Listening for the time frame

Wifey always knows that I'm listening to determine if I have a window of opportunity.

"I'm going to an event tomorrow."
"Oh, that's nice."
"I really don't want to go but, I keep putting them off."
"Well, it's your friends. Go and have a good time. You driving?"
"No, we're carpooling."
"Is it during the day?"
"No, it's in the evening."
"I worry when you're out too late. And, I don't sleep until I know you're home."
"It's only for a couple of hours like six until eight or nine."
"Well, just have a good time. I just want to stay home and relax. It is a school night for me. If you're going to be out later, call me so I don't worry."

There's always this type of conversation. I actually prefer DADT at this point. I could just say, "I'm playing dress up" but, I know it's just assumed.

Carla, I know how you feel. I can't wait for my step daughter to say, I'm going out for the evening.

I remember those days.
My wife had a regular weekly event years ago and I always took the opportunity to dress while she was gone. At that point she wasn't interested in seeing me.
I would prepare a little before she left and now and then she would come over to where I was seated to kiss goodbye and she would run her hand up my leg under my pants and say "Oh, you have your pantyhose on, have fun".
It was a little odd, but that was then.

I'm always in standby mode waiting for the, we have the house to ourselves, all clear from my wife. Looking forward to the day that they grow up and leave the nest, and Caylee can play with her wardrobe more!

I have to dodge my wife and my daughter, who lives in the basement. My DADT wife know, and I can always ask her to call before she heads home. That gives me about 15 minutes to stuff Steffi in a closet.

My daughter is another story. She doesn't know and I'm supposed to not let here find out. I can never figure out when she will be home. When she's out at night, it's either a date, GNO, babysitting or staff meeting, and even she doesn't know how long she'll be out.

The funny thing is that she doesn't have a curfew, as long as she texts out that she's not coming home, so we won't have to call hospitals and police stations when she's not home by morning. I, in theory at least, have a midnight curfew when I'm out with the girls.

My wife approached me tentatively about spending the night at a casino for a show this Friday night because she knows I listen to rock and probably would not be interested. I told her "why don't you go ahead and get a room and go yourself". She caught me in lingerie in the mid 80's and I told her about my past then but her reaction was to approach it as something she could shame me out of with an occasional snide remark about wearing a dress. The dynamics of our personalities morphed into the ostrich method of coping and her deciding that she doesn't want to see me or even know that I still dress. In her mind it was something that came up in the 80's that she thinks she "put her foot down" and ended as she is in denial and thinks that the fog can be shut off like a light switch.

Anyways, she decided to go ahead and book the show and room and go by herself. She said that she's going to leave early (I assume by noon) and make a day out of it. As a result I have an unexpected day to shop, wash whatever needs washing and spend time dressed as my crossdressing persona, Star. In anticipation I started shopping earlier this week and decided to shave my forearms like I used to do some years back. I bought a better wig, four pairs of panties (two everyday thongs and a couple lacy pairs for dressing pretty), stocked up on concealer, lipstick, powder, false eyelashes and adhesive, two bras, fake fingernails and various other makeup items. There will be another quick excursion after she leaves for sheer pantyhose and to a couple thrift stores to see if I can spot a nice dress or two in my size. Actually my wife has a closet full of dresses she rarely wears anymore and they fit me so I'll use them for my photo sessions. Unfortunately my best crossdressing friend is feeling under the weather so this will be a solo excursion in my home.

With the wife gone for the night I will be able to park my vehicle in the garage and if that is the case I may decide to go for a short ride en femme. If I don't have to go out in the driveway to get in my vehicle dressed and can discretely use the garage door opener that would make it easier to see what it feels like to be out and about en femme. In view of recent "just do it" threads regarding going out dressed, I'm in a small town, not much foot traffic and taking a stroll on the local trail is impossible as snowmobiles tear down it at breakneck speeds. Besides, walking on the trail I would freeze or slip on ice and there's nothing to see crossing a highway by the corn fields. Hence the ride for my first outing as I don't have women's coat and boots if I had car trouble and there's nothing worth doing dressed in party best in this feed mill sized town. My old beater hauling vehicle and lack of a wing girl prevent me from driving to the big city.

So, not only do I keep my ear to the ground for time frames but every now and then I'll hit the jackpot when I least expect it. Hopefully the result will be some better photos to use as an avatar.

My wife and I are in what is essentially a DADT relationship. She is definitely not supportive. Every now and then she'll mention how long she expects to be out or when she's coming back. It makes me go...hmmm. Someday I'll have to ask her. 😉

Just a note to Star: Buy and wear your own clothes. Never a good idea to ?borrow? your wife?s stuff without her permission.

I?ve developed quite the keen ear for this exact thing. I always look forward to the ?I?ll be away today? or ?I?m going to my friends this weekend? is truly music to the ears.

This is a section of the closet she rarely ever touches and anything borrowed would only be long enough to snap a photo and hung back up in the closet. I should mention as well that these days she only gets dressed up on rare special occasions (weddings, etc.) so there isn't any risk to using a couple dresses for photos while she's gone overnight. I would never touch anything that she used on a regular basis but these items aren't anything like that. Anything I do beyond that will be in my own clothes which are currently best suited for indoors. If I can't find something at the thrift store before I start taking photos I'll have to stay indoors. The biggest obstacles right now that would deter me from going out are a foot of snow and temps in the single digits with no glitzy destinations in this one feed mill town.

A quick PS, I'm new here so let me assure you that at nearly 70 I'm not going to do anything stupid. Well, maybe stupid but not really stupid and not very many times until I figure it out. Thanks for the obvious advice but believe me, as obsessive and thorough as I am there hopefully isn't too much that I miss.

Carla,
So glad all that is behind me now !

It's quite a twist when people tell me they prefer me as Teresa .

Carla, I was where you are now but I couldn't keep it so long so I came out to wife with crude confession, I'm bisexual and crossdresser. (Now, thanks to therapy and basically hor ml ones I realized they I'm not bisexual) Since then has been around 4 years, I'm on HRT near 2 years and still married living together ever less in a DADT relationship but a supportive one.
As I said at the beginning I was where you are now but always confuse me how you guys can live in a relationship where you have topics of your life that are prohibited.
It hasn't been easy for us, and still not being it but we love each other as I concede her things she concedes me too because after all for love because, after all why you live with someone, share your bed, lying her everyday, what kind of business is that?
I'm sorry if I sound cruel or tough but I see every day many as you just dreaming but not living, being happy with crumbs ....

I tell my wife I am playing dress up. She gets annoyed, but she tolerates me. I can live with that.

My wife writes her outings (usually bridge or tennis) on the calendar so I have a general idea of when she will be gone so I can sneak out.

I also will tell her once or twice a month that I'm going out for dinner or lunch meetings for the transgender group I beling to. So she knows I go out, but I get out more often than she thinks.

Hi Carla. That?s a familiar scenario and if my SO is out for a couple of hours I can take advantage. Similarly in the evenings, probably a couple of times each week. She will be watching TV and I will say.
"I be upstairs for a while (in my office/cave) doing the usual."
Usually there is no comment.
Vikky

I've gone on similar fishing expeditions to get an idea of my wife's actual intentions when she announces that she will be going out shopping, visiting with friends, or going on errands etc. if she doesn't volunteer those details herself first. Sometimes, she catches my drift; sometimes she doesn't.

If the former, I can usually count on a sarcastic remark regarding my perceived crossdressing intentions and my happiness that she will be out of the house for awhile. Other times, she will let me know on her own when (and how long) she will be gone for - or, alternatively, that she might come home unexpectedly between errands...as an implied "I know that you will be dressing up while I am out, but I don't want to stumble in on you doing that if I happen to come home early". So, yes, the permission/accommodation aspect can be all over the map depending on my wife's mood at any particular time. What irks me particularly, however, is if I happen to have other things (or chores) besides crossdressing planned when she goes out, yet I am still accused of not being able to wait for her to be out of the house so that i can have my freedom. So, d*mned if I do, and d*amned if I don't. The eternal cat-and-mouse game...

As for the "You can't wait for me to be out of the house lament", well, yes, dear wife, you kind of brought that on yourself with your intransigent DADT/IDWTSI stance, so this attempted guilt trip no longer works on me.

Sadly, the visits out of town to see relatives or friends, or else other overnight stays such as babysitting the grandkids, have dwindled down to next to nothing lately, so I am currently reduced to grabbing every opportunity to crossdress - fleeting as they may be - whenever I can. Not particularly satisfying, but it is what it is.

My wife is like Star's wife (#7). My wife is totally ostrich. We're both retired now. I retired more than eleven years ago. She was working several full days a week which gave me the opportunity to tend to the domestic chores; washing, ironing, vacuuming, cooking, baking, tending the garden, etc. Totally June Cleaver. My wife also does not drive due to a visual impairment, so I would drop her off and pick her up from work. No surprises. Now she is fully retired. What's a girl to do? My wife found my browser open to this site a while ago. It did not bother me at all. All she said was I should be more careful leaving the browser open less a visitor discover it. Perhaps she peruses the general section which is open to the public. The top of the page does day "Welcome, Stephanie."

Anyway, last month she volunteered to babysit over night, Friday to Saturday. I dropped her off at our daughter's apartment which is 35 miles away. On Saturday my daughter and her family drove her home for dinner here. I had an overnight session. Fully en femme. I could have ventured out, but, all I wanted to do is kick back and enjoy the moment. She has volunteered to do another overnight babysitting gig so our daughter could go out Christmas shopping. She already has signed on to an overnight gig for New Year's Eve. I have wonder whether or not my wife has read about my angst of not being able to be myself and has decided to give me some contrived space/time.

Oh, the perils of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." For those of us in "DADT" I sometimes have to chuckle about the progression of a cross dresser life. I started off banging my head against the wall because the kids are five years apart in age. My wife is not working out the home. When did I get the crumbs of time? When she decided to tend a church nursery for several hours on Sunday mornings. Basically, two or three hours of rush time. It wasn't until she started working at one of the kids' school for several hours that I could take off a "sick day" from work. The nursery job had dried up. It's terrible living a life of crumbs of time. It wasn't until my wife went back to school and became a certified teacher that I could count of six to seven hours of femme time. Now? Back to the crumbs of time. Maybe there is a maturing that goes on. If I cannot get six or seven hours of uninterrupted time there is no satisfaction at all.

I am so looking forward to New Year's Eve.

Reading all these responses reminds me of myself. When we first got married I tried to tell my wife I like to cross dress. Well here it is some 40 odd years later and I am in a DADT relationship.She will not buy sexy lingerie because she knows I will borrow it. So I have my own clothes that I keep hidden. I move them from time to time in case she gets nosy. Either my strategy is working or she just doesn't care. Used to be when we fought she would always mention my panties. She strictly wears cotton underwear because because I leave "dick marks" . Personally I don't like her underwear

While I am out to my wife and will occasionally dress around her, I do pay careful attention to when she will be out for more than an hour. Sometimes I just prefer to be by myself.

My wife goes to bed earlier than I do, often by 9 PM. I am a bit of a night owl, so I stay up to 11 or 12, sometimes later. I dress when she is around so it really is not an issue, but I give her a few hours of me in drab, she likes her man in jeans and a work shirt, then I get 2-3 hours to dress. I never ask, but I am pretty sure she knows that I dress most nights and just gives me some time. I have a home office in our lower level, along with a family room and spare bedroom. She might come down to iron some clothes for work and just hollers out good night instead of coming in to see me. Once in a while she will pop in to ask something and she just comments on my outfit and gives my boobs a squeeze. I will cross my arms to protect myself and tell her I feel violated!

Hey Carla, I do think my wife also knows more than she lets on and I often wonder if she has one of those "Spy Cubes" planted somewhere around the house.
Since I am semi-retired and home most days when she leaves for work, she must wonder what I am up to?!?!
So what are you gonna do if your both retire and have nothing to do?
I suppose it there will come a time for her to deal with it. I hope I can be like Theresa when my wife retires!
I have gotten my DADT wife, to set up a calendar on what she is doing for the week and month and it is on the fridge.
She is pretty independent and will go off by herself or a girl friend to craft fairs across the midwest to sell hobby stuff she makes.
Those are the best weekends I enjoy getting out with the local girls here in the NW burbs.
I can imagine having my things just hanging in a closet my wife can see though, it sure must be nice that she know all but doesn't rib you about it like other girls here.
I don't know if I would like to be jabbed about my desires and my wife is definitely the dominate one in the relationship.
Yes, my ears too are perked up when I her she is off on one of her "independent days".

I am very thankful that my wife has reached the accepting and supportive stage that when she is going out for the day to do her silversmithing she is comfortable enough to ask if I am going to have a "dressup " day.