I know it hard to go out dressed I did a long time just to see what it was like an if someone wood tell the difference an know so what maid all of:) you do it I did just to see if I cood
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I know it hard to go out dressed I did a long time just to see what it was like an if someone wood tell the difference an know so what maid all of:) you do it I did just to see if I cood
Hi Lori
The challenge is that first step as you know. With me I could not stand being stuck indoors, so I had to get out. Eventually things evolved from there. This now means going out is normal for me.
It was not a quick process but there were little steps I could take along the way.
I'm going to agree with Shelly, in fact to go further being in the closet was more like solitary confinement for me . I'm out and that's it . Look at it this way no one on this Earth is perfect , most of us have a hang up about something . I personally hate my ears , no big deal to some but at least I can wear a wig and earrings to do a cover up job. What other people think is based very much on your own attitude , try and look your best without going OTT , be confident with it despite those little inner niggles and be pleasant and open with people . If they don't respond to that then just accept they have more of a problem than you do , it's for them to get over that and not your problem .
As for telling the difference , between what ? You are a CDer possibly TG not a GG we all know that and so do they , I have been called a convincing woman , do I pass well what as ? That question doesn't have a definite answer , to some you look acceptable enough so as not to offend anyone , you can walk out in public and not raise too many eyebrows , I'm sure that is what most here would be more than happy to do . Don't forget there many people who haven't seen a CDer in reality , so yes they will look and maybe look again, most don't mean to be offensive or critical it's more out of rarity value , OK you may hear , " Did you see that, !" or the odd snigger, hopefully a wow ! We are an unknown minority that will always attract attention , if you can't come to terms with that then going out might take longer if at all .
Lori,
I'm like Shelly. I needed to take things beyond the front door. I needed to know what it felt like to be outside, feel the wind around my legs, walk more than a few feet around the house.
It took many years of late night drives, ever longer walks to the postbox, late night window shopping before I really went out, in daylight, and mixed with the muggles.
Once was enough to get me hooked and I've been going out, albeit fairly irregularly, ever since.
I am a closet crossdresser. I am happy to keep it that way. I feel the need to dress and get out. It may be sitting on the porch at night or when I get real brave take a drive. I don't understand it, but I enjoy it. Walking around the yard dressed is very satisfying.
Going out is so good- you finally realize you are ok and life not only doesn't end, there is room to live. It is habit forming!
Ok- obviously it is also something people don't understand readily- it is not 'what everyone is doing' and therefore tends to be classified as questionable, and subject to abusive behavior if that is 'what everybody is doing'.
The safe path I find is to pass through the crowds without engaging, just being peacefully me. It is very rare for ordinary people to attack a person who is not trying to interact with them. Not unheard of, as idle gangs can pick up on off-brand targets- but we can avoid those situations, and we should.
In stores, at least in tourist areas, the clerks are trained to just accept all the strange foreigners who arrive, and we fall in that category. If we are normal and not trying to disguise our voice or coquettish, or trying to get them to react to us as women, then it is easy for them to do what they normally do, and I find that is much more satisfying than I thought. It really feels good, and kind of establishes the fact that there is a normal space to live as a CD.
Lori,
I think we all tried it to see if we could.
It does make a difference and to go outside for the first time is invigorating.
You should try more often and get to feel the freedom it brings.
I admire all of you who are brave enough to dress and go out. As for me it is still just a dream that hopefully will come true for me some day. Right now I am standing in the closet behind the rack of clothes whispering to myself and holding onto the doorknob firmly. (but feeling wonderful being Olivia Lauren!)
(((((hugs))))), Olivia
Olivia,
Never say never !!
I've been out just over three years now, I never thought it could happen . That's the true value of this forum and meeting a good friend in reality .
My avatar picture would have been an impossible dream when I joined the forum , to sit calmly in a hotel lounge and have some pictures taken with the public passing by , it only happens to other luckier girls on the forum, not me ! Well it has and boy does it feel good !
Teresa, you are lovely. I will promise you that one day I will open the closet door and step out. As of now I’m just enjoying the whole process of becoming Olivia.
I have never had a problem with shopping for clothes or shoes. I just walk in make my selection and pay for it with my head held high. A few weeks ag I very nervously went wig shopping for a new wig. I didn’t know what to expect. The owner of the shop couldn’t have been more helpful and understanding. She will always get my business. I just wish that I had had the courage to dress fully as Olivia when I had the wig fitting. Maybe next time.
(((((hugs))))), Olivia
I'll be in Las Vegas for DLV this time next month, and I plan to be fully girly the whole time. Being with someone (a sister) really boosts my determination. When I get home, I feel confident that I will go out alone.
My makeup takes 3 hours. Most of this time are the foundations, etc. Practice is the key I guess, more often you do it better and faster it becomes. If you look in the mirror and are fully satisfied then you ready to go. If not then work on it until is ready. My biggest problem was to get the figure worked out. Lots of foam to get it right. Then get a 100mil shot of vodka to kill the stress and go.Quote:
Originally Posted by Olivia Lauren
My opportunity is just round the corner. I plan to travel to a large supermarket out of town and depending on how that goes then go into the towns high street.Quote:
Originally Posted by Teresa
I'm nervous but so excited, feels like a new chapter.
A year and a half ago my wife was at work for the entire evening. Of course I took the opportunity to dress. I suddenly got the most overwhelming urge to go for a drive as Michelle. So, I did. It was dark. I was very careful going to my car. Never thought for one minute about the possibility that someone would see this woman driving my car and mention it to my wife. (we live in a relatively small city and know quite a few people) Totally enveloped by "pink fog" and not a care in the world. I even stopped on a side street, got out and walked a half block in the darkness. It felt exhilarating. Home I went, got changed and that was it. I haven't been out since. I've come so close a few times. This morning the urge is very strong but I'm keeping it at bay. We have a closed in front porch and occasionally I'll walk out there.
Sometimes I fantasize about what I would be like to just walk out to my car in broad daylight, get in, go for a drive to the mall and go shopping. Or just go for a drive.
One day.
Try it you'll like it, maybe not. You should choose your battles wisely, like a drive first, a walk in a park (an empty park) then a store or the post office. I prefer to go out in daylight just seems safer. I may be a little different once I went out, I kind of got it out of my system I cut way back and usually just go to support group once a month.