away that would have been better saved for someone that was really 'into' you.
We (as far as I know) only live this life once, many have said they regret less not doing, than doing.....
For myself, I wish I had this web site back in the 1960's, maybe even the late 1950's.....
And remember, Be Safe, and respectful of yourself and others.

Like many here, I have been shaving my legs, and entire body for years ( 20+) and I moisturize also. No one seems to notice or care. The only place I have hair is on the top of my head. I can only think of once or twice that anything was said. I date men and In my experience though, I've found that most men don't like a chick with a hairy body ,so I'm very picky about it. That isn't set in stone though, and like Ronny said, find out what their expectations are. It may not matter. If you cant bring yourself to shave , wear womans jeans or leggings. You can also wear black hose or tights, but in the Summer you might find tights uncomfortable