Going out

Lately, i have been feel a strong urge to get out in the real world. I what go shopping and interact and just be out.
What drives us CD's to want go out. is it just a thrill, shock value or just feel normal?
Sara

I think validation for all the hard work of transformation for some.
Shock value for some that dress like $2.00 hookers.
For me its just normal.

I went out earlier today, its the naturally feeling of being a girl and going out. I love to go out shopping as a girl. I felt more of a thrill in the beginning which can make it difficult but as time went by, it became natural. It was easier and less nerve racking to do once you venture into crowded places like the mall. I've been treated well and blended in with everyone else so the feeling of acceptance also attracts me to do it more as I am comfortable.

Definitely not shock value. And while going out at first was kind of thrilling that is not the reason I got out either. I have often written it is like shouting from the rooftops that I am a cross dresser without saying a word. It's a kind of validation of myself and proof that I am not ashamed. There is also the simple functional aspect in that making the transformation is a lot of work and staying at home is boring.

Interacting with the normals is always interesting. I have yet to have a bad time or even a slightly negative time out. I get occasional stares, of course. I am, after all a man dressed as a woman and that is just not common int he great outdoors. What I also get are smiles and welcomes.

For me, going out and not getting laughed or stared at is validation of my skills at presenting as a female. If I can go out and walk around town without people pointing and laughing, it makes my day. If I get the idea that someone clocked me, I'll be upset and probably head for home.

That said, I have no illusions of sitting in a bar or restaurant and passing or having a close up and personal conversation with someone. I stick to shopping malls, city streets and parks and I dress appropriately even though I would rather "dress up".

Cheap hookers over there in USA...

Needed to get out of the house couldn't stand hiding anymore, sure very nervous at first but settled down after getting no bad reactions. Now it feels natural as if I was meant to be seen in the real world, need to do everyday things why not as my femme self, I try to be stylish yet have my own "look". But now I feel a responsibility to be seen and counted as a CDer blending in with no shame or embarrassment even when interacting face to face with others.

Sara
it is just part of letting the girl out after that first time out is become's easy i don't buy much on the inter net any more i would rather brouse around and see what i can't live with out , typical outing is go shopping have lunch go shopping some more , it is just part of who we really are

have fun and own it Susie

I had not considered the self validation side. I think that could very well feed the need I am currently having. it is a lot of work to get dolled up just to sit around the house. I put the shock value in because there are plenty of people the would.
Thank you for your thoughts. Now I need to work things out with my wife.
Sara

What drives us and everyone else to do anything? Desire, curiosity and/or the challenge of something new. The desire to go out is a natural progression for some in their CD development process. One's fear of undesired recognition is hindrance to getting out. Just start out with something easy and non-stressful. With practice it gets easier and can become second nature.

I don't think there is anything wrong with me dressing as a woman. But if I am choosing to hide it, then there must be some part of me at least that does see it as wrong.

I am choosing to stop hiding. I think this process began with me beginning to go out about 10 years ago, and has continued to the present with me coming out to three more people last week.

If it isn't wrong, I don't need to hide. I don't think it is wrong, thus I don't need to be ashamed of it and hide it.

I don't see dressing as wrong. I don't wish to embarrass my wife or family. Only my wife and 1 friend know. I am a private person and see little reason to share my dressing with others, including my family..
Sara

Right, the assumption is that even though you don't see it as wrong, others will. I felt similarly and decided to try and prove it one way or the other.

I am not attempting to tell you how you should feel. You asked what other's thoughts are. These thoughts are mine.

As we see, there are many reasons that make us want to go out. I dream for acceptability but that's a long way away.
I love every step in the process. I enjoy thinking about it, deciding to go out, choosing what to wear, where to go, etc. I start with moisturizer and finish doing my nails. I've found several places to go. The frustration comes with our community. It's very rural. I've watched carefully what the fashion mode is. One word describes it...DRAB. (Not our drab.) No makeup, no jewelry, t shirts, bare legs, uncombed hair, no nail polish, etc. I use minimum makeup, short hair wigs, shorts and flats. Even with a toned down image, I still stand out. I will drive to a near by shopping mall, but find much of the same. It's still fun...maybe someday things will be different. In the meantime....💄👗👠💋

Going out is what people do. Once I started presenting completely, I realized there was too much work involved to not take advantage of it. So off I went! Once I got out, I discovered that people are truly good. Each and every time I went out, I met someone that treated me well, or provided me with an unbelievable experience. So now I go out all the time, it's just what I do. I seek friendships, as well as seeking unique experiences (unique to me as male). It was never about making a statement or getting a reaction, that's not me. It's about making connections that I simply cannot do as a man. It has become very social for me and allowed me to grow and flourish as a human being, one who is mostly male but enjoys being female as well. We all are different and this CD thing is different for all of us, but for me, being out is the single most joyful thing (outside of time spent with family) that I can do.

We are all social animals and crave the interaction.
Being able to express this side of ourselves and do so is an even stronger urge.

I can't make it further than my mailbox without my heart pounding through my chest.

And my mailbox is right outside my front door.

I've done a couple drives to the post office drop down the street, but last time out there were too many people around...even at midnight.

I might need a change in venue.

part of it for me was spending all this money on clothing and not having enough time to wear it. bras helped me with the courage part. I'd started wearing bras under t shirts in warm weather. I feel like they are very noticeable yet no snickers or anything that I've known about. that gave me courage to wear yoga pants, dresses, skirts, and jeans. i tend to wear men's shirts so far. I havnt really had a desire for women's tops. I like a casual graphic tee and skirt look like my profile pic

As Nadine rightly said, it's not wrong, however it is largely misunderstood, people make assumptions and may very quickly label you as gay or weird, I go out and the main thing is attitude, you have to go out with a "who cares" frame of mind, if you can master that you're all set, you will be made, young children and teen boys are the worst, most adults will be too wrapped up in their own little worlds to notice or even care, it is becoming more socially acceptable, albeit slowly, taking that first few steps into the big wide world is the hardest part, once you're out you'll wonder why you didn't do it ages ago.

The first time I went out fully dressed was at 18 for a Halloween party at college. After much preparation I nearly backed out. I was nervous. I went through with it and it turned out to be a wonderful, life changing experience. I met up with other dressers there and go to dress up and party with them often.

I've also been out in other venues, fully and partially dressed. It's fun and everyone should try it.