Glad I did not...do two things

I was going to go dressed to work as a pretty witch (reddish wig, knee high black skirt, green tights & assessories) but after clinicals I had to drive back home the hour and I could barely make it to work on time anyways. The DON had some girls change out of thier leggings and shorts "since it was so inappropriate" for the older people at the nursing home. They really were not at all in mosts' opinions. I am sure if I were to have showed up as planned that I would have also been asked to change. Oh...BTW a DON is a Director of Nursing.:eek: give me a break...Its Halloween..

Also, I have a good nursing student friend. We went out to lunch yesterday and we always talk about anything. I almost confided in her about the Cding, but something told me not to yet. Today we seen 2 witches come out of human resources. I said that I was going to dress up as a witch like "that one"(and she was hot!, Black outfit/skirt with orange tights and orange assessories!)...to cut story short, I said, "No, like the one in the skirt, not like the one in the pants...you know its Halloween so its okay you know"...she said "Oh no its not (okay)!" I am a bit disappointed, I thought I could discuss anything with her,...I guess not.

Oh welll...I probably should have made two seperate posts...:)

What a bummer. On both counts but more so on the second one with the friend. I don't see why it wouldn't be ok but apparently her brainwashing of what is right and wrong has been very good. It's halloween, I don't see why it would be wrong but I certainly wouldn't confide in her anytime soon if ever.

It's funny because the people we think will be the most accepting sometimes turns out they are the least. I told a few people I was dressing for halloween and they all dared me to, little do they know that I did ;)

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Originally Posted by AmandaQ

... Oh...BTW a DON is a Director of Nursing.:eek: give me a break...Its Halloween...

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Thanks for clarifying...

...and here I thought that DON was going to make you an offer to crossdress you couldn't refuse ;).

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Originally Posted by Miss Joanne

What a bummer. On both counts but more so on the second one with the friend. I don't see why it wouldn't be ok but apparently her brainwashing of what is right and wrong has been very good. It's halloween, I don't see why it would be wrong but I certainly wouldn't confide in her anytime soon if ever.

It's funny because the people we think will be the most accepting sometimes turns out they are the least. I told a few people I was dressing for halloween and they all dared me to, little do they know that I did ;)

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"It's funny because the people we think will be the most accepting sometimes turns out they are the least" yes, thats the most disappointing part!

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Originally Posted by AmandaQ

yes, thats the most disappointing part!

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Don't let it get you down though, there's a flip side to that coin too. The ones that you figure might freak out are the ones that accept and might even dress themselves. Though we are a bit more open about our dressing, we post here, we have came out to our SO's , we take pictures, etc, etc, etc, I often wonder how many girls are truly out there that never accept this side of themselves and are just dying to share it with someone. After all, it's always better to have some one that you can confide in so don't give up hope, it will come in the strangest of ways ;)

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Originally Posted by Miss Joanne

so don't give up hope, it will come in the strangest of ways ;)

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You better believe it. My X outed me to everyone out of spite. Surprisingly enough a good friend of mine told me he didn't care that I CDed we would still be friends. That is the last time he talked to me. In fact he would go out of his way to avoid me. On the other hand I have a uncle that is very bigoted and now we get along better than ever. Go figure.

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Originally Posted by Brianna612

You better believe it. My X outed me to everyone out of spite. Surprisingly enough a good friend of mine told me he didn't care that I CDed we would still be friends. That is the last time he talked to me. In fact he would go out of his way to avoid me. On the other hand I have a uncle that is very bigoted and now we get along better than ever. Go figure.

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Sorry to hear that Brianna. It sucks when someone says one thing but totally does the opposite. If he was a true friend, nothing would matter or come between you. At least you know who is who in all of this, a lot of us are still trying to figure all of that out and may or may not ever do so.

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Originally Posted by Miss Joanne

Don't let it get you down though, there's a flip side to that coin too. The ones that you figure might freak out are the ones that accept and might even dress themselves. Though we are a bit more open about our dressing, we post here, we have came out to our SO's , we take pictures, etc, etc, etc, I often wonder how many girls are truly out there that never accept this side of themselves and are just dying to share it with someone. After all, it's always better to have some one that you can confide in so don't give up hope, it will come in the strangest of ways ;)

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Absolutely...many more are probably dying to confide in someone than we could imagine. BTW this friend is a GG about 20 yrs younger than I, recently engaged (3rd or 4th major relationship) but we are EXTREMELY! attracted to each other. A line in bold print has been drawn though and it has been adhered to so far! I am trying to ease away without being too obvious, we got too close before I (and/or we) realized it.

Work is the place to be boring...you want to be known for being a good worker. People are also accepting or not given the way you say it...I found people are more unaccepting if you tell them you want to dress as a woman, but if you frame it as, a dare, they will embrace the idea. If you say, 'my ex girlfriend wanted to dress me up as a witch one year, but I thought I would be too scarry'...you will get a more positive response. I think it comes down to the initial image you paint... guy fetish vs fun game to play...

Amanda - You made good decisions to be careful and should be satisfied with your intuition, not disappointed. Good for you. there always will ne opportunities to dress and other friends to confide in. happy Halloween.

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Originally Posted by heatherdress

Amanda - You made good decisions to be careful and should be satisfied with your intuition, not disappointed. Good for you. there always will ne opportunities to dress and other friends to confide in. happy Halloween.

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I am extremely disappointed..but within it all satisfied that I now know something....its like WTF, she told me practicaly anything was okay as long as honestly we put it out there! She is even not a very good looking girl. Looking back I say our personalities got the best of us and many times the line got so close to being crossed. Now I am wondering what her real motives were/are. Its like today as I am sitting here thinking, what the heck was I doing (with her)? This is the biggest heatbreak I had in a long long time...but as someone recently would put it..."self induced". I am dropping her like a hot potato...if I can.

What a tricky slippery slope.
I can see the Matron....DON. giving such a directive as some of the oldies would not be in the correct state of mind for Halloween.
The heads up on the friend and confidante, that is a little surprising, but better to find out sooner than later.

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Originally Posted by AmandaQ

............ The DON had some girls change out of thier leggings and shorts "since it was so inappropriate" for the older people at the nursing home. They really were not at all in mosts' opinions. .........

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I would like to think that the "older people at the nursing home" would be the main concern of the staff so the DON was right to be concerned.

As for your friend, now you know. But again, it could be the workplace concern, not anything against you dressing as a female witch outside of work.

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Originally Posted by linda allen

I would like to think that the "older people at the nursing home" would be the main concern of the staff so the DON was right to be concerned.

As for your friend, now you know. But again, it could be the workplace concern, not anything against you dressing as a female witch outside of work.

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The friend...fellow nursing student.

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Originally Posted by AmandaQ

The friend...fellow nursing student.

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Unless you're planning on being out to the world as a crossdresser or planning on transitioning, it's probably best to keep your dressing (and any other unconventional activities) away from your workplace. Just too much risk of problems.

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Originally Posted by linda allen

Unless you're planning on being out to the world as a crossdresser or planning on transitioning, it's probably best to keep your dressing (and any other unconventional activities) away from your workplace. Just too much risk of problems.

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True...but you know is was Halloween. Other than a few life circuntances in the way, I would out today. I am trying to find out a solution to them, if there is any.

Amanda: Just wondering after re-reading your original post.... is it possible that your friend meant it wasn't ok in the same vein as the D.O.N. i.e. not appropriate for the workplace? I am just speculating here but maybe they both have the opinion that nursing is a very serious field of work and any costumes are not appropriate for the workplace?
Maybe her attitude might be different if it were outside of work. You are probably better off not having said anything but before you close that door completely maybe you investigate to see if that is the case.
My experience is limited but the offices that I worked in allowed costumes to an extent; folks who worked in the office could dress as they pleased but salespeople who interacted with the public kept to the regular dress code.

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Originally Posted by VickysBFF

Amanda: Just wondering after re-reading your original post.... is it possible that your friend meant it wasn't ok in the same vein as the D.O.N. i.e. not appropriate for the workplace? I am just speculating here but maybe they both have the opinion that nursing is a very serious field of work and any costumes are not appropriate for the workplace?
Maybe her attitude might be different if it were outside of work. You are probably better off not having said anything but before you close that door completely maybe you investigate to see if that is the case.
My experience is limited but the offices that I worked in allowed costumes to an extent; folks who worked in the office could dress as they pleased but salespeople who interacted with the public kept to the regular dress code.

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No, the nursing student was not referring to getting dressed up at the hospital or school or anything. We were talking about me going home, dressing up and maybe handing out candy or make a trip thru Walmart or somewhere.... We are still hanging out, except this afternoon I said I could not. Next Monday our Psych nursing class is starting discussion of the parafilias. Crossdressing is not specifically mentioned in the book, but transvestitism is...even though I consider them two very different things. I am waiting to see her input in the discussions. Especially the what ifs... like, "say you come home and find you BF/Husband fully dressed as a woman...what would you do?" type of thing.

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Originally Posted by AmandaQ

True...but you know is was Halloween. Other than a few life circuntances in the way, I would out today. I am trying to find out a solution to them, if there is any.

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If I am understanding you, you work in a nursing home with elderly patients. I would expect that they expect to see you as a nurse or whatever your position is, not in a Halloween costume. Some might be fine with it, others would be confused by it.

Most employers expect their employees to take their jobs seriously so unless it was officially "costume day", costumes might br frowned upon. Especially the switch from boy to girl.

People didn't wear Halloween costumes to work where I used to work.

I wouldn't worry as a matter of fact I would be glad it happened like it did. The friend has only let you know where she stands on CDing or the like. What's the problem? Many of us live with a spouse or SO that feels the same way. We have friends that we know are not open to our interest and lifestyle, yet we consider them friends and even close friends. Then we have family that we sure can't pick but with the same feelings as she shared with you. No, instead of being offended by or even turnned off to being friends you should take this as a possitive learnning experiance and be glad you learned that she is not in a like mind or open to CDing. That simple.

Best to stay completely covered in the land of C-Diff anyway.

Yea. My mom is in a nursing home for 2 years now. I am going to visit again in a next week. She had a huge infection from C-Diff last year, could have lost her leg. Marsa. Dementia. But its boring at a nursing homes. Every day looks about the same. Bingo, TV, tropical fish to watch. Last year they had candy for the residents to pass out and the nursing and aides staff brought in their children to parade around in costume. They were in the main activity room near the lobby. And then the patients passed out candy and so forth. I don't remember any of the staff dressing up much--maybe the activities director was wearing some funny shoes and funny hat.

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Originally Posted by linda allen

If I am understanding you, you work in a nursing home with elderly patients. I would expect that they expect to see you as a nurse or whatever your position is, not in a Halloween costume. Some might be fine with it, others would be confused by it.

Most employers expect their employees to take their jobs seriously so unless it was officially "costume day", costumes might br frowned upon. Especially the switch from boy to girl.

People didn't wear Halloween costumes to work where I used to work.

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Yes it was an official "costume day". But something must have been said before hand, all the witches, vampiresses, etc had dresses or cloaks that practically drug on the floor...yuck! I go in mainly after hours and weekends and do my job. Usually all office people etc, are gone, so I do not always hear everything that I should.

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Originally Posted by franlee

I wouldn't worry as a matter of fact I would be glad it happened like it did. The friend has only let you know where she stands on CDing or the like. What's the problem? Many of us live with a spouse or SO that feels the same way. We have friends that we know are not open to our interest and lifestyle, yet we consider them friends and even close friends. Then we have family that we sure can't pick but with the same feelings as she shared with you. No, instead of being offended by or even turnned off to being friends you should take this as a possitive learnning experiance and be glad you learned that she is not in a like mind or open to CDing. That simple.

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Oh no...I may have thought of being offended at first, but, I am not offended, I just had to step back and reevaluate this rationally. Then I also seen something else totally unrelated to the CDing that should not be happening. We are way too connected emotionally for a normal "friends" realtionship. That woke me up to the common sense of easing back...I think it is best to gradually ease away from this rather than an abrupt way.