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I stopped at a 7 11 the other day on the way to work, Saw another like me, I guess I was looking too hard or she was freeked out by my uniform, I would have liked to talk for a little bit, has this ever happened to you, you see another you want to have a positive reaction but her perception of you is more or less oh no that dude clocked me.
I honestly can't remember seeing any CDer when I was out anywhere. Maybe I have and they were very skilled at blending in
so I didn't notice ?? Like others have said here before probably best not to go up and talk with them as you would really put them
on the spot.
I never see other CDers. My rule is: "If you're presenting as a woman, then you are a woman. If you're presenting as a man, then you are a man." Telling someone that you know they're not what they pretend to be is just plain rude. No matter what you're talking about.
Once while shopping out of town at a north Jersey mall, I spotted what I thought might possibly be a CD.
Even though she looked very feminine and carried herself very well, there was something about her.
About 6 moths later I was at an east coast CD weekend and, there she was.
After talking to her briefly, I learned that she was indeed from the N jersey area.
I never let on that I clocked her that day at the mall as I did not want her to get her paranoid, even if she had no reason to be.
The only other time was a local mall when I spotted an obvious CD with an obvious GG walking across the parking lot to the mall entrance.
Of course, I never engaged them for the same reason.
I generally endorse Cynthia's rule. I'll add one exception, having just come back from a week in Provincetown (a gay resort in Massachusetts.) If you're in a place where the transgender/crossdresser crowd is comfortable and accepted, it's probably OK to approach as long as they return your eye contact and smile. I had lots of lovely interactions with all kinds of people while dining out or just walking down the street (or in the parade :) ) But even in PTown there are people who want to have their space -- if they avoid eye contact, leave them alone. If you're that anxious to talk, go put on your big girl clothes, go out and engage the public yourself; don't force them out.
Extremely seldom and rare. But, once, in 1990, before i was into this, a blonde lady walked up to me as i was working on my car, and i could tell it was the dresser in the next rooming house, who rented a room i used to rent. I just said it was a nice day to work on the car.
Actually, I see 30 of them every day Monday thru Saturday and sometimes Sunday. They work for me.
That's kind of interesting Jorja, what kind of work do y'all do?
And what the heck is a "gurl" anyway? Who came up with that word?
Yes, but I did not approach or engage them in conversation. I would find that presumptuous. And, forgive me, but I detest the term 'gurls'.
I saw a CD and her wife/girlfriend at restaurant in Claremont NC a few years ago.
No one was gawking at her.
I left them alone to enjoy their meal.
That's awesome Jorja, an advocate who 'walks the talk'...I mean your hiring practices...the working 7 days a week thing, yikes! LOL 😀Quote:
Originally Posted by Jorja
That is the construction industry for ya, work while the sun shines and cover it up and still work when it rains. Time is money!
I see some of us around town fairly often. In book stores, malls, and shopping centers. In the salon where I get my hair recolored. In discount shores like Nordstrom's Rack. All over the place. Some I can barely clock, others are pretty obvious, to me at least. But my town is pretty open and accepting. Usually I just treat them like any other lady I might encounter randomly. Most of them seem intent on going about their business with minimal interaction with others, so I leave them alone, and don't try to let them know I noticed them.
None of the above includes the TG regulars at the club I go to on most Saturday nights. Now those girls I know I can approach and chat up, because the club is that sort of place - you don't go there hoping to be ignored. :) It's a friendly, sociable and accepting environment for anyone anywhere in the LGBTQ spectrum, or any straight folks who like visiting politely.
I have spotted a few CDs while out and about shopping -- several times at the grocery store, at least once in a home improvement box store. There used to be a TG hairdresser working in the salon where I had my nails done every two weeks. We were pretty much from different planets in terms of background and interests, but we had several casual conversations.
- Diane
To my knowledge, no, I have not.
It surprises me when other members post about seeing crossdressers every day when out. The only one I have ever seen while out is me, in a mirror. I did see what was apparently a transsexual woman working in a beauty school where my wife and I went once. She had a rack to die for but she also had an adams apple and was probably six feet tall.
Before I get any snippy replies, I do get out quite frequently and go to malls, grocery stores, and other "normal" places. I don't go to gay bars (or any bars) so perhaps this is where all the crossdressers are hanging out.
That's what I would have done but she ran ran out, I really hope I didn't trample her cloud too much.
I know gurl can have some negativity behind it, I see it like this by taking that word and using it in my lexicon in a positive way I take the word and throw it back at all those who would use it in a negative way. So if you have been offended my apologies, I was trying to be empowered
Other than the one CD that I had a one-time-only sexual experience with, I can only remember having seen one other CD out in public. At least I'm pretty sure she was a CD--it's hard to be totally certain, because some women do have some non-feminine characteristics. She was very young--no more than early 20s, I'd say, and although she was tastefully and attractively dressed, and reasonably credibly as female, there was some undefinable thing about her that made me think, "Omigod, that's a CD." She was obviously very uneasy--maybe that was part of what made her stand out as maybe not what she seemed, as if she were saying to herself, "What the hell am I doing here ... this is scary ... people are looking at me ... I wish I could hide somehow." I wanted to say something to her, but her nervousness was part of what was a barrier to my doing so. Also, I thought, "Sure, I THINK she's a guy, and I'm maybe 98% certain, but what if I'm wrong." It's like the classic case of seeing a woman who is obviously pregnant, so you say something about it, and it turns out that she's just struggling with a weight problem. Eek!
In my small city I've seen one cross dresser twice, and, another once. I did not see any reason to interrupt their day. If there was some reason to make eye contact, as in passing each other, maybe I would have nodded "good morning," but, I do that with everyone. Most people in my small city exchange pleasantries when passing in the street.
I haven't seen any for over a year now but I have seen my fair share of them around these parts. What I don't understand are the four of them that have heavy bears and dress up like sissies or little girls. I have never talked to them. There are a few others I have seen out shopping and just plain walking around. Never talked to any of those either. I only tried talking to one but she suspected there was something up with me and hurriedly left my presence.
First, it can only be written that way. In real situations it is pronounced the same as "girl". As for empowerment. IT does indicate that the T world is 1) different, that we aren't real. and 2) immature. That would be true using "girl" also. I have never understood how any group can take a word that is derogatory or demeaning and say "If I use it, I'm empowering myself" Seems you are just propagating it and feeding the word to keep it alive. With most words like this, people who aren't part of the community tend to "steal" them to try and fit in your group, thus the empowerment is lostQuote:
Originally Posted by Elli87
I have seen others although not often. Have never approached but I would love to just to make a friend. We need an international sign or word or something so we know our tribe when we see them.
Oh, please... has "gurl" become politically incorrect now? I always found it such a handy term. :( We need more words to apply to us, not fewer.
I live near New Orleans - happens all the time down here!
Bingo"dingdingdingdingding" Free masons have signals, gangbangers have signals, Death people have signals, why not us?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sallee
ok I don't know anybody who isn't into our scene that wants to hang out with me while I do my nails or put on make up. People re appropriate words all the time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorileah
This is apparently the year of the "Politically Correct". One has to tread on egg shells to avoid offending someone. I offended a member the other day with a word and she felt compelled to tell us all about it.
I don't use the term "gurl" personally but I'm not going to get upset enough about it to make a scene. I think the term"crossdresser" works as well or better and my computer's dictionary doesn't flag it as misspelled.
I live just north of Dupont Circle in a section of DC with a lot of clubs and bars. From my vantage point, endrab, I probably see 2-3 gurls on any given weekend. My fiancee is the one who usually clocks them and mentions it.
Chances are if you spend a lot of time in a large city, you will see CDers dressed. You seem them all the time dressed in mens clothes lol. I do occasionally see someone dressed in larger malls. I saw someone when I was vacationing in Salem Mass. I never attempt to make any contact or make any comments. I just let them go about their day.
Not often, I must be selectively blind. :)
I am too busy looking at what other girls are wearing and how do they get to look like they do.
I've had a crossdresser approach me, while they were in super secret closeted guy mode. He quietly told me about how he likes to wear womens cloths sometimes too, or do his nails.
Not so good for me though to have people thinking I am a crossdresser too. Just another guy in a dress to play spot the tranny with, right?
How do you know the woman in the 7 11 was really a crossdresser like you?
I have seen others. Only if it was pretty obvious though. Never approached anyone or spoke to anyone though. Had a job several years ago in which i had to transport some to a party. They were not so obvious, until they spoke. That gave it away. I was impresssed with their skills. Looked better than some GG's I have seen.
your right no one can be as awesome as me, but she sure did tryQuote:
Originally Posted by arbon
When I worked in shopping center in Florida, I went to work at 6am in the dark. Several times there was a crossdresser who would get out of "Her" car and just walk around and have a smoke. One time I tried to approach "her" to say hello and she panicked and ran back to the car and took off.
I can't stand the PC narrative and refuse to abide by it. I didn't even know "gurl" had any sort of negative connotation.Quote:
Originally Posted by Krisi
As far as the thread topic goes,
Not that I've noticed. However, apparently there's some pretty popular gay bars and a Drag Show in the closest city to me.
Actually, I ran into full T-Girl a few years ago. She was a diva, and not in a good way. >->
I see them all the time.....but that could be I hang out with them, even in guy mode LOL........but seriously I have seen a few, most resent was in a thrift store , another in the mall...seen a few hobbling hunchbacks in nyc , one or 2 at str8 bars.....they are out there....
Yes i have. Rarely, but i have seen other cd'ers. It was kinda before i really accepted myself as one too but of course i was interested by it. I dont think i would approach another cd'er in the street unless i had a reason to talk to them though..
Cynthia, I agree. This is just how I -- and I assume others -- want to be treated.Quote:
Originally Posted by CynthiaD
If I saw what I thought was a crossdresser in public, I would never think of approaching her to talk about it. Suppose she was just an ugly woman? That would be insulting and embarrassing for both of us. I think most of us who try to look and act like women want to be treated like a woman and strangers (men) don't usually walk up to a woman and start a conversation.
If I saw an obvious "man in a dress", I wouldn't comment either. To me, that's a person looking for attention. He's not going to get it from me.
I have seen three at different times at airports two looked quite good one I felt bad for her , once I was with my SO and she pointed the person out to me ( she knows ) and last year there was a CD sitting about ten feet away from us at a hotel bar on her own at London Airport and my SO didn't notice the only reason she caught my eye was the dress she was wearing short and fancy I didn't say anything
, I do think we take more notice than most people I'm always looking at women to help my presentation
There's a girl in work that I know is trans, but she passes so well you could never tell. I don't think more than a couple of other people in the office know her story.
I feel a lot of envy when I see her, to be honest. I love her style and wish I'd had the balls, so to speak, when I was younger.
When it comes to "CDer spotting", sometimes the devil is in the details. I once spotted a "sister" in a Sears outlet store browsing the same clearance racks I was. She was middle-aged and presenting very well overall, having clearly taken great pains to be as passable as possible. But two things quickly awakened my spidey senses and set off the "tranny alarm" - she was wearing a wig identical to the iconic hairstyle favored by actress Rose Marie who played side-kick Sally Rogers in the old Dick van Dyke sitcom of the '60's - right down to the little black bows on either side of her head (a costume store find, perhaps?)...and totally out of style by then. The other clue was that while she had clearly shaved her hands, part of her wrists still protruded from her blouse, showing evidence of arms that were as hairy as those of an orangutan. Not a good look...jarring, in fact, given the juxtaposition.
I have come across quite a few more CDers besides her in my time - both when I have been out en femme and when I was in drab. Perhaps I should qualify that statement, though - those whom I was aware of, and who knows how many others flew under my radar during the same time because they were just so darn good at passing even though I - as a member of the tribe - generally have a pretty good idea of what tell-tale signs to look for. Conversely, I have seen my fair share of very masculine looking women as well which then got me to thinking "Hmmm...?", but I'll never know that for sure either.
But like many others here, I also subscribe to the philosophy of letting fellow Cders roam freely and naturally in the wild and without imposing myself on them - even if well-intentioned. "Do unto others...", and all that...