Starting back on HRT just because

May of 2020 I started estradiol and spironolactone. After two months I got nervous and I stopped. I'm no longer married.
I enjoy being around females and I love the female appearance. I'm not attracted to men I'm older I don't have a girlfriend but I have a girl that's really good friend of mine that knows about Denise. So I said why not I'm back on spironolactone and I just started the patches of estradiol. I had a lot of pretty girlfriend friends in my life,
yeah I had sex with some girls but like most men who boast of over 700 women in a lifetime I could count the different women I had sex with on one hand. I've always felt like a failure as a man and lately when I dress up as Denise I present really well. So I don't even care about having a sex with women again because I know it's going to happen to my genitalia it's going to shrink and not work anymore. Life is short I'm going out more dressed as a woman and it just feels right. Yes I want a girl in my life that I can hold and love . Even if it's a trans woman it doesn't matter if they had bottom surgery or not I want a affection. I've come a long way since crossdressing and now I've been living by myself for a year and a half my feminine wardrobe increase dramatically. I only wear panties anymore cuz it just feels right. Today is a sad day for me because I'm used to being good to a girl and cooking for them and treating them like the precious beings that we are

Welcome back to the fold. I always looked at those first couple of doctor visits as opportunities for a full stop in the the transition process. It's good to think about what you are heading into and what you might be leaving behind. I haven't had anyone special in my life since my wife passed away in the spring of 2013. I miss that, very much. But each time I stop to consider if I'm continuing on this path I realize I'm consistently closer to being happy and content than I've been in my life. I hope you find the things you need to find comfort, contentment and happiness.

Denise,
I'm not on hormones but I can still agree with may of your points but I still don't see a balance in your life . I'm not sure if you are expecting too much from hormones , perhaps you should just concentrate on one aspect of living comfortably fulltime , take one step at a time .

I would like a relationship which at the moment would be with a woman but I'm not letting it rule my life , just finding good friends I can trust is more important so I can build a new life , if something comes of that then so be it . My male parts don't worry me one way or the other , most of the time they're tucked well out the way and forgotten . I no longer really consider my clothes make me a crossdresser , if you're in transition it's not really dressing differently anymore but appropriately .

You can look at going out in two ways , being Denise just feels right the male version feels very wrong . I've reached the point now where I don't want to be seen in male mode , when I told my mother that she simply said , " Well don't do it anymore !"

While it seldom comes with cost, becoming who you really are is a reward that just can't be compared to anything else. Good luck on your journey, Denise.

Be the best you(Denise) you can be! Best wishes on your journey! Hugs Lana Mae

Thank you for all the kind responses I'll always be Me. I like fast cars and drag racing I also like feeling like Denise. Someday I'll find that special girl or trans woman that'll make me feel alive sometimes depression sucks, right now I order new Cat-Back system for my car and going to get new wheels and tires and concentrate on the weather getting better right now the Northeast is a s*** hole

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Today is a sad day for me because I'm used to being good to a girl and cooking for them and treating them like the precious beings that we are

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happy valentines denise....i going out on a limb here and ill presume you make yourself dinner, so you were being good to a girl and treating her like the precious being that we are, its a marathon not a sprint....:love:

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Originally Posted by DeniseNJ

....Today is a sad day for me because I'm used to being good to a girl and cooking for them and treating them like the precious beings that we are.... I like fast cars and drag racing I also like feeling like Denise...... I order new Cat-Back system for my car and going to get new wheels and tires and concentrate on the weather getting better....

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Denise, don't be in a funk darling, this "Hallmark Holiday" isn't nothing special...I don't celebrate it.
If someone loves there mate, they should show it everyday, not just on this V day.
Be glad you can be femme everyday, it's called freedom and you answer to no one but yourself!
And, there is nothing wrong mixing your hobbies when presenting as your feminine self.
I have a convertible sports car in my heated garage I like to show at car shows all over the country.
She's parked till the salt is off the streets and I work on the little things to make her pretty during the winter.
Ceramic coating, repaint the underbody, polish the calipers, and make her pretty. I underdress while in work sweats.
I have been to Blue Suede Shoe show in Tupelo, MCA at Niagara Falls, Booneborough Boogie Nationals, Mustang Stampede in Myrtle Beach, cruised the Tail of the Dragon, and on and on. Being at these shows in girl mode is cool because there are a lot of girls into the show car scene! These girls are pretty cool too! I imagine you see some drag racing girls out there. For me, cruising to a car show, cross country, in a skirt and high heels with my blouse buttoned down is kind of thrilling, like Thelma and Louise or Christy Brinkley driving a Lambo. Don't think about finding a soulmate, they usually find you! :heehee:

I've been on the estradiol patch two and a half months now. Along with spironolactone twice a day. I know I got to move forward and I got to be the woman I was meant to be. It just feels right being female