Vacation bust

Just got back from a vacation with CD opportunities, that turned out to be a bust. My wife and I decided to do a last minute vacation. We discussed several opportunities that I could have to CD and under dress. However upon arrival anxiety took over both of us at different times and opportunity went to waste. While I got limited opportunities to under dress, wear women?s jeans, sport bras, bralettes, nightgowns and of course my panties. Many times it caused second guessing as we went on a cruise. Some of the crowd felt judgmental. While I?m sure most of that was in our minds, I didn?t want to embarrass or humiliate my wife. However I came back frustrated off all the missed opportunities of what I could have done or what we talked about before we went on our cruise. Toes were painted, but I kept my socks on at all times as she was fearful of what someone may say? My thought process was we were out of state with strangers that we will never meet again. Came back from our vacation with regrets and the desire of missing out of all the opportunities. Now I want more and it has caused a little tension between us. She is very supportive at home and encourages me to take advantage of the opportunities I have there. But is it bad that I want to be free and live outside of my house. I?m tired of working off what everyone else may think. I love her for her support so far, but an I wrong for wanting, hoping, and desiring more outside of the house. This trip was planned for these opportunities and she panicked with worries of what others might think. It will be a while before I/we get this opportunity again. I should be happy and grateful for the little things I had, but my desire to do more and be free is all that?s on my mind.

No, you are not wrong to want more, and your wife is not wrong to have anxieties. My advice is to start over. Instead of planning an entire trip around crossdressing, pick one place/time/event that is likely to be less stressful for either one of you. That might begin as a single night out to a CD friendly venue. Then, focus on enjoying each others company. When all goes well, as it likely will, the next outing wont seem quite so fraught with anxieties.

Kim is right. Do not dwell on missed opportunities, it will drive you mad.

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

Kim is right. Do not dwell on missed opportunities, it will drive you mad.

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It is driving me mad? But I also know several people of this group would love to trade with me just to have this opportunity and support. I respect her feelings, however I don?t know if or when it may happen again. I was so looking forward to fulfill my desire to live free? Just have an empty feeling.

I have not been out with my wife either. But we have done some "Dinner Parties" at home together. That could be fun if you have not done that yet.

We are going to Vegas for my birthday soon. I asked how many bags she was planning on using. I was hoping to get one for Natalie's stuff.

Looks like I might need to buy another suitcase.

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Originally Posted by Silkydog

. I was so looking forward to fulfill my desire to live free? Just have an empty feeling.

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We will never be free! Tolerance (acceptanceish) always brings with it some sort of compromise.

Don't beat yourself up about it. We've all suffered those little gremlins sitting on our shoulders whispering doom and gloom into our ears.

Overcoming it is one of those things that takes a moment of courage. Taking that first step, going that little bit further, is possibly one of the hardest things we do on our dressing journey.

My advice would be to find a support group, be prepared to travel, as you'll find yourself in welcoming company. Contact the organiser, find out what the makeup is of the membership and if SO's can also attend you can both make that important step forward.

Once you make those first steps it gets progressively easier and you realise those voices were telling you fibs.

Today, enfemme, I've travelled by train and bus. The young woman who served me my train ticket remarked how much she liked my bracelets, talked to a woman while waiting in a cafe queue, SA's who served me were engaging and friendly, had a glass of wine and a bite to eat in a pub, chatted to 3 elderly ladies while waiting for a bus, stopped off at a builders warehouse for some double sided tape and was greeted with nothing but politeness.

In other words, nothing bad happened. Well that's not totally true, by the time I got back to base my feet ached!

Seems to me u r sabotaging yourself, Silky.:thumbsdn:
U picked a cruise, where you're with your wife nearly every minute for a week and seeing the same people every day. And, u wanted to go out dressed there!? Why?:eek:
Your wife was rite. It could have been a nitemare if u weren't accepted and your SO had a nervous breakdown!:doh:

Jump in your car. Go at least one town away from home. Dress and go to any store, bar, or venue u like for a day or 2. The people who see you will never see u again in your life!:thumbsup:

That's what I've been doing for 15+ years maybe 100 times and never been caught by anyone who knows me yet!:heehee:

Probably ten years ago I asked my wife if she'd go out with me to dinner on Halloween while I was dressed up. She said no. When I asked another year, she said no.

So I stopped asking and just decided to go out on my own. And I've been out lots since then.

The problem with going out with wives is if someone sees your wife they'll see you. So don't go out with her. Find a group or go solo. If she is supportive, she likely won't mind nearly as much.

Sound advice from Dee. The solo option is the best one.

I agree. I go out with my wife, but not close to home where she will be recognized.

I have to agree with Sherry's first line. I know highly experienced CD'ers who ponder long and hard about going cruising for all the reasons listed.

In my early days I started by hiring secluded cottages, somewhere without close neighbours. It meant I could come and go unnoticed. Those were confidence boosting breaks that gave me as much control as possible. In fact this is the first year were I have neighbours both sides, located as I am on a small estate.

Even with the experiences I've had I thought long and hard about this. Don't give up, just rethink your strategy.

More dressing opportunities will come up you did the right thing by not dressing if you thought it was possible to embarrass or humiliate your wife just having her on board with your Crossdressing is a blessing.