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  1. Replies
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    1,630

    Well, I really think you need to find a way to be...

    Well, I really think you need to find a way to be honest with her. I was closeted for 45 years in our marriage and that repression had many negative effects on me during that time. The dishonesty and...
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    26
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    1,577

    You make some good points NancyJ. It seems to...

    You make some good points NancyJ. It seems to vary to a rather large extent as to what function that identity shift produces with the person who has suffered some kind of crisis. It can be an escape,...
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    1,292

    Kind of a reward for being, in your wife's eyes,...

    Kind of a reward for being, in your wife's eyes, such a good husband and a girl friend. Some women love that combination - looks like your wife is one of them. There are a lot of advantages for her...
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    2,688

    Reality is sometimes stranger than fiction. Great...

    Reality is sometimes stranger than fiction. Great adventure.
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    1,656

    Those first times for anything that kind of...

    Those first times for anything that kind of smacks of doing something out of the accepted social boundaries - sort of like being bad - can be exciting, but also instructive to see whether our fantasy...
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    2,359

    Around here tights and leggings are not unusual...

    Around here tights and leggings are not unusual on men, even quite masculine men. Not exactly common, but among those who do a lot of running it is quite normal. I have even seen old farts like me in...
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    You are correct, Geena. This is a well documented...

    You are correct, Geena. This is a well documented reaction to severe stressors in our lives. There are all sorts of explanations, but the actual cause or causes is unknown. One of the best...
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    2,371

    Rhonda, I think what might have happened is that...

    Rhonda, I think what might have happened is that your identity has become more defined such that it produces a realm for you where you are comfortable in a more non-binary style rather than the style...
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    2,291

    Heather, I am very much like you in that my...

    Heather, I am very much like you in that my comfort zone is with women and not with men. During my formative years there were a lot of women in my life and only one man I liked or was not afraid of -...
  10. Replies
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    2,441

    Congrats. You have been bitten by a really good...

    Congrats. You have been bitten by a really good bug. For many the calming effect can be intense. You have pleased that part of your identity that defines at least a big portion of your sense of self...
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    Quite honestly, I have no idea. I probably would...

    Quite honestly, I have no idea. I probably would have grown up in the midst of different influences and a different mind set. But assuming I would have gone through the same kinds of environment that...
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    Congratulations, Eva. I retired back in 2009. It...

    Congratulations, Eva. I retired back in 2009. It has been a bit of a mixed bag, but on the whole it is good. I relaxed quite a bit the first year but then found relaxation began to bug me. So I went...
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    Welcome. Turquoise. Your situation is incredibly...

    Welcome. Turquoise. Your situation is incredibly common. It is good that you came out to her. Admitting to this trait is liberating. But the fact that she is quickly supportive is a bit unusual -...
  14. What an adventure. But you did it well. Yes,...

    What an adventure. But you did it well. Yes, ignoring the naysayers is the best policy. Acknowledging them just encourages their knuckle dragging behavior.
  15. I agree Sara. I think the ability to have a baby...

    I agree Sara. I think the ability to have a baby is actually talking about reproductive biology and not gender traits. It is a throwback to the sex=gender kind of thinking. You can also turn this...
  16. Excellent, SaraLin. We do things because we think...

    Excellent, SaraLin. We do things because we think about them before hand and that is the switch that turns on some kind of expression of what we are feeling. But it is easy to perceive it as what we...
  17. I think that is an astute observation, Sherry....

    I think that is an astute observation, Sherry. The fact is no one can feel like someone else except in a general sense through empathy and similar perceptions. But even then it is only an...
  18. Thread: What if ?

    by GretchenM
    Replies
    31
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    3,417

    Probabilities apply to everything. The genes you...

    Probabilities apply to everything. The genes you inherited that form the foundation of you could have been different. A little different or a whole lot different. But the probability of someone being...
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    Welcome! You are in a good place where you can...

    Welcome! You are in a good place where you can talk about your feelings and your situation and not fear retribution. Not everybody is transition material; in fact a majority are not. So you do what...
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    An interesting post, Rhonda. I don't go out, but...

    An interesting post, Rhonda. I don't go out, but my sense of society is similar to yours. Much more acceptance or at the minimum tolerance of people's choices. Of course there are the public policies...
  21. Thread: How to stop?

    by GretchenM
    Replies
    80
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    6,815

    It all depends on why you dress in the first...

    It all depends on why you dress in the first place. For most the motivation rests very deep in our sense of who we are. But if you are among those who do not actually have those deep sensations and...
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    Here in Colorado leggings are common, but mostly...

    Here in Colorado leggings are common, but mostly on women. Especially in the winter. Skiers wear them a lot under their ski pants - they have replaced panty hose to keep you warmer. Men wear them out...
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    Debbie, that is a difficult subject for sure....

    Debbie, that is a difficult subject for sure. Certainly a lack of acceptance on any basis can lead to difficulties in the mental health department. And it is probably pretty well known that the lack...
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    2,371

    Partly in the closet; partly out. I rarely dress...

    Partly in the closet; partly out. I rarely dress fully with makeup and the like, but that is fun and produces a different sense of self when I do. But opportunities are few and far between as my wife...
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    Rachael, welcome and a beautiful post. It is an...

    Rachael, welcome and a beautiful post. It is an interesting community here! And one that can alter one's perception of the world.

    As for the effects of having 6 sisters, that is significant but...
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