If you love one another...
DC,
Good for you both in working things out together. So far, so good.
I really do not understand some of the harsh comments you have received. Your wife took a stand on how things were going and did not sneak off and hire an attorney to sue you for divorce. She more or less said, "Hey, we're BOTH being stupid to dance around our differences; let's do something about working out a new and better arrangement."
Sounds like a good marriage to me. And, believe me, you can love each other - married or not - and live happy lives, married or not.
The purpose of marriage is not to see how much you can hurt another person, but to see how much you can help each other. You give so that they can live better; they give so that you can live better. Being tied up in a marriage contract is not necessarily helpful to two people being happy. It can be helpful, but in and of itself it's just a form to work within. If the fit is not good, it's a hard chore for two people to live in such a space.
If nothing else the defined roles and "general expectations" make it hard to work out a life when everyone keeps butting into your private arrangements. It seems strange to me to read of "society's disapproval" for CDing on this forum, for example, and, at the same time by these same people, not be allowed to work out your own private arrangements.
Some members of my family gave me several rounds of grief over "my" problem and how unfair I was being to my wife. They kept protesting that we did not have a good marriage, that it had to be some kind of sham. I was surprised to hear this from two of them in particular, because between them they'd been divorced five or six times. I should worry what they thought "I" should do?
Plus, as I pointed out to them, my wife had her own job, her own savings, her own friends, her own family, etc. AND could probably fight me to at least a draw in boxing, wrestling, and/or crossword puzzles. The wife had her things she liked about being married, and I had mine. What some members of my family thought of our personal arrangements was, frankly, none of their business. Neither one of them was married to either one of us...
Good luck going forward. I take it from your "giddiness" with your breast forms and showing them to your wife that both of you are willing to just, "Call a cat a cat" and do some work to redefine your relationship. You've been dying to get this off (on?) your chest and she's been unwilling to talk about it so long as you "had" to be (the) husband and she "had" to be (the) wife. That wasn't working so you both willingly tried a new approach. Fine. See where it goes. You both need a break.
My guess and my hope is that all this will turn out to be a good thing for both of you. If things couldn't go on like they were, better things should change - creating new opportunity for happiness.
Who knows where you will be a year from now. But, if next year was like last year, who'd want to do that over again anyway?
Good for both of you for trying for something better.
Good luck.