For those who identify as "just a CD" how does it feel to be a male ???

many folks identify as many different ways in life and here on our forum, to get the most genuine answer for the purpose of this question i feel i needed to narrow it down to those who identify as "just a CD" .......so for the ones who identify as "just a cd" how does it feel to be a man....
edit:
one last try:
to be fair i have edited this in post #41? their was confusion. here is the result....

if you dont identify as anything other than a CD,
not fluid
not trans
not TS
not BI
not gay

how do you feel as a man,
not the action of CDing
not how you relate to women
not how you feel persecuted by society
not how you think your supposed to feel
not how you feel like a women when you dress

how you feel as a man,

so yes now i changed the question.....and respectfully ask if this does not describe you please refrain....again no disrespect for not being all-inclusive, trying to use a dart, not a cannonball....

Can you answer if you are bi cd but only identify as male?

Well Mikell, you know that describes me.

i don't know that I can describe being male any better than the women could describe being female. It's me. There is a sense of obligation I always carry. Obligation to provide for and take of my family but is that a "male" trait or just something I have come to choose?

Certainly there are plenty of men who don't feel this way. Just look at the child support a-holes who shirk their responsibility!

yes jen, i know, but it includes a host of many as your not a minority here, but i will argue the "Obligation to provide for and take of my family" is not a male trait, traits and feelings are different so i hope you give it more thought, its a very simple premise but a difficult task to achieve....

i asked myself this very question, so i hope that we can dig down past the "linear" thinking and get in touch with our feelings....

What about Gender fluid persons?

It feels like I need to plan, get stuff done, take care of people, conserve resources, play hard, win, etc. By way of contrast, what my femme side excels at is living in the moment. I don't look at women the same as I used to. I used to fantasize about sex with a beautiful woman I might see walking down the street. That is not as strong as it was. Now when I see an attractive female, I'm mostly just admiring the beauty, as I would any beautiful thing in nature. I think how it feels to be male is (obviously) at least in part a function of hormones. At my age, I probably have half the T I did. I like not being driven by it so much.

i identify as third, fluid, queer, whatever the term du jour might be.....so i wanted to keep it simple KISS,
if anyone would like to get into the other intellectual aspects feel free to start another string.

I am just a crossdresser, to be male just feels normal and happy. I take pleasure in my work, my family, and my other pursuits. My other pursuits tend to be of a masculine nature, marathon running, triathlons, fishing, mountaineering. I do not know anything different, so it is hard to be more talkative about the subject. On being out dressed, I often run into people who comment on being out and being the "your true self". I can say that this is not necessarily true for me. There must be something there that makes me a bit different, but I am a man. My dressed self is something more like a movie persona that I create for myself. It is also a way of traveling to a new and different world. Imagine, instead of taking a plane to Paris or Tokyo, makeup, clothing, and an hour of work produces the same exotic voyage. You can see things from a completely different perspective and have people interact with you in a completely different way. It is not always all good, but the experiences are amazing. It is a role that I take a lot of pleasure in creating. I think that if I were really a woman, then going out would not have the exiting or exotic appeal for me. That would just be situation normal.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mikell

i identify as third, fluid, queer, whatever the term du jour might be.....so i wanted to keep it simple KISS,
if anyone would like to get into the other intellectual aspects feel free to start another string.

---

I realy cant say , yes I am male have been for over 60 years now , but what have I got to compare it with ? I only know what it feels like to be me , I dont know what it feels like to be anything else you may as well ask what it feels like to be the queen of England . How in the world can anyone know
I know what its like to be me , and I know how I feel when i'm dressed as Heather but I dont know what it feels like to be you.

The best part about crossdressing is that I can always go back to my male mode although I do see a softer or more feminine side to my personality.

There's a Time article on "What Trans Men See That Women Don't" that demonstrates cultural sexism is very real when you've lived on both sides of the coin. It is clearly a man's world and it was interesting to read the perspectives and hear about their experiences living in the world as a man. As I read about their experiences, I realize I lack the machismo of being a man's man and crossdressing is part of my personality (more caring, empathetic, and less aggressive towards women).

It would be interesting to hear from those that transitioned from MtF to hear about their experiences in living as a female in a man's world, i.e. hearing what women talk about when no man is around.

Anyway, the time I do dress just feels naturally, exciting but in a comforting way. Like Sara said, it's like an exotic travel experience. I imagine for other non-CD males wearing women's attire, it would feel awkward or uncomfortable and weird.

These threads often come down to semantics.
So I identify as just a CD.
You ask how does it feel to be "male" - you don't want an answer "male-ish" but one that avoids male/masculine/manly
So we are brought up in various societies to know what is expected of us by how the people around us see us. If a genetic male has testicular feminization (body does not recognize testosterone) and is raised as typical female, then would it be fair to ask this genetic male how it feels to be male?
I think you are asking what societal expectations do crossdressers see as "male" that they hope to temporarily displace by dressing.
So some answers may be the things labeled as macho - not showing feelings, crying, showing empathy, doing things that may cause injury or damage clothing, taking on responsibility for family needs of financial but not housecleaning or cooking needs. Not being able to talk about style, beauty or to express a wider range of clothing materials and colors to make you feel good about yourself. To have to lead and not just follow - to have to make tougher decisions.
I am not saying women do not do these things, but that males may take on more of them and not all males want it without a break. Some males may break from these by "playing with their toys"-sports, boats, cars, trucks or by changing their view of the world thru mind altering substances - alcohol, prescription or non-prescription drugs, etc.
"Just a CDer" is not hoping to attract a male for sex, and does not feel that they need to permanently have the world see them and treat them as "female" (the imagined set of interactions the male thinks the female is exposed to but does not really know). And those change based on where you live - USA vs Iran vs Sweden vs China.
Hoped I helped,
Hugs, Ellen

I am gender fluid and Male is a big part of my life and now the female part of me is taking hold. But in male mode, I enjoy it and I find drinking beer with the males at the country club is a good male pastime and talk. But when I with male and females I always seem to be in the female camps and have to consciously try to go to the males but their talk i pretty run of the mill and I always get back to the girls. But being a male is alright and being a female is alright, seems natural to me.

Interesting question for me. I am solidly 'male' and enjoy being one. I have no desire to be a woman, just feel like one now and then. But in fact, I have always related well to women. I love women and always have, and will be more likely to hang with the girls at social events. I find that women relate to that softer, female empathetic side of me, and this very much includes my wife......she loves my softer side.
The experience of relating this way to women, is what it is because I am a man, not in spite of it, and I enjoy the appreciation that comes my way as a result.

To me being male is being relied on, in charge, getting things done (or not) putting the toilet seat down ect. -- when I am in femm mode it's peaceful, as my mind shuts most of the male world away - I'am a crossdresser and need to be both......................Debra

I love to CD, BUT, I am also a hard working husband and father and try as much as possible to fill those roles traditionally. Without going into much detail, with a lot of what is going on in the world today, I aint easy being me in 2016. I am an outdoorsman and also very sports minded. I love women. I love to look at women. I especially love drunk women! :) I hunt and fish, burp and fart and drink too much a time or two when with the boys. I LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF IT. But then, when it comes to my CD side, I like that too. ;)

so i thought i asked a pretty straight forward question. how do you feel as male, so how do you feel male, i realize its a cd site and we are at varied paths on our CD journey, what i am looking for is the "man in a dress" like to do it. never feel like a different person when you dress, dont feel i share the soul of a women, dont care about sexual feelings when you dress, just trying to pin point if you identify as male CD how do you feel male.

1. if you identify as just a man in a dress CD.
2. not trans, not fluid, not bi, not gay. threads on that already.
3. a CD male not what you do while you CD.
4. not how you can relate to women.
5. not what you do as a male.
6. no semantics, no what ifs, your personal feeling of how you feel male, not societies.
7. not how you feel as feminine or female.

I do not like the man in a dress term. Yes, I am a crossdresser, and do not want to transition to be a woman, but I really do make an effort to present myself as a woman, and can comfortably go to most places dressed. To me, man in a dress implies to me someone who throws on a dress with beard shadow, horrible make up, etc.

I understand your frustration, but we live in our own minds and you are asking how we feel "male", but "male" is not an internal term. The mind just knows "I". "Male" is how we are taught to think of ourselves in society.
Are you trying to get a collection of internal thoughts that are "male"? But not actions nor societal expectations that are "male"?

Can you give examples of what descriptions you think might fit "feel like a male"?
Ellen

While I am primarily a CD I have no intention of going beyond that I do consider myself trans in that I have female side when I'm dressed and sometimes even when not.
To be male to me is mostly in my body parts more than anything and yes even though when I'm dressed I know I'm male I'm sure I don't fool many people when out but for me it is and expression of a part of me that I doubt will go away

I am a cross dresser. I dress when time allows which isn't has often as I would like, but when I have had extended periods of time to cd I find that I get bored with it after a few days. So to answer your question. I think feelings are feelings whether M or F and essentially we are all the same. Eat, drink, rest, work enjoy life to the best of our ability and try to keep ourselves out of trouble At least not get caught..
My motto is have a good time and do no harm to others.
PS I'll use the restroom that my clothing dictates LOL

I am a male with a strong "feminine" side and I am just fine with that. The cd'ing helps to satisfy that side and make me feel complete. I can't say that I never wished to be a girl for a while or thought that things might have been better had I been born a girl but such is the stuff of fantasies and dreams! However, the question was, "How does it feel to be male?" The answer is, at least for right now, I feel like hell!!! I have very low T (total T of just 33) and I feel like the crabby, cranky, pissy and achy old man named Crankshaft from the cartoon strip. I've been fighting with the insurance company for almost a month and a half to get the cost of a bottle of testosterone covered by them so I can re-start my injections. They've been denying me because, as I recently found out, I didn't have a recent enough testosterone reading that they could go by. So, I had blood taken last week and it came back at a level of 33 (which is almost nothing). It has even destroyed my desire to cd as I find I just don't give a damn about anything right now. (A better description of how I feel would be "Hammered Donkey S*@T!!!)

I feel just fine as a guy. I am part time for a good reason. I enjoy spending most of my time as a guy.

Mikell,
I can't see why you need to ask the question, if I were just male I wouldn't be a Cder, surely that applies to most of us. Something in us has a need to CD in various guises, that need has to have a female connection.
Also it's difficult to define just a cross dresser, it's almost said in lowly terms as if we need to aspire to something better , like Sara I try to avoid the man in a dress in looks or the term.

Lisa,
You can have some of my T , I appear to have an excess most of the time , what you say about a low level makes interesting reading, I've often wondered what the outcome could be.

Hell-o Mikell,
As a male, who is a CD, I guess I just feel like me.
Put me in a dress, heels, wig, and makeup... I'm still me!
There's no split personality issues going on within my head!

Is being male, female, or any other of the gender variance we see
here, something that can be "felt"?

Now ask how I feel while trying to shave my back!
Geeezzz! What a PITA!
But hey! That's just another thing that makes "me", me.
Much Love,
Kristyn

This reverse question has often been asked of women, "how does it feel to be a woman?" and of course, none of them can really come up with a solid answer. They just are, it just is. And likewise for us as our born gender. What makes someone of gender variance even ponder this question is the fish out of water or human in water scenario. Describe what it feels like to breath, either a fish or a human. You don't think about it. There is no actual feeling about it, it just is. But take a fish out of water or put a human in water and then breath.... then you suddenly get a whole new perspective to say the least.

Although there are some CDers who have zero connection other than a strange liking to feminine clothing and not much else, many of us do fall within the "other" category. We don't really know what it feels like to be a fish breathing through its gills. But we have a strange affection for wanting to live in the water, and wish we had the ability to breath through gills.

We see the posts about how "I feel so girly walking around in heels or wearing a skirt" and etc etc etc. Yeah, YOU do, but someone who does it because they were dared to, or paid to or whatever, doesn't. It is what makes us reach for the heels in the 1st place is what I am intrigued about.