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  1. Thread: not coming out

    by phili
    Replies
    41
    Views
    2,437

    I design my own clothes now that I learned about...

    I design my own clothes now that I learned about pattern making and sewing techniques- and I am mulling over what a carpentry dress might look like- clingy is good. For outdoor gardening or tractorr...
  2. Thread: not coming out

    by phili
    Replies
    41
    Views
    2,437

    I think it boils down to individual personality....

    I think it boils down to individual personality. What parts of ourself feel private and to be preserved that way- and what parts do we want to share with others. It is TMI for me to share my...
  3. Replies
    43
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    1,684

    in deebra's defense- I don't think it useful to...

    in deebra's defense- I don't think it useful to speculate on people's motives here- it is guesswork and criticizing them is discouraging to sharing.

    The forum is very repetitive in terms of the...
  4. Replies
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    1,276

    Do you spend time in the company of women?

    I have enjoyed my sewing classes this spring- being with from 20-30 women of very diverse ages and cultures for 4-6 hours a day three days a week We were sitting and working together on projects,...
  5. Replies
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    1,684

    To add to that, I think the underlying...

    To add to that, I think the underlying sociobiology from millions of years of evolution is that males are bigger and stronger as a general rule, and tend to be sexually predatory/competitive-hence...
  6. Thread: Just go out

    by phili
    Replies
    17
    Views
    1,394

    Thanks for the positive feedback-I think it is...

    Thanks for the positive feedback-I think it is funny that I didn't even think my dress was that short- just on the short end of normal.

    And that illustrates one of the inner measuring tapes...
  7. Replies
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    1,031

    Super- sounds like you are an organizer for a...

    Super- sounds like you are an organizer for a virtual event- I've put on conferences so I think the light framework sounds fun and intriguing- and if my wife and I are not traveling I'd like to go....
  8. Thread: Current Thoughts

    by phili
    Replies
    16
    Views
    1,153

    HI Jason, You said : "I'm having a hard time...

    HI Jason,
    You said : "I'm having a hard time dealing with how much she hates a valuable part of me. She insists she doesn't hate part me of just hates the clothes. I can't as easily split them...
  9. Thread: Current Thoughts

    by phili
    Replies
    16
    Views
    1,153

    Hi Jason, I am so sorry to hear all this. My...

    Hi Jason,
    I am so sorry to hear all this. My wife finally did admit at the therapist that her FEAR was about 6 different versions of shame from others discovering my predilection, AND that it ruined...
  10. Thread: I wonder...

    by phili
    Replies
    9
    Views
    836

    My view of this is that the things we seek look...

    My view of this is that the things we seek look different when we get them, and they evolve from there. And, even more important, the things we seek are not always the things we seek- they just are...
  11. Thread: Just go out

    by phili
    Replies
    17
    Views
    1,394

    It is short, but not immodest- and doesn't blow...

    It is short, but not immodest- and doesn't blow up in the wind. I've looked around and occasionally females wear similar dresses. I like longer dresses as well- anything that has an artistic flair....
  12. Thread: I Walk Alone

    by phili
    Replies
    17
    Views
    1,122

    Bravo Brianna! my first experience was similar-...

    Bravo Brianna! my first experience was similar- the world is fine with mixed gender cues, and I found that I felt freer- I didn't have to fit anyone's idea of how a male or female 'should' look or...
  13. Thread: Just go out

    by phili
    Replies
    17
    Views
    1,394

    Just go out

    Last week I just felt I have gone over the waterfall- it is no longer an issue for me that I love wearing dresses and I am confident that it is not a meaningful issue to others who don't know me and...
  14. Replies
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    3,485

    I am a mirl- a male girl. I am male biologically,...

    I am a mirl- a male girl. I am male biologically, but feminine psychologically. I personally find that being male does not interfere with being feminine, sexually and otherwise. Of course, social...
  15. Hi again, Pandora. Your energy and sincerity and...

    Hi again, Pandora. Your energy and sincerity and willingness are evident. Your reasons to be hyper-vigilant are clear, and you have about a zillion huge stressors operating all at once.

    If I was...
  16. Wow- Dora, you have a wonderful capacity to be...

    Wow- Dora, you have a wonderful capacity to be articulate. None of what you have said seems strange- just normal couple being drastically out of sync in communications- i.e. one is asking one...
  17. Replies
    31
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    2,238

    I think her point is that she sees clothing as...

    I think her point is that she sees clothing as clothing and does not like the effect it has on you as a psychoactive drug. We are so used to brief stolen moments where we gaze at ourselves in...
  18. Replies
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    6,312

    We can see that many men have homosexual feelings...

    We can see that many men have homosexual feelings and experiences but do not want to e classified as gay or even bi. We could settle for 'mostly straight' but for the historical antagonism and fear...
  19. Replies
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    1,924

    Yay, Terri! Sounds like life is normalizing...

    Yay, Terri! Sounds like life is normalizing around you!
  20. Replies
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    4,866

    I have found myself everywhere on the spectrum...

    I have found myself everywhere on the spectrum from -"Guys? Yuck. I'm totally straight" to "I am a woman and only interested romantically in men." to "I am gay and prefer being a man with other men"...
  21. Replies
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    2,484

    Females are assigned and taught to be feminine,...

    Females are assigned and taught to be feminine, and their feeling that it is natural for them and pleasure in it varies, just like the corresponding experiences of males taught to be men. So even...
  22. Thread: Came Out Today

    by phili
    Replies
    28
    Views
    2,045

    My wife said I could be as feminine as i want,...

    My wife said I could be as feminine as i want, but I [actually, not speculatively! ] look terrible in a dress. And, that it terrifies her.

    As I think I look wonderful in a dress, and she can't...
  23. Replies
    8
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    716

    Kelly- It might help to realize that shaming, and...

    Kelly- It might help to realize that shaming, and the consequent internalization as guilt, are tools used by parents and teachers and other authorities to enforce gender performance on children. They...
  24. Replies
    85
    Views
    4,376

    I worry about this too, but at this weekends LGBT...

    I worry about this too, but at this weekends LGBT senior housing fundraiser there were lots of dresses- I was the only male in a dress, but I got lots of friendly compliments, and the lesbian femmes...
  25. Replies
    37
    Views
    1,627

    Hi Victoria, Many if not all of us have shared...

    Hi Victoria,
    Many if not all of us have shared that feeling of wanting to tell someone, in the hope that they will confirm our inner hope, belief, or even firm understanding that our desires are...
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