How to come back?

Recently I?ve been wanting to get back into things since I purged when we moved across the country and sold all of our possessions. We moved with a three month old and we were living in close quarters, so I knew I didn?t have space to hide things from the public or extended family. My wife knows and was fine with it before we moved. Then as we were cleaning the house out she saw how much I had and gave me the option to downsize or get ride of it all. Since I knew the living conditions would be tight like I mentioned above, I purged, with the promise that I could re buy once we were settled into our new town.

Here?s where the title comes in.
The first thing I bought were some panties and after I had them I wore them occasionally. One day she was separating the laundry and said she didn?t like the style I bought and was a little annoyed about it. I haven?t worn them since. Every time i would wear them though I?d tell her so she wouldn?t be surprised if she saw them.

How do I go about getting my collection back together. Everything I have right now she doesn?t like.

You are your own person, with your own tastes and style. Its only underwear, im not sure why it would be a big deal to her.
My wife and I have two clothing styles that are polar opposite. And not just underwear. And that's ok. I like what I like, and she likes what she likes.

hello Girlinside,
Do you always like the style of clothes your wife wears? If not that is OK because you are different people.
Or if you want to be similar people ask your wife to help choose your clothing?
stay healthy,
luv J

I do my own laundry. That would be an easy solution. I do mine on different days and I ask my wife if there is anything she needs washed. If she says yes I wash, fold or hang up and bring them up to her. She never complains.

I?m not sure why she did it like them they were Brazilian style and she called them thongs. She doesn?t like to wear thongs so she said she?s didn?t like them. I figured if she?s not wearing them then why does it matter.

She does all the laundry and doesn?t like the way I do it. So I think I?ll do what a couple of you have mentioned and ask her opinion on things before I buy if she wants to give one.

What was in your collection? You only mentioned panties. Panties in themselves is not a big deal unless you have hundreds. What else did you purge? If I had to purge for some reason I'd have to get rid of 18-20 Xerox boxes of clothing. Ugh!

Sounds like you need to talk more with your wife because it may not be the style of panties that is really bothering her.

My wife didn't like lace panties on me. I stopped wearing lace panties bc I actually found most a bit uncomfortable on the sensitive spots. I wear lace trins ones and she doesn't mind. Eh, it happens. Ask to buy some for you and she what he comes home with.

Or maybe she just doesn't want you wearing panties period

Stephanie,

Since I graduated high school and was in college living in a house with many hiding spots. I had amassed quite the collection. I had anything and everything one would need to dress for every occasion. I had 20 pairs of shoes mostly heels, boots, sandals and one or two pair of shoes. I had 6 skirts, 1 pair of jeans cuz they don’t fit well on me (big thighs and smaller waist with a hank hill butt), 12 or so tops mostly dressy stuff from Charlotte Russe. A prom dress, three sexy ones, 2 sundresses with a waist belt that you could tie in a bow my favorites off all the dresses, hide my man body very well. Probably 30 different pairs of VS panties due to their sales. 30 bras, a couple of each major style VS carried. I loved the add 2 cup ones but they stopped making cute bras recently. I also had an entire makeup kit I put together my self complete with brush sets and all the tools needed to make myself feel wonderful. Various shapers I hardly used and three corsets. I kept those as they are harder to get and were more expensive.

So when we moved every item Emma owned was in the dumpster. Most of this collection was gathered before we met. In some of my posts you may have seen that she was accepting of this side of me and she has seen the bins and drawers I had stored all of this in so I thought she knew how much I had.

She doesn't like what you're acquired because she was most likely hoping that you had gotten over "that phase". Forget us. She's not going to like anything until you have a nice sit down talk with her.

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Lace panties were invented by a misogynistic Victorian-era man. There's nothing comfortable about them. 🤣

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Originally Posted by Paulie Birmingham

My wife didn't like lace panties on me. I stopped wearing lace panties bc I actually found most a bit uncomfortable on the sensitive spots. I wear lace trins ones and she doesn't mind. Eh, it happens. Ask to buy some for you and she what he comes home with.

Or maybe she just doesn't want you wearing panties period

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Just tell her that you do not like the panties she wears and see her reaction. X

Like so many threads on this forum the issue is how do we engage in crossdressing when in a committed relationship with someone with whom we live? I know "Don't Ask Don't Tell" is the strategy some men use, which is doubtless better than being completely secret about the behavior. I say that despite the fact I know from first hand experience that doing things secretly can add to the excitement of doing it. That was often an element in my sexual acting out behaviors. But it is a very difficult way to live a life. It is hard to imagine one can do that without inducing shame... though sometimes acting out behavior exists simply because it DOES generate shame.

It seems to me the sensible way of dealing with this situation is exactly the one you've come to... talking with your wife/partner and coming to an agreement about when and how and with what you'll engage in a behavior that you clearly are drawn to. Part of that conversation will include you talking about the simple fact crossdressing is comforting for you and that you appreciate her support. Since she appears to be willing to support you the next questions should be easier to answer. In the same way you want her respect and support you will want to be respectful of her needs. Relationships that are healthy will have such respect. This is not about convincing her to do something you want simply because you want it.

Reading these threads I hear men talk about wives finding out about their behaviors. It seems men are entering into relationships without telling their partners about crossdressing. Talk about a recipe for disaster. I understand that it could be a deal breaker for many women. The solution hardly seems to be lying about who we are and what we do. But we end up with conversations on the forum trying to salvage relationships in which women aren't happy about how we act out our needs. Tell the truth, express your needs, listen honestly to what your partner is telling you and go from there. That is what makes sense to me.

Visitor, I can?t aggressively more with what you said.

I?m planning to talk with her just not sure when. There has been a lot of stress for us lately. Mostly unforeseen medical expenses for her and the kids. So now isn?t the right time but it should be soon when we have less bills looming overhead.

Invite her to go shopping with you for you. You'll find out what she likes.