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I only came out to my wife recently. Right now she is struggling with it, but she is trying to be tolerant and excepting of me while we figure things out. I am taking things slow for her so that hopefully she becomes more tolerant and accepting of everything and maybe even embrace it. I doubt she will ever truly like it like it, but I think she is trying to get over her reservations and be as supportive as she can to help me on this new path.
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Right now I am not sure .. it is not DADT but it is not completely out in the open either .. as it was said below I just came out recently as well, so we are still working things out. We are still married so to me that is a bonus <3 Aubri <3
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My fiancee understands my need to dress, and is somewhat encouraging because of its positive psychological effect on me. All things being equal she'd prefer I didn't, but she knows I am not going to stop.
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I can't say that my wife really "likes" my dressing but she defiantly tolerates it. She has been very understanding and supportive from day one, over twenty years ago, when I first told her. She has seen, and even been out with, Nita dressed a few times with out any negative issues. With that said I do sometimes, but not always, get a feel of uneasiness on her part when the subject comes up. Any boundaies with my dressing are boundaries that I have put on myself out of respect for her. After being together for over 30 years we have developed a feel for what works, and what doesn't, in our relationship. And I hope this never changes.
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Yesterday evening , Friday evening, she came home from work, the end of of a week at work for her. She gave me a bag. Inside the bag was a new dress. I put the dress on. I had to take off the skirt and top I had on. It's a lovely dress. It's a sparkly dress. I'm very lucky.
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We have a DADT system here. She has known about it for a long time, many years. We never talk about it though. I have tried to open the subject several times but it doesn't get anywhere. She never says anything about it. I hear about some of these lucky gals who have accepting SO's and an envious. I wouldn't say she hates it, but she would be glad if it went away, I'll bet.
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I was one of the extremely fortunate ones. Many years ago and harboring crossdressing desires, I confessed to my soon to be wife (now ex) a desire to wear panties. After blurting it out, I was scared to death but to my surprise, She was instantly on board. I might add that she too is straight as an arrow. She must have sensed that my desires involved more than panties and very soon we were shopping and "jackie" began to emerge. She not only guided my fashion sense but taught me to do my own makeup and encouraged me in every way. If for some reason, I missed a few days of not at least partially dressing, she would wonder if something was wrong, was something bothering me. It was by far the most honest relationship, I ever enjoyed. We split after many years together but for reasons unrelated to my dressing. We remain friends and she remains supportive occasionally sending jackie a surprise package.
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My fiancé is accepting, supportive, encouraging and also likes to "get involved" if you know what I mean. Like jack-ie's previous situation, she actually starts to wonder if something is wrong with me if I DONT dress. I couldn't ask for anything more!
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My wife knows. I told her not too long after we got engaged, and she has been OK with it since even buying me clothes or having me go to a store with her just to have her say OK, what do you like / want to get? Surprise .
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I am I think a relatively supportive wife. I dont mind it and we go shopping for clothes together and I help him and we have date nights dressed... but I found out after we got engaged... and it took me a little while to get used to it at first..
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My my, Lexi. I kept waiting for your post to go sideways and into the realm of "OK, you almost got me." but, it was actually insightful. I too love the girly girls. But, I'm on the verge of 100 years old so, I've lowered my standards somewhat. But, then out of the blue, I'm blindsided by a lovely real woman that loves to wear leather and rubber. And would love for me to be her girl. Still my beating heart. Thankfully (frustratingly) there's quite the formidable moat (ocean) around her castle.
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I also am one of the very fortunate ones as my wife is an active and enthusiastic supporter of my dressing (she's even a regularly posting member of this forum). So much so that she encouraged me to go out, and truly bends over backwards to make it possible for me to dress and sometimes go out. I told her while we were engaged, with plenty of time for her to back out of our relationship before we were married, but she never even showed me a hint that she is anything less than my full partner.
She shops for me independently, or with me as the occasion arises. She gives me advice, or makes sure I am not dressed too much like a tart in public, lol. My birthday is in December, and she does a thing where she gives me a small gift every day of December until my birthday, and a good portion of those are girl related. Sorry, I'm gushing...
I am truly blessed. :love:
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My spouse is not at all supportive. Her last word on the subject were " I can't imagine a circumstance where it (dressing at home) would be acceptable." This is a big part of my depression.
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My wife has gone from being totally unaccepting, to what I choose to call somewhat accepting/supportive. Recently she became comfortable with me wearing full makeup. So much so in fact, that she has passed along lipsticks, eyeshadow, and mascara that she never used. She's also handed down several pieces of jewelry, and has either purchased skirts and the like for me, or told me to buy them. She doesn't want me to wear a wig in her presence, won't look at pics of me dressed, and going out into the wild with or without her is a definite no-no for her. The other term I apply to her is "consistently inconsistent" in that she has definitely taken one step forward and two steps back several times along the way.
Karen
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My wife tolerates it, but she does fully support me. She never has any negative comments and I can dress in front of her with no problem. She has even been out in public with me when I was dressed in female clothing that was more uni-sex and not too noticeable they were girl clothes. I do not go out in public presenting as a woman and as long as I don't want to do that she has no problem with my dressing.
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am also totally lucky one where my girlfriend supports me and encourage me to do it more