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Alone
We see so many posts planning with such glee the times you have to dress when either you are going on a trip or the wife ( family) is away so you can dress freely.
Do you at times wish you lived alone ? Does the thought cross your mind? Do you wish things would be different? And how so?
I will write more later.
Just wondering.
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I'll start with a No I don't wish to live alone. My wife has been fighting Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer sine June of 2015. I don't know how much more time I have with her but I cherish every moment I have with her.
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I have lived on both sides of the fence
I was married and dressing in secret for a while
I told my then wife and she was DADT for a while.
Then became more accepting and I was able to dress whenever I wanted
then separated and now living alone and am free to dress whenever I want
Sure I do prefer dressing, But certainly would not risk family or friendship for my dressing time.
the failure in the marriage certainly had nothing to do with my dressing. Just so that is clear
I was the one that had enough and decided it was over
PS: thanks for stimulatingly the forum and creating some thought about a post. :)
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Interesting question. I have been alone now for more than 5 years, but not by choice. I have been able to dress as I wish when I choose to do so.
Does this make up for the loss of a partner? For me, the answer is No.
But honestly, after two long marriages, each ending due to my own mistakes and bad judgement, I am unwilling to make the effort to start a new relationship.
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My background is similar to Raychel.
Being an only child I had time to myself as both parents worked.
I married and stayed in the closet stealing time when I could, always on pins and needles, but loving the time I had to myself.
She discovered me and it became DADT. That lasted nearly 20 years till I could no longer remain in the closet.
I told her of my need for expression, we talked and talked and she agreed to try. After some time, more talk, joining a crossdressers group and talking with others she became accepting and I was free to dress when I please. We also would go out together and with others from the group.
Now I dress daily and she's fully accepting. There are stretches of a week or so where I am 24/7 before something requires me to be in drab. The family is unaware as are most of the neighbors so some privacy is maintained.
Do I wish I was alone? No, I love sharing all of me with my wife and wish it could have happened long ago so that those moments I stole from her to be me could have been shared with her as well.
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I do not wish I lived alone. I am lucky to have a wife who is supportive. We have agreed boundaries and life with my lovely wife is wonderful and I would not change a thing.
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I have had thoughts of it being better to be alone for the sake of CD'ing. But, the reality is that my wife makes my heart beat.
Total DADT and there will never be any give in that situation. On the other hand, I don't have to hide anything.
And I get plenty of privacy to dress up. I've had times of extended alone time and truly enjoyed the 24/7 experience.
Except the loneliness that eventually creeps in to the situation. Cd'ing is something I'm obsessed with and totally enjoy.
But my relationship with my wife is far more important. She's the love of my life.
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Stephanie 334 recently posted about the "new normal" of being alone. I tried not to empathize too much but failed. Reading and relating to the story caused me to have a panic attack thinking of the health situations my wife and I have been in over the 3 decades. It's a HUGE NO to being alone for me. She tolerates my dressing and the complications it brings and I appreciate her for it. We both wish it were easier.
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No. I do agree with your assessment and probably fall into that category of dressing when alone or on a trip. My wife and I are in a deep DADT. Before she fully retired I had many days per week to fully dress. I did all the domestic chores a la June Cleaver. When she would visit our daughter or her cousin out of state for a week to ten days I could and did dress 24/7. I miss those opportunities and wish my wife did have some interests that would give me some Stephanie time. In the beginning I was always grabbing those "crumbs of time" as I call it. The nerve racking thing is not being able to fully express myself with the person I love. I will say, if my wife were to pass away before me, there would be no way in hell I would ever be put into a restrictive relationship again.
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Di,
I have an accepting/ supportive wife and I can dress when I want . We pretty much spend our free time together , and I?ve lived alone before I met her for a few years. For the amount I dress, I?m happy that she?s here.
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I absolutely love being a part-time woman. In fact, I'm obsessed with the idea. If I was 40 yrs younger with the resources, I would become the beautiful young lady that I can now only dream of being. Even if I had a fairy godmother who could wave her magic wand and make this dream come true, I would not request it. I have one thing that I would not trade for the opportunity to live the rest of my life as the woman I so long to be... and that is the loving relationships that I have with my family members. That being said... If I had one wish, I would wish to live in parallel universes so that I could live out both scenarios! teehee. I know that's cheating... but hey... it's my wish! lol. 😉
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No idea to be honest. I have been busy with some things to even consider any of this without guilt or even frustration appearing.
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Do I at times wish I lived alone? Does the thought cross my mind?
No, never, absolutely not, even for a nano-second. I am one of those really, really lucky guys who has an amazing supportive, understanding and participating wife who has never restricted me.
In fact, almost all of the time when I dress as Teresa for a day, a few days, or even longer periods when on vacation travel, is when we are together.
When I dress alone to live out my fantasy that I am a pretty feminine woman is lots of fun. But nothing beats being with my wife who is great at pretending to be my girlfriend and for us to just have fun together. In reality though, is matters not what persona I present, the two of us are happiest when we are together.
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I can't say that I've never thought about it.
My relationship with my wife is DADT. I just took a quick shower, all the time worried that my wife would get unglued from watching the Olympics and come up and see my painted toenails.
Unlike many of the rest of you, my wife and I are more like housemates rather than lovers.
So, I do think about it from time to time.
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I divorced 3 years ago ( wife left me) - Now I am very happy for the time being and am able to CD when I want- I LOVE living alone ! I love being single and free ( I was married for 23 years so I dont want to go back there ever again) If I was married right now I would not dress though ( I used to dress some rare times secretly- the wife never knew) Im a bit of a lone wolf, I am a bit eccentric and I am at peace and love my times of solitude. Its not like I dont get out and about though.
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I live alone and my life is really good. I visit my family all the time. But when I get home and close the door I am Suzy. Its the best of both worlds for me.
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I never have been married nor had a SO, but i have had housemates and i had to hide it all, from the guy and women i shared places with Have lived alone for 13 yrs now. but very seldom have dressed the past year. Health problems, loss of job, moving a lot, and my mental and emotional and social health issues, too. I need to change and get well, and sometimes i just totally isolate myself in my own world, and dressing makes it even worse, as a loner, and isolating, and i am trying to quit for good.
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Well, I am Lana Mae 24/7/365! I live with my daughter who is totally accepting! My wife passed away over 5 years ago! I did not really start dressing until she passed! I do get lonely at times for the holding, hugging, and cuddling! I am holding my options open but am not really looking for anyone, but... LOL Hugs Lana Mae
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I don't want to live alone. I do want more time alone though.
I'm the type of person that needs time alone to recharge, and also craves time alone to dress. It's no reflection on my wife or daughter, but on me.
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Hi Di :hugs:, I almost lost My:love:Wife to a Major Heart Attack four years ago
and I thought I would not be able to go on, Now we have been Married 57 years
Five Bypasses Later and life is Great, We have a very workable DA/DT She knows about Everything
but just don't want to see me while I am Dressed,
She Did Pierce my Ears for me 6 Years ago, >Orchid **O:daydreaming:O**
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These have been so hard times to navigate that I am glad I am not on my own even if it means dressing is limited. The damage to mental health through isolation alone would be far greater.
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I was single until I was 39. I enjoyed my time alone. If something happened to my wife, I would not have a problem going back.
Sara
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Yes I wish I lived alone, as things are kinda getting rocky nearly 18 years in.
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Di,
I can not say this is true for anyone else. I have always had to do some travel for work during my 35+ years of marriage. In my case I think that occasional separation ( for work ) is beneficial. We get breaks from each other, and I think it might make us appreciate each other a little more.
Although I look forward to being able to get away for a while and dress up, that does not equate to wanting to be alone. Honestly I think my lifestyle would not be as healthy without my wife. Maybe that is why I think I read somewhere that married people tend to live longer.
So no I would not want to live alone but it would be nice if my wife could be slightly tolerant of dressing. It is just not going to happen so I quit trying. I just dress when we are away from each other and in doing so keep the peace. Some people find that distasteful but it works for me - at least so far.
Sandi
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I have been single for 15 years and at first I thought I wanted to be married again. Now that time has passed I have chosen to live alone, but I do enjoy a somewhat healthy dating routine. I date when I want and stay alone when I want.