My wifes Comments last night

Last night my wife and I were in bed reading and she tells me she now sees why I seem to pass when I go out dressed. I looked at her in interest and asked "How". It is always an interest when a GG and spouse tells you why she thinks why you pass.

She told me

1. Your shoe size is norm for a female (Size 8.5 US)
2. Your dress size is norm for a female (Size 12/14 US)
3. With your weight loss, you have a more fem figure.
4. You have no hair on your arms and hands and they do look fem with your long acrylic nails and polish.
5. Your legs are very fem looking
6. When your dressed your walk and actions become very fem.
7. Your facial features are smooth and look soft. (I use Olay products everyday and I have no adams apple)
8. The only defect is your voice. (I know that and working on it LOL)

She said, "To tell you the truth, when I first saw you in the garage that Sunday, my first thought was "Who is this woman" then you spoke then I realize it was you.

I thought "WOW". I then thanked her for the comments. I told her that I did not want other people to notice me, so I try to dress and act enough like a female that I will blend in and other people will not take any more notice of me than they would most other women.

All of those 'marks' are typically what people look at for deciding fem or masculine. But I've known many women without many of them and they are never questioned.

It's nice to have such a supporting spouse. We all envy you.

Your wife is great and without doubt offers lots of support. You are a very lucky person and are doing a great job of presenting yourself and enjoying the results. We should all be that lucky.:hugs:

Unfortunately, I think this one of the biggest issues between my wife and I at the moment... that I look reasonably passable and not like just some guy in a dress. Be ever so happy your wife pays you that compliment!

You are indeed blessed! Remember to take really good care of this gem.

You have a wonderful wife!! Mine came home a couple of weeks ago when I was dressed and I was waiting at the door off the garage and she gave me this look!!! She at first was wondering' Who in the.. is this? Then realized it was... MOI!!! She was VERY suprised, indeed!!

I have posted my thoughts before sis, but I'll repeat them for new members.

The human brain is a wonderous thing. It stores images we are not aware of. Then when needed it recalls them. For instance, I draw you an elephant. Your brain quickly recalls many stored photos of elephants and makes a quick decision whether it indeed looks like an elephant or not. Then you compliment my skills (or avoid expressing your opinion that I can't draw worth squat).

Same goes for us. When someone looks at us dressed their brain quickly does a scan and compares to images stored previously...and mannerisms. The higher the initial total points for "female" we get the slimmer the chance a second tally will be requested by the subconscious. Alarms don't go off. We "pass".

I told you that you had it made 2 years ago or more as far as not setting off alarms.


Emily Ann

Ive been following you story since her first discovery of you a few weeks a go, JoAnn.

And it seems that she's becoming a bit more accepting of you with every post...

If that's so, you've made it over a number of hurdles and look to be getting farther along with

a better relationship with your wife that includes more JoAnn time for you.

Congratulations, darling!

Emily.....

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I told you that you had it made 2 years ago or more as far as not setting off alarms.

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Yea, I know you did, but it counts more coming from the wife. :D


I still love you sis....................................

deja true.......She has known about me for about a year now. I told her then that I was a CDer. She was not a happy camper at that time and did not want to see me dressed or even pictures of me dressed. At that time she knew I wanted to join Tri-ess and said I could join but had to get dress there or in the garage. She did not want to see me dressed. This was the status until a few weeks ago when she was suppose to be at the library book sale. She go her times mixed up and we ended up coming face-to-face in the garage with me fully dressed. I think she had a lot of preconcieved notions about CDing and how I would look dressed. After seeing me dressed and talking a lot more, I guess she decided me being a CDer was not as bad as she thought and I looked better than she thought I would and I was not transistioning or any of the other horrors she had imagioned.
I think she is starting to enjoy it some too. Just the other day she asked if I would like two dresses of hers that she has not worn in over a year. She has MS and can no longer dress in dresses, skirts, hose, heels, and etc. One dress had long sleeves and the sleeves did not fit. The other was short sleeve and fit.

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Originally Posted by KeriB

Unfortunately, I think this one of the biggest issues between my wife and I at the moment... that I look reasonably passable and not like just some guy in a dress. Be ever so happy your wife pays you that compliment!

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Well, Geez, does she want you to look like Fred Flintstone in a dress! Maybe you oughta put it to her that way. :)

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Originally Posted by amandachick

Well, Geez, does she want you to look like Fred Flintstone in a dress! Maybe you oughta put it to her that way. :)

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LOL.... well, understand that I am considering transition, and I guess that my looking ok out there will empower me further... it's just one of many issues we're working on at the moment. She's already made comments about my legs/butt and being jealous...

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Unfortunately, I think this one of the biggest issues between my wife and I at the moment... that I look reasonably passable and not like just some guy in a dress.

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My wife said something similar and said that's why she didn't like it.

Well you are a lucky girl JoAnn. :hugs:
Angie

Hello joAnn i always look for your posting when ever i come
on here i wonder what your wife will do next.
any chance she will join you on this forum.

carolyn xx

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Originally Posted by Billie

My wife said something similar and said that's why she didn't like it.

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Billie/Keri,

My wife was totally supportive - thru transisioning in our early marriage, transisioning back 4 years later, continuing to wear fem clothes for the next 10 years, etc... What she couldn't handle was a lone weekend in July of 93 that changed her position on my dressing to this day. She was cleaning out the closet of maternity stuff (that would never be used again) and jokingly tossed at me an outfit that she never wore as it was to big. I had had surgery in early 92 that messed up my stomach muscles and I hadn't toned them back into shape so I looked about 6 months PG. Very long story short, living as a female for 4 years didn't bother her, dressing like a female for 10 years didn't bother her, but over the course of that weekend, being totally accepted as a pregnant woman for one weekend totally changed her view of me when dressed. Her comment was that durring all the other "stuff" she always saw "me" in what ever I was wearing...not a woman. But seeing me as a pregnant woman she saw me as just that...a woman...no longer her "man".

For about 6 months she was down right cold to me when I was dressed. Ok not dressed "normal" (I wore fem slacks/jeans/tops/etc every day) but "in a dress" or something similar. To that end, I haven't worn a dress since 95 (around her anyway).

She has cooled considerably since then, but it was a strain for about 3-4 years. The fem casual clothing stopped in 96 anyway as the oldest daughter suddenly became a fashion horse and noticed what I was wearing and asked her mother why I was wearing "her clothes"

anyway, just thought I'd share and congrats on the progress JoAnn

Jenn

Congrats to you and your wife for keeping the communication open! Moving slowly as you are, is IMO one of the best ways to have understanding with each other. Both of you are in a win - win situation, your wife for learning, accepting, and now seeing the CD side of life, and you for explaining your feelings, needs, and continuing to dress. Perhaps someday you will be out and about shopping as "girlfriends". Your thread gives alot of us hope to reach the point you have. Thanx for sharing.

Enjoy life, Chari

I want to say, that I feel very lucky that my wife decided that me being a CDer is OK and accepting me this way.
I have a lot of CD friends that either they told their wives or their wives found out, their relationship was distroyed, and they ended up divoirced over it. That was my biggest fear when I told my wife last year I was a CDer and have been since I was about 10-11. For the next year I was always a little concern, waiting for the other foot to drop, so to speak. Then about a month ago, she saw me fully dressed for the first time.
I think many wives have preconceived notions as to what a CDer is and what they look like dressed. When my wife saw me fully dressed, I think what she saw was not what her preconceptions were and as result she was very much relieved that it was not as bad as she thought. The result was acceptence.

It must be nice to have such a supportive wife.

JoAnn, I find all of your posts to be very interesting and never fail to read them. I am sure you know how fortunate you are to have such an understanding and approving wife. Unfortunately my wife and I divorced because she could not accept the cd side of me. Every time I read about a cd'er having an approving wife or SO I can only think how fortunate they are and begin to have feelings of envy. Take good care of her, she truly is a gem.