"Making great strides!" Ok, but in CDing or transitioning?

I have read many posts here referring to "making great strides".
And, it hit me how different the meaning of that phrase may be for CD's from that of trans individuals!:eek:

As a CD I think I'm making progress when I:

Go out to new and more varied and exotic venues dressed.
Wear increasingly bizarre, exotic, and sexy outfits.
Presenting ever more realistically female and sexy.:battingeyelashes:
Attend new T friendly events with other dressers.:hugs:

While transitioning dressers seem to care less about those things. To them progress is based on coming out and presenting simply as a female, any female.
In as many everyday venues as they able to, based on their own circumstances.:thumbsup:

I may be off base or have simplified some complicated issues? Your thots?:daydreaming:

I think it really is about each individual's journey, and what the "goal" is for them. For myself, great strides come in the form of presentation/makeup skill, but also in acceptance and understanding from those around me.

I am more aligned with the transitioning subset even though I am not transitioning. Although I would not enjoy it nearly as much if I was blending in as I really enjoy the range of clothes women can wear. (And for the two people on this site who call that a fetish, I do not blend in when in male clothes either, I dress nicely all the time.)

Sherry,
I feel you need to differentiate between living life as a CDer and living life as a TG or TS person .

I also feel you assume some of us are oblivious to look really good and even sexy at times not because we are CDers but because it's what women want to do at times .

To me successful transition means being comfortable living life as a female and not a male , which is to do with dealing with GD . I don't feel I'm prepared to be any female my identity is Teresa or Terri to most of my friends.

Of course we take in as many everyday venues because it's part of our lives we are living as our true selves .

I know I have taken gambles to make big strides in changing my life , when I first joined the forum I would never had dreamt I would be writing these words , all I can say is now the dust is finally settling it feels so good .

It is the difference between playing a woman and becoming a woman.

You are right they are two different things. With two completely different goals.

So the definitions can vary, as it depends on your view.

It's not a right and a wrong type of thing. It's a not everyone is the same kind of thing.

It is the difference between you and me.

Sherry,

I think there's also the distinction to be drawn in that you opt not to generally go to what you refer to as vanilla venues. You're mixing with a different crowd to that I'm likely to be found in.

True I frequent LGBTQ friendly venues but that makes up a small part of the total. I'm more likely to be out shopping or dining in a restaurant, mixing in with the every day folk.

So progress for me has been integrating ever more into every day society. I'm not looking to transition, my goal is to blend in as best I can.

So progress for me is getting my makeup ever better, improving my wardrobe so Helen has her style of dress, one GG's admire, and to do more of the every day normal things any GG would do.

My progress is measured i suppose by just how much I integrate into daily life.

I think you are striding out well in your own way.

The dioramas and situations you present are all a part of you and might I say unique.

Stick to your goals in your footnote and other quests will come along more easily.


Mmm! Who am I preaching to a goddess. :-)

My question is why does there have to be progress if someone has accepted themselves as a crossdresser and has found their level of contentment? I personally think that we should adhere more closely to the various forum sections. It took me a long time including discussing this topic in therapy to come to grips with the blurred lines. Or to put it another way, members posting about living full time in the CD section caused me a lot of anxiety about my own journey.

Doc I think you may be correct.
Before I was always, always into fashion, into being the "typical" female whatever that is. You know, always in skirts and dresses, heels and hose, perfect makeup and hair.
Over the last few years that has definitely changed. It's not that I don't still love that aspect but it's lost its importance in my life. I find I'm just as happy in jeans and t-shirt, a touch of makeup, hair a bit messy and running to the grocery store as I used to be going all out and hitting the clubs.
Maybe it's that I'm less CD and more TG, maybe I've grown in my own skin. I don't know and don't know where I'm headed, but I'm still enjoying the journey.

I agree with you I think making stides is gettingout to grocery store to the bar or venue and enjoying yourself dressed as a girl (DRAG) While I do dress to blend its not full time and I have no desire to cross over. Getting done up, girly if FUN

They've closed and restricted almost every public venue BUT grocery stores. in case no one has noticed, we're all living with a boot on our necks.

My response to this is that the grocery store is now where I am going to present myself. And now I'm finding that I'm out presenting 10x more than I ever was when I was looking exclusively for "X-friendly" places and events.

I've found that almost everyone is just as friendly anyway, so the training wheels are now off for good, if that is a great stride. I will still attend events (with the exception of big weekend gender "conferences" which I don't want any part of, if they still happen) if they sound fun.

I don't drink, so bars were never much of a thing for me anyway.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Helen_Highwater

Sherry,

I think there's also the distinction to be drawn in that you opt not to generally go to what you refer to as vanilla venues. You're mixing with a different crowd to that I'm likely to be found in.

True I frequent LGBTQ friendly venues but that makes up a small part of the total. I'm more likely to be out shopping or dining in a restaurant, mixing in with the every day folk.

So progress for me has been integrating ever more into every day society. I'm not looking to transition, my goal is to blend in as best I can.

So progress for me is getting my makeup ever better, improving my wardrobe so Helen has her style of dress, one GG's admire, and to do more of the every day normal things any GG would do.

My progress is measured i suppose by just how much I integrate into daily life.

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Thank u for bringing up another great distinction, Helen. Dressing to blend is NOT in many CD's playbook. Certainly NOT mine! :thumbsdn:
I want to look as fem as sexy as possible. Or, I won't dress at all!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cheryl T

Doc I think you may be correct.
Before I was always, always into fashion, into being the "typical" female whatever that is. You know, always in skirts and dresses, heels and hose, perfect makeup and hair.
Over the last few years that has definitely changed. It's not that I don't still love that aspect but it's lost its importance in my life. I find I'm just as happy in jeans and t-shirt, a touch of makeup, hair a bit messy and running to the grocery store as I used to be going all out and hitting the clubs.
Maybe it's that I'm less CD and more TG, maybe I've grown in my own skin. I don't know and don't know where I'm headed, but I'm still enjoying the journey.

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I started dressing gradually, Cheryl. Throwing on a piece here, nylons there. Then, heels and a bra and forms. But, once I began going dressing all the way and was astonished by my image in my mirror?:eek:
Just throwing on a few things these days is like parking my Harley to ride a kid's trike!:battingeyelashes:

Kim,
I see no harm in that to me it just feels good , I feel I've arrived where I'm comfortable , my social groups give me the opportunity to let my hair down and have some fun . I still enjoy meeting up with my TS friend having coffee and take in some shopping , we are taken very much as two ladies out socially .

There is a wide variety of people in this group, anywhere from guys who wear their wife's panties from time to time to those who have had male to female surgery and live full time as females. Even among those of us who identify as "crossdressers", there is a wide range of behaviors. Some try to project as "normal" women (I am in this group), while others go to extremes to look glamorous or sexy. Some dress at home or go out and do typical "female" things like shopping or dining while others hang out in bars and clubs wearing sexy outfits. Some like to remain anonymous while others like to draw attention to themselves.

Nobody is right or wrong, it's "different strokes for different folks" as they say.

The only caution is, when seeking advice from others here, it's important to understand that well meaning advice given may not be the best advice for you.

I understand all that but other forums I have belonged to on other topics have been very strict about policing the forum categories and not allowing any deviation from their structure. It is a bit more wide open here and the very nature of what we discuss has more gray areas that forums on other topics. It has taken me a while to wrap my head around all the variety here but I think I understand. The walls between sections are short and invite stepping back and forth. I just didn?t get that as a new member.

Star,
Surely that's the whole point , why do we have to have walls or be retsricted by them . You ask for help and can only get it if the forum is open , that is assuming you want to move to a better situation than you're in at the moment .

Teresa, I understand what you are saying but am just going telling my experience when I was new here. When most of the posts centered on dressing full time and going out in public I often had to check to make sure I was in the right section. Likewise the subtle message I was getting that those of us in a DADT should demand our freedom and leave the relationship if our demands aren?t met. There were a lot of messages I was getting from posts until got a better feel for the group. Admittedly a lot of it was my interpretation but as a more restricted dresser I still sometimes feel like we are the silent red headed step children of the forum.

Well, admittedly, the lines blur.

It's not just here. Go to one of the big weekend 'conferences' at hotels that have been historically heavily promoted as a safe venue for closet CD's to meet others, and you'll find they have all become TG conferences, and offer educational panels on almost everything but how to happily live in the closet.

The you will find that they are all heavily sponsored and paid for by plastic surgery groups, therapists, sellers of HRT pills, etc, and that you were basically lured there on false pretenses to be made into a niche market.

That's true of the SCC events I attended, Wen. But, NOT of social T gatherings. Like Wild Side and DLV in Vegas.

They have makeup and wig vendors there. But, no transition services!:straightface:

Pretty sure I am not progressing.... more like just trying to hang on to what I had....

It may be oversimplification, the difference is what one does versus who you are. Regardless, you are an amazing person and I miss being part of your journey.

No great strides lately. For the last year it's been 'dancing madly backwards'. Although I did go to Hamburger Mary's with local CD friends a couple of weeks ago. We're planning more outing get togethers now that venues are slowly opening up.

Star,
I'm sorry but I don't know what you feel you would achieve by having a separate section for those still deep in the closet . In the past you have commented that would like to come out more , surely talking to others and reading their stories has to be helpful in making your life better .

I was desparate to find a direction when I joined the forum , I really can't answer where I would be if I hadn't joined , perhaps I might have succeeded in ending my life at my next attempt .

I met another member who introduced me to her social group and since then I've met up with other members of the forum including dear Shelly Preston .