Told a Friend

For the first time, I told a woman friend that I am somewhat trans, and crossdress. I have told, or shown, others who are not in my real world sphere. That is, friends I have met at LGBTQ+ venues, or friends from on line. But this was the first friend, beyond my wife, that now knows. She was very supportive, saying we are all a little trans, as we all have both male and female hormones in our bodies. She wondered how my wife (not a fan) and kids (don't know; I am in no rush to share it with 17, 15, and 12 year olds) took it. Then she made a great comment, that perhaps the kids will learn from it, that we all have differences which make us special. I like that. She also mentioned how mean some can be to those who embrace their own, especially unconventional, nature. True. We have been friends for 37+ years and I have never felt closer to her.

Sharing to show that letting true friends know can be a positive experience. The more we embrace ourselves, the more the world may embrace us. It will take time.

Julie

That is truly wonderful. It's good if you can have someone to talk to outside the household.

Julie,
I wish I had the guts to tell others. My wife knows and so does my ex. My adult son may know but we don't discuss it. Outside of these three, no one that I am aware of. No guts, no glory.

I find that I feel better when I have told someone, even if they are not pleased. The reaction I get is usually positive which builds confidence. Don't worry about the younger ones my grandchildren, 19 and twelve were very much OK.

Well done, Julie. Although my wife is supportive, she doesn't want our friends and family knowing. Im ok with that. It doesn't stop me from making new friends.

I have to add that this friend is not known to any of my other friends. So I am not as courageous as it may seem. It's a start.

Once you tell someone you lose control of the narrative. There can be unintended consequences that effect husband and wife. It's a tough personal choice to 'out' oneself.

So happy for you!! I tried that with man I thought was an understanding friend only to find out he wasn't. He told me to get counseling and stay away from him. All I want is someone to talk too.

Thanks for sharing Julie, I have taken it on board

Good for you Julie for finding a true friend to share your inner self with. She could also be a good resource in the future who you can bounce ideas off of and ask for help about feminine feelings. I have been also lucky with this in a different way and their thoughts and suggestions have been helpful in molding Sarah.

Julie that is awesome!

Summer 2019 I reconnected with an old GF as she was visiting MA. When we caught up I filled her in on my TG side. She was a little surprised, but non judgmental.

We reconnected resecrntly as she may visit again and I explained my post-Covid “pink haze.” She’s started researching CD and TG on her own has been actively supportive. We’ve been talking by phone once a week and it’s been great.

It is nice to hear your spouse is supporting you, so you can open up about your desires and needs and that you are willing to be open with people in your social circles.
It is evident you do not have any selfish concerns about hurting anyone of your loved ones feelings.... that is the part, a lot of us, worry about.
We all know our own personnel situations and I do applaud your spouse. As you mentioned, she is an Angel!
You are so blessed...and that is so nice to hear! Life is so short, living it on your own terms...."PRICELESS!"

Hi Julie :hugs:, That is Fantastic, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

Julie,

Congrats to you for disclosing your true identity with your GG friend. Also, your friend's acceptance was fantastic. The world needs more open minded people like her.

When I disclosed my identity to a GG work colleague she didn't bat an eyebrow. Her non-reaction was kind of liberating to me. Did you experience anything similar?

Candy, I think you have my spouse confused with someone else's. Mine is not supportive. Wants it all "to just end", said she "might not have married me if she knew then". And I do care about worrying my kids, at their young ages. I don't want their perspective of me clouded at this point. And I don't want them burdened with a secret they can't safely share with their friends, or enemies.

DMichelle, My GG friend was very accepting. More concerned with how my kids and the world would understand, and react. It was more comforting, versus liberating, to let a friend know.

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Originally Posted by Julie MA

Candy, I think you have my spouse confused with someone else's. .....My GG friend was very accepting.....

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Ah, I read it wrong...got late that night I was perusing the forum....Got it.
Yes, Having a genetic girl who is a friend, that knows your secret, and is supportive, is very comforting!
I have a few GG's in my circle who know and actually gift me small tokens of girly things, perfume, pixie dust, costume jewelry....and that's pretty cool.

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Originally Posted by Julie MA

Candy, I think you have my spouse confused with someone else's. Mine is not supportive. Wants it all "to just end", said she "might not have married me if she knew then".

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Julie

My wife made the same comments.

It's really disconcerting. I make a good living, I don't drink (to excess), I don't do drugs, I don't cheat on her and I don't abuse her physically or mentally. I don't hang out with the guys and I haven't made her a "golf widow". Yet, crossdressing is worse than all of the previous.

[QUOTE][/Candy, I think you have my spouse confused with someone else's. Mine is not supportive. Wants it all "to just end", said she "might not have married me if she knew then".

Julie, thats awesome that you were able to come out and be accepted by your friend. It sounds like many of us live very compartmentalized lives where the male life and CD life have no crossovers.

Your later comment about your wife sounds so familiar. Mine said the same once in one of our less cordial discussions. She thought the only reason i stayed married to her was so she would keep my secret which is SO not the case. I told her i didnt care if she told anyone or everyone if it meant staying with her and clearing thecair between us. As i told her .... sometimes i wish everyone knew this about me. My life would be so much easier if everything were out in the open.

Steffi, Snowy,

We are living parallel lives. I wish she was understanding and supportive. She claims to be accepting of every liberal lifestyle and person on Earth, except me. And i really don't care who knows about me. I would feel fully free if they all did. I do worry about the impact on my kids though.

Julie

Julie, It is not unusual for our wives to be ok about crossdressing with everyone else except the one she is married to.

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Originally Posted by Julie MA

And i really don't care who knows about me. I would feel fully free if they all did. I do worry about the impact on my kids though.

Julie

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Just remember that you have helped shape those kids....Acceptance is taught and that goes with accepting an "interesting" father.