Very strange passing experience

Had the strangest sort of ‘Passing’ happen to me Wednesday night.

Twice a month I go with several of my friends to a particular bar, to play darts. It is largely a sports bar, popular with the 20’s to 40’s crowd. They open up a back room for us, and we play competitively in a regional competition run by a history club we all belong to. When I started doing this, back in 2016, it was one of the few social things I still did as a male. But soon I started going exclusively as a woman, and the staff and other customers were very accepting. The bottom line here is that it is a place where I am a ‘regular’, and feel very comfortable being myself. I come out of the back to the main bar several times during these nights to order food and drinks. I pass quite well now, often chatting casually with strangers there, who consistently accept me as if I was a cisgender woman.

But this last time took it to a new level...

I came out to the main bar to get refills for drinks. The lady bartender who had opened my tab was at the far end of the bar, and I went to an open spot halfway to her and gave her my order. Just in front of her was a man perhaps in his early 30’s and a lady in her late 20’s, having drinks together. Nice looking couple, but not anyone I know. Neither looked at all intoxicated. Then the guy looks right at me, over his lady friend’s shoulder, smiles at me and makes eye contact with me, and then says quietly to his date, “My ex just stepped up to the bar.” I was politely smiling back at him when he said that, and was too stunned to comment. I glanced behind me, and verified I was the only lady at the bar other than his date! I just shrugged off, collected my drinks, and returned to the back room.

An hour or so later, while settling my tab at the bar, that same guy walked right up to me, as if he knew me quite well, shook my hand, and said, “You have a nice night, now.” He then quickly said goodbye to several others, and left.

So, okay... Apparently this guy not only was certain I was a cisgender woman, but he thought I was a former steady girlfriend or ex-wife? The only reason I can think of for him to mention an “ex” to his date was in case that ex might walk up and start chatting with them. Better for the date to be forewarned that a female on past familiar terms might intrude? And then his parting greeting... as if thanking me for being civil and not interrupting his date?

So I was mistaken not only for a cisgender woman, but for someone he presumably knew quite well? Wow...