A big day for me

It's been a big day for me, and I know so many of you have been through similar things, so it's no big deal, but it is for me, and I wanted to share.

My wife has known about my desire to dress for a decade. She has always supported me, though she's never seen me and we're both okay with that. Nonetheless, I've always had trouble talking to her about it - mostly because I don't want to upset her, give her reason to worry about how far it will go etc, but also because I'm just plain embarrassed. I'm a capable person, in control of most things in my life, but I seemingly have no control over my desire to wear dresses.

But the internal dialogue is killing me. Christmas and COVID have made it hard to find time to be me, as have an ever maturing family (who stay up later than me now). Opportunities to express myself have dried up and the inner angst has been very hard. And I realised how lonely it is to carry such a burden.

So I was a big girl today and told her how I was feeling. As much as anything, I simply wanted to share the crazy anxiety I carry, and tell her what I was feeling. I'm terribly embarrassed that it has taken me so long to do so to the person I love and trust more than anyone. It's a shame I have trouble reconciling.

And of course, she was amazing. She told me her anxieties too, and that she loves me no matter what, and that she understands I have needs that won't go away. She offered me only support and kindness.

She found me out years ago - not the way I wanted, but through a mistake when I'd been too afraid to tell her. It is the one thing in my life I'd change above all others. I can't tell you how much I regret that mistake.

Tonight she's encouraged me to have some alone time. So here I sit, as I write, wearing a gorgeous cocktail dress and heels, drinking a beautiful glass of champaign, and feeling how truly lucky I am to have someone like her in my life.

Thank you for sharing what you are going through, I can really understand as I am going through a similar situation with the same anxiety and feelings. Glad you were able to find time for yourself! And I hope you enjoyed every moment!!!!

Simone,
It is a big deal because it could have gone so badly wrong and you may have gone deeper into the closet , the important point is she listened and understood how you feel , as others will probably suggets don't try and rush things , given time it will work in your favour . As she said she has her own problems whether that meant you or other issues in her life , we mustn't forget women carry quite a load much of the time and it's not always about us .

Also good to see an Aussie on the forum we have lost some great members from down under !!

Yes, that is big day! Congratulations on talking about it! That is a big step.

Marion

You have a loving wife who is taking care of you. Be there for her when she needs it and your couple will blossom.

Being open and honest with your wife is a great thing. It is not an easy thing but it appears you are making good choices for you and your wife. Best wishes to you both.

I love it! What a wonderful experience and you have a terrific wife. Many of us know how hard it is to talk about this side of us but you did and it worked out as good as possible. Lucky you!

I?m so glad it went well for you. To have an accepting wife is a amazing and wonderful thing. Treasure her.

Enjoy your time dressed you are incredibly fortunate to have such an understanding wife. I understand your comment on being embarrassed to discuss your desire to wear women?s clothing it?s a power urge and hard to explain.

Not just a BIG day but a GREAT day! Keep communication open and show your wife you love her for all of this! Best wishes on your journey! Hugs Lana Mae

So can you dress around her?

Alone time is one thing but dressing in normal situations is so much better.

Hint: Not in a cocktail dress, wear clothes similar to what she is wearing.

Simone,

I was concerned at first when I saw the time of your post, and your drinking Champagne at 4:58 AM. Then I realized that you are Down Under. Goes to prove that it's always 5 o'clock somewhere!

On a serious note, I am happy (and a little jealous) that you were able to share, and have a supportive spouse. Keep talking!

Happy to hear it went well for you. The covid lockdowns have changed so many peoples' schedules so there is no privacy anymore for many. Nice to read of an understanding wife even though she chooses to not participate. Envious, I am.

Congrats, Simone! I think u R very lucky indeed! :thumbsup:

And, yes, I did go thru something similar.:straightface:

When I finally confessed to my now ex. Who would have used my dressing against me in court during our divorce proceedings if she could have!:devil:

Simone, that is fantastic. I am still renegotiating space for this aspect of me due to Covid-19, and it's encouraging to see that your wife is so accepting. Enjoy!

Homerun....and enjoy the quality time together...

I have a lot of the same situations as you mainly she is ok with me dressing but just don't want to see it. I understand that. We came up to a good agreement that i can under dress some of the time when at home she don' t have to know about it but is aware of it. It help to take the edge off it until you have some lone time.

Hi,
I "came out"a while back &while there was questions it ended up with --"its you being you" I am a closet dresser so i dress of an evening, the other night it was a pair of p.u tight leggings, long cowel neck jersey, 3"heeled ankle boots &wig (wig was essential--kept my head warm :-) )&so we sat With the "boss"watching t,v, &me on here.One thing i will say --moderate if needs be, that is (for me) have a couple of days /evenings "dressed" &spend the other days in "drab"--should you dress 24/7it MIGHT get her worried that you are thinking of transitioning.....
Wife came home the other afternoon while i was trying out putting lipstick on She took one look &burst out laughing(as i did !) so two things be prepared to share& laugh at yourself.....
Those of us who have ecceptance walk with the Gods--just watch out for cracks in the path.....
Liz
p.s.-Champers--what happened to a Schooner of Lager or a tinnie or two--seems we are going posh in Brisie....... :-)

What a lovely turn of events. I am glad for the understanding she is giving. Happy new year.

Wonderful story Simone, good for you
It was heart warming to read

Hi Simone,

What a wonderful story! You are so fortunate to have such a wonderful wife. Thank you for sharing!

Simon, it sounds to me like you should see if she would be willing to have you dress around her. I realize to some point it is not a big deal, but I dress most evenings and my wife and I sit and talk and watch a bit of TV. Before bed she will scoot over, maybe sit on my lap and we will cuddle for a while, although she give me a bit of loving crap about my boobs, especially if I am wearing the big girls.

We did DADT for a couple years, then it turned to don't worry if you are dressed, but I prefer not to see it, so just change clothes when I show up, to you are dressed and don't bother to change to the point that I dress when ever I want. It has gotten to the point that she expects me to go "full on" Saturday evening and she will dress up too and we have a "girls night".