The way it should be

I work as a machinist, a dirty hands job which makes wearing a dress at work totally impractical. So when I feel the need to be dressed, it has to be at the end of the work day. I bring my dress or skirt outfit with shoes in with me, packed in a gym bag. When work is finished, I change and head for my car. In the past, I did this discreetly by parking my car by the exit nearest my shop, then slipping out quietly. I told myself I wasn't exactly hiding, I was just not advertising, but maybe I was actually nervous about the reaction I would receive if I was seen. One or two coworkers did see me but said nothing.

My approach changed recently, thanks to COVID. I was laid off for 3 months, then brought back to work when they reopened. Now,, at the end of the day, I change and stroll down the long hallway to the regular parking lot. I decided whoever sees me, sees me.

Well, they see me, and there have been ZERO COMMENTS, either pro or con. Actually, once, while putting on my shoes, a woman from my group commented that she couldn't handle walking in my shoes ( they were 2 1/2 inch wedges). Everyone else, absolutely NOTHING is said. Its like everybody wears a skirt to work, including the biggest guy in the place (me).

I say, thats exactly how it should be, Not A Big Deal. What say you?

Just be aware that there may be talking behind your back.

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Originally Posted by Micki_Finn

Just be aware that there may be talking behind your back.

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Who cares?

Suzanne, congrats on being you. And you are right, that's the way it should be.

I would partially agree with Micki...they are probably commenting away from you. You just don't know if it is good or bad. Only way you may know is if you walk in on it. I would hope it is all good. I have got more comments from females while out dressed then men. Men look but don't say anything. So I would rock it as much as you can. Even dressed appropriately for work but enfemme...jeans, top..etc.

Congrats, Suzanne.

That is exactly how it SHOULD be and suspect that if society on a wider level was more accommodating than it is presently, we would see such sights far more frequently.

I know a well known trans here in SoCal who works in a big machine shop. She's been dressing androgenously there for 10 years. That is her style.

They r quite used to her now. But, at first? The boss told her anyone who gave her the stink eye had report to HR!:Angry3:

As a sole proprietor of a business, I could rock whatever clothing I cared to but talk about scared! I'm sure many of my customers would take it just fine. Many probably not so much. SO having a job that you go to that has a human resources department is a plus. Who knows, once the business is paid for what might happen in my attire and presentation?!

Good for you and happiness in your career!

Enjoy Suzanne, have fun.

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Originally Posted by suzanne

I work as a machinist, a dirty hands job which makes wearing a dress at work totally impractical.

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A dress might be impractical, but you can still dress like a lady, even working in a machine shop.

I agree, when I came out at work it was the biggest non event ever. Although the secretary and I got closer. She retired a few years ago, we are still friends.

Yes people talk, I've gotten reports from my friends. They say it is mostly good.

A couple people have tried to cause trouble talking behind my back. It went absolutely nowhere, I have so much support you can't really touch me, as my friends stand up and protect me without me saying anything.

Isn't this what real friends do?

Congrats, enjoy

Love Jean

I am glad that this is working out for you, and of course very glad to hear you are back to work.

Nice to hear. And for those who say "They're talking behind your back," my reply is , "So what?"

As I've related elsewhere on this forum, I have had a conversation with HR, pre-pandemic, about my transition. I had decided to hold off even before the world turned upside down. I was talking to the same HR woman the other day , about something else, and we started chatting about the return to the office. In re: my presenting as femme, she said "Maybe this is a good time to just take the plunge!"

Suzanne, you are absolutely right, that's the way it should be, and I am pleased for you.

When I socially transitioned at work it was a big non event. I braced myself, but everyone treated me as they normally did, except that people I had never spoken to, or hardly at all, started saying hello and having little chats.

As far as talking behind the back goes, I've seen that happen to the most boring, average cisgendered people you'd ever want to meet. It happens to everyone. No one escapes it.

Some people are just behind the back talkers.

In my area and environment ...it is a taboo to be caught in women dress ...so all preparations are done at home fully dressed underneath clothing ,,,and my job is at office so no worries to change there ....I hope things stays safe at the moment with lot of precautions

That is a really nice post to read, I am very happy for you and hope that you continue to feel content around your work colleagues and I agree that is exactly how it should be

Congratulations on your new level of confidence.

Are your coworkers going to talk behind your back? Probably. So what! As long as you are comfortable with what they are saying. Otherwise, it becomes a harassment issue. If you want to dress more feminine at work.... Caharts do come in women's.

I had a coworker comment on my glossy, long nails in a meeting in front of some of our managers. That made me feel rather uncomfortable. I would have been fine if he approached me in private.