This was my start to being feminine

Its very recent, just three months back. I came to US for studies. I sub-rented an apartment for short time till I could search a final one for me. The apartment I sub-rented had all the stuff of the person who originally rented it. Books, food items in refrigerator, chargers, utensils, everything was there already. The person had gone for vacations.

To me living in that apartment was a bit awkward as I always feared if I touch their stuff even by mistake what would they think of me. My mentors arranged that sub-rented apartment for me. I never talked to the original person. Soaps, toilet roll, toothpaste, body lotions, tables, plates, magazines, chairs ...each and every thing was there, I watched it, kept my stuff at places in such a way I did not disturb their arrangement of things. I kept my clothes in my suitcase and did not feel the need to place them in the cupboards as I thought I have to move out in a month so its better to not spread my stuff.

I could see some portions of apartment having things packed and stacked. Near the bathroom was a desk cupboard, I kept my soaps, shampoo, creams there so that I do not disturb the original arrangement of stuff in bathroom else the thought will be I used their stuff. Days passed by like this.

One day my soap fell down from the cupboard and got stuck between the wall behind and cupboard ahead. I tried to peep in my hands to snatch it but could not. I tried putting my hanger but could not reach it. So I decided to safely move the cupboard ahead and pick my soap and place it back. I sat down and shifted the cupboard little away from the wall holding its legs. My soap fell on the floor and I picked it up. After picking my soap I held the legs of cupboard again and made it near thw wall again. When I come to the front of cupboard I find it opened and its content were fallen. My hearts skipped a beat as I find some clothes fallen. I picked them up in hurry to stuff them back in cupboard. My hands found a bag of lingerie. I blushed, my heart paced faster. I could not imagine I was touching them. I quickly placed them inside, closed cupboard and went to other part of apartment.

I tried to forget the incident but yes my thoughts went their again and again: "what would someone think of me if I touched their things which were so intimate? Will I be considered pervert? Will it be known that someone touched? After all its just stuffed randomly in bag, can still anyone know? I have already touched it, so why these thoughts?" Then one day, I just opened the cupboard again and wore those lingerie. They were silky, smooth and in different colors. I liked the yellow one most. I slept in them. I felt nice but guilty too that I breached someone's else's space.

However, since then my body want to be in feminine form in a more longing way. I want to feel it again that way. I looked up on internet. I wanted to buy some but did not know how to. I even came to know about whole body male to female body suit, I wanted to buy it but was not sure if they are genuine sellers. Then I found this forum. I posted a question here about the same which got deleted by admin unfortunately.

I dont knw what will you people or world brand me, I think I did what was destined. Not that it was only three months back I started to feel that my soul want to acquire a female form, that emotion was always there since I gained consciousness about the self but it got a chance to bloom may b now.

Hi, Across! Thanks for sharing all of that! You are in the right place as there is a lot of knowledge, experience, and opinions here! 4 more posts and more of the Forum will open up to you! Here there are answers to most of your questions! Read, read, and read! Hugs Lana Mae

If you were there alone then who is going to know?
Wearing their stuff was not the best thing to do but hey you did it and you can't change that.
I think you are over thinking all of this IMO.
You had an experience you enjoyed and it may be nothing more than that.

Hi Across, These are exciting and confusing feelings. Proceed slowly and with caution. I suspect that you might be confusing powerful sexual arousal for gender confusion. Easy to do, and you wouldn’t be the first. I’m guessing that you might have grown up in a repressive sexual environment which might make sorting this out even more puzzling (and unfortunately guilt producing) for you. Learn what you can, ask questions, go slow, and no, do not buy a female body suit. Nancy

This is not meant to sound harsh:
. depending on whether you have experienced any gender identity earlier in life, what you may be experiencing is a fetish interest in lingerie. It's just one opinion.
. wash and replace the tenants lingerie, it's wrong to take anyone's things without permission and could place your student visa in trouble if the tenant finds out.
. Go out and buy your own lingere.

It does sound like a fetish thing at this point but only you would know that.
Fetishes are OK and lots of people have them so there is nothing wrong with you and lots of us have been where you are right now.
A body suit may be something you can get into and I would never tell someone not to buy one but they are expensive so that is up to you.

Across, discussing female body suits is not forbidden here to my knowledge. However, information that is too personal and/or sexually detailed IS banned!
I have a number of full, silicone, female body suits. As Tracii said, they r expensive!

However, my first one radically altered my thinking and was well worth it! I had been fantasizing of having breasts and becoming a female for 10 years. Within weeks of wearing my suit, those thots vanished! What I apparently wanted was simply to look like a female, not necessarily become one!:battingeyelashes:

If u wish to chat with me in private about anything? U can Private Message me after you've gotten 10 posts here!:)