New to transition and my story

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03-30-2010, 12:07 AM
JesseThirteen

New to transition and my story

Hello all! My name is Jesse. I'm 21 years old and I'm an art student currently studying Illustration.

I've known for a long time that I'm not a "girl." Probably since I was able to be aware of myself. I had an older brother and I always wanted to hang out with him. I used to want to walk around without a shirt on and all of my best friends when I was little were boys. Not that this really means anything, it's just funny that I always "knew."

I started thinking I was gay when I turned 13. I began noticing other girls. I got my first real girlfriend when I was 17, and a year later I broke up with her because I fell in love with my best friend. She (my best friend) confessed to me four days after my 19th birthday. I had just gotten my lip pierced and I was in love with life.

A year of painfully hiding my love of her from our parents and our friends later, we moved to the capital city and she started going to school to become a veterinary technician. She said she wanted to take a break to concentrate on school, I was hurt but I understood and wanted to do everything to help her out. We never got back together. She wonders if she is straight, and if I am enough to keep her happy. Sadness. :(

It was then that I started to realize what I had always known was true, I am really a guy. I had been having confusing feelings in the past, but after watching a few documentaries and reading up on it, I realized I wasn't alone. I had started to accept who I am and what that meant.

I'm still not "out" to the people in my life other than my ex, and a few really close friends. I haven't begun transitioning other than letting my confidants know that I prefer to be referred to as "he" and I've binded a bit.

I'm not quite sure where to go next. I would like to get into therapy but I don't know if I have the time or the resources to do it. I've researched some, and found a clinic for transexuals to get therapy nearby, but I'm not sure if I'm ready. I hope you guys can help me out and give me the courage to keep on going!

I guess any websites or blogs or something talking about someone's transition or how to go about transitioning would be a huge help! Thanks!! :)
03-30-2010, 12:12 AM
Aubrey Green

Welcome to the club Jesse! You will find loads of support here. Ask alot of questions, because there are many here that are going and have gone thru what you are experiencing now.
Good luck with your journey!
:hugs:
03-30-2010, 12:35 AM
JesseThirteen

Thanks Aubrey! :)
03-30-2010, 03:39 AM
Andy66

Hey, a new guy! Pleased to meet you, new guy. :wave:
03-30-2010, 03:45 AM
JesseThirteen

And it's very nice to meet you, Anne. ;)
03-30-2010, 04:01 AM
Felix

Hi Jesse and welcome to our club its a great place to be I've been here since 2006 and I'm 15 months into my transition. You'll find loads of useful information on here and when you've posted ten posts I think you will be able to join the boys club house where you will find loads more stuff which is specific to us boys :) Also you will be able to join the FTM transitioning section here you will find stories about all us boys who are transitioning and all at differing stages which is really useful. Have fun there are lots of very friendly, supportive peeps here who can help you so feel free to ask xx Felix :hugs:
03-30-2010, 04:11 AM
DanielMacBride

Hi Jesse, welcome! :) Once you have 10 posts under your belt you can apply to join the FTM Transitioning section - a lot of us boys have transition journals in there where you can read about our personal experiences of transition :)

Anyway, welcome aboard, I look forward to getting to know you :)
03-30-2010, 05:08 AM
NiCo

Welcome! Hope you find what you need here!
03-30-2010, 10:40 AM
GypsyKaren

Hiya Jesse

Welcome to the family! I can tell you that you will not find a better and more supportive bunch than the guys here, they really go out of their way to help.

Karen :g1:
03-30-2010, 11:35 AM
JesseThirteen

Quote:

Originally Posted by Felix

Have fun there are lots of very friendly, supportive peeps here who can help you so feel free to ask xx Felix :hugs:

Thanks Felix, sounds great. :hugs:

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanielMacBride

Anyway, welcome aboard, I look forward to getting to know you :)

I hope to get to know you as well! :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by NiCo

Welcome! Hope you find what you need here!

Thanks NiCo!

Quote:

Originally Posted by GypsyKaren

Hiya Jesse

Welcome to the family! I can tell you that you will not find a better and more supportive bunch than the guys here, they really go out of their way to help.

Karen :g1:

Thanks Karen! I've already had a very warm welcome. :)
03-30-2010, 11:39 AM
metalguy639

Hey Jesse, I do not come around an awful lot I'm usually pretty busy with work but we are all here to help you with what you need. there are some really good helpful web sites & places out there.
03-30-2010, 02:18 PM
Thornton

Well, hello there Jesse. Welcome to the forum! :wave:
03-30-2010, 03:19 PM
mistunderstood

Hi ]esse. Welcome to the group. Nice to see another person from Ohio on the forum. There is a group on-line you can join call FTM Mentors. Here is the link to them-http://www.ftmmentors.org/main/index.php
They are a small group but has people on there who are willing to help to.
03-30-2010, 04:15 PM
JesseThirteen

Quote:

Originally Posted by metalguy639

Hey Jesse, I do not come around an awful lot I'm usually pretty busy with work but we are all here to help you with what you need. there are some really good helpful web sites & places out there.

Nice to meet you!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thornton

Well, hello there Jesse. Welcome to the forum! :wave:

Thanks! Nice to meet you. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by mistunderstood

There is a group on-line you can join call FTM Mentors. Here is the link to them-http://www.ftmmentors.org/main/index.php
They are a small group but has people on there who are willing to help to.

Wow sounds great! Thanks!
03-30-2010, 06:36 PM
Abraxas

Hey Jesse-

Welcome! Yeah like the other guys said, 10 posts gets you access to the clubhouse, where there's more in-depth transition information. Also, check Youtube for thousands of vids about transition. Several of the guys on here, including myself (although sporadically) post videos. My username is Roryftm if you wanna check me out on there, although I'm not sure how useful my vids would be. ;-)
03-30-2010, 07:09 PM
KrazyKat

Welcome, Jesse!! Great to read your story, looking forward to your posts!!:hugs:
03-30-2010, 10:59 PM
pamela_a

I'm glad you found this place Jesse. The guys here are great (and so are the girls) and there is a wealth of information and support to be had.

Welcome and don't be afraid to ask
03-31-2010, 08:32 AM
SirTrey

Hi Jesse....Nice to meet you....I'm from Ohio also and in My third year of transition....Will be happy to help you any way I can....:thumbsup::drink:
03-31-2010, 03:32 PM
mylilsecret8

Hi , Jesse and welcome Sir! I haven't been here long either but as many of the other guys have stated, this site is wonderful!!
03-31-2010, 04:36 PM
WalT

Hi fellow transman! :wave:

Just as an FYI, most places that offer counseling or therapy services offer payment on a sliding scale for individuals who cannot normally afford their services. It's always good to ask! I highly suggest it to move forward with transitioning, because transitioning is a lengthy process and it can be as much as six months to a year from the time you start gender therapy to the time you get a letter for testosterone. Not trying to push you into doing anything, it's just a decision to think about.
04-01-2010, 12:16 AM
JesseThirteen

Thanks for the warm welcomes, everyone! :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by WalT

Just as an FYI, most places that offer counseling or therapy services offer payment on a sliding scale for individuals who cannot normally afford their services. It's always good to ask! I highly suggest it to move forward with transitioning, because transitioning is a lengthy process and it can be as much as six months to a year from the time you start gender therapy to the time you get a letter for testosterone. Not trying to push you into doing anything, it's just a decision to think about.

Wow, great to know, thanks! Also, yeah I know it takes a very long time to even get started transitioning, that's why I've decided it's time. I'm already 21, I've been waiting so long! Haha.