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I would excise Kat from my life, but I'd absolutely make her "another part of ME (as an integrated, otherwise self-stable man)" instead of "the borderline force-of-nature who takes over my body for...

Nikki,

I also feel like I'm both genders. It has been very confusing, because I'm more than "just" a cross-dresser, but not "a woman in a man's body". The best way I can say it is that I have a...

I think a lot depends on what response you expect, and on whether you can live with a non-supportive response. As the others have said, the "coming out" conversation is the beginning of the process,...

Sometimes "double lives" are about keeping safe. I have 4 different facets to my alternative sexuality (bisexual, polyamorous, submissive, and transvestite), and I can be fired without recourse for...

Very well said. I've come out to various people as bisexual; I've told people that I am submissive, with a married mistress who dominates me, and that I sleep with her husband as well. But I've told...

I'm really hairy all over, but I've had good luck "thinning it out" with an electric razor (the kind that comes with a dozen different attachments). People notice big changes, but not gradual ones...

Thanks, everyone, for the kind words and good advice. I do feel a lot of pressure to be "perfect", because there's a big part of me that still feels it's not okay for me to do this (this isn't just...

When I was younger, it was Nancy from "The Craft", Madonna, and Kat Bjelland from the band "Babes in Toyland" (still my avatar). Now, it's the unnamed Crone who lives simply and is in harmony with...

Most of the time, I'm so driven to program, write music, etc. that I don't care what I wear (or what I eat, whether I sleep, etc.). Most days, I wear the same clothes, or even pajamas if I don't have...

How do I deal with the disappointment that, when I dress, I don't look like the woman I see in my mind? I just don't have a very feminine body, and while I can correct some of this with shaping and...

I would get on stage and sing, like all the female artists I love so much. Or get in a go-go cage and dance like Lady Miss Kier of Deee-Lite.

Katie (Kat)

I don't know if my tastes are different, but I do like to listen to electronica when I'm en femme, while I don't listen to it at all when I'm in drab. And I always feel like dancing, which I never...

One thing I've found is that people don't like bisexuals almost as much as they don't like CD'ers or trans people. I don't know why that is, but it sucks when that's who you are.

Maybe it will...

Thanks for all the replies. It makes me feel a lot better to just have someone to talk to about this.

We had a pretty good dinner. I'm not ready to tell her yet. I know I could go on with my...

I'm going to have dinner with my (gg) friend today. She's my best friend, and she's concerned because I've been distant and depressed lately. I wish I could tell her that it's because I'm coming to...

Yeah, Kali really sums it up well. I even identify with the simplicity fixation, and hating how much effort all this takes. I'm lazy and low maintenance. If I was a gg, I'd shave my legs once a...

I'm a late bloomer: I wore my mom's clothes when I was a kid, but didn't really start dressing again until my mid-thirties. I don't try to "read" people who may be crossdressers, but I definitely...

I chose Kate, because I know a really strong-willed woman named Kate whom I admire a lot. Plus, I can make it Katie or Kat if I want to!

That sounds like an awful lot to deal with; I'm really sorry that there are so many negative things in your life right now. It's hard enough to try and figure out who you are in this world without...

I can remember going through all my parents' things when I was a teenager. Didn't find any dresses belonging to my dad (or my mom, either; I was a very impoverished cross-dresser until I moved...

I've been seeing my therapist for about 4 years. A lot of my issues involve trauma, but there is obviously gender counseling going on as well.

Friends are great, but it's a different kind of...

Does anyone else dance when they are dressed up? Especially if you never dance any other time?

I never feel comfortable dancing unless I'm dressed, and then I just want to shake it!

Oh my yes.

I had repressed my cross-dressing pretty well until I saw a movie with some VERY alluring gothic ladies. I knew as I watched that I was watching who I wanted to be. It was strange...

So much of it depends on the individuals in charge. Some will be okay with their own gender, and others won't. If they aren't, they will feel lots of anxiety about what you are doing because of...

I think this is very true. Now that I'm starting to come out again after a long time of repression, I find myself staring open-mouthed at the CD/TS women I meet. I think a lot of it is just longing...