We thought you were a girl!

I have been living full time as a woman for nine months now, and have been mostly female socially since mid 2014. I pass for a cisgender woman pretty well, both visually and with my speaking voice. I also happen to belong to the Society for Creative Anachronism, and this weekend I was at one of their larger events, dressed like a medieval lady in my persona as ‘the Honorable Lady Katherine Fox ‘, and was in charge of an ‘activity area’ which has a safety rope separating spectators from participants. While someone else directed the activity of the participants, it was my job to control access, ensure things not in the other organizer’s or participants’ line of sight remained safe, and to explain the activity to spectators and possible participants. We also had a darts game set up, on the other end of my table, which anyone could play.

Then two kids, a boy and a girl, both about ten to twelve, tried to sneak under the safety rope to get a closer look. They were not endangering themselves or others, quite yet, but needed to be headed off before things got dangerous. I instinctively shouted, “Hey!” to get their attention, but I failed to modulate my voice in my usual female tones. So my shout sounded much more male than the conversational female voice I had been using moments earlier to those same two kids and several adults.

The girl whipped her head around and stared at me, exclaiming, “We thought you were a girl!”

Without missing a beat, I calmly smiled at her and replied, “I am a girl. I wasn’t always a girl, but I saw a doctor, and I got better.”

She cocked her head, and you could almost see the smoke coming out of her ears as she tried, and failed, to make sense of what I had said. She apparently gave it up as ‘an adult thing I don’t understand’, and replied softly, “Oh! Ummm, may I play darts... Ma’am?”

I said she could, and provided her with a set of darts and explained how we play the game. She continued to treat me as any other female, though she did at one point say hesitantly, “You did sound a lot like a boy, though.” I just smiled again, said, ”Yeah, sometimes I do.”, and that was that. She played for a while longer, and then thanked me politely and went off to another activity with what I assume had been her brother.

Nice interaction. I have found any prejudice children exhibit is usually learned from the adults around them. Seems her parents have done a good job.

Yep, if you explain things to kids in a matter of fact way, they tend to be receptive to new ideas. As Stephanie points out, any animosities are learned behavior and early interactions such as Ceera describes can have lasting positive effects.

So Ceera, learn to play nicely with the other children and don't shout! Or you'll end up on the naughty step!

Ceera, Just shows that kids are honest and accepting. Great story.

Just goes to show that you can't always hide your past.

I have a little reversion now and then when I have to move quickly to control a situation.

Ceera.
What a cute story, and a great response. You gave her (and probably her 'partner in crime' ) something to think about. She may not have deciphered what you told her at the time, but some day, when she hears the word transgender, she will put two and two together. Most importantly, when she figures it out, she will immediately have a positive perception of transgender people because of her interaction with you.
-peace
-Gracie

Sometimes it is just those little moments where it makes our day and influences positively someone else's! Thanks for sharing.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ceera

I calmly smiled at her and replied, “I am a girl. I wasn’t always a girl, but I saw a doctor, and I got better.”

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OMG I love that response! Mind if I save it for future use?

Robertacd, feel free! I decided a while ago that would be my likely reply if anyone questions my gender.