Well, it's been a while since I posted here...the news is not so good.

We have been married since 10/15/06. I have an 18 year old at college and a 15 year old at home. He has a 12 year old who stays with us 4 days a month.

On the night of Jan 26, while I was in class, my husband got a hold of my 15 year old son's laptop. I am not sure why he was snooping on it... but he found a picture of his daughter on my son's computer...it was taken under the bathroom door and she was naked.

My son happened to be staying at his dad's that night, Thank God.

I was devastated...I cried...I drank...heavily, that night. My husband held me, told me to stop crying....we talked about what to do.

Tuesday. I called my son's father, I called counselors, etc. I decided on counseling, a part time job (he apparently has too much time on his hands), staggered visitation so they would not be in the same house at the same time.

My husband stayed home from work. Wednesday, he resorted to staying in bed all day (he does this when he is depressed)

I understand the severity of this...I really do...but what happened next..I have no idea....

At 4:00pm I went up to the bedroom and he asked me to make him a grilled cheese sandwich and soup. I did.
When I bought it up to him, he started berating me...(a new different attitude) He said that my son would have never done it if I had raised him right...etc. He acted like my son was a deviant. I told him that he wasn't, the professionals I had been talking to told me it was common, just because you throw kids together and tell them that they are FAMILY, doesn't mean they view each other as brother and sister. To my son...she was just a naked girl in the bathroom.

He was angry...I don't blame him, but 2 days LATER?

Then he started putting me down...verbally abusing me. He started talking about what a deviant my son was and how he was going to tell his ex wife what he had done. I told him that she would never understand...she was the one who didn't understand the clothes she found in his trunk (her clothes, his daughter's clothes, and mysterious clothes)

I told him that she thought he was a 'deviant' for using his YOUNG daughters clothes to dress (he would cut them up and wear them, like a toddlers bathing suit would turn into a thong.) He didn't know that she and I had talked about all this. I am not even sure he knew that she had seen what was in his trunk. I told him that I needed his help to get through this, I asked him to go to therapy with me to get the help we needed to get though this. (He has always avoided therapy like the plague)

I left the bedroom and he followed me. I was getting some clothes and things together to take to my son. I was taking his laptop so his father could see what was on it too. (porn)

In my arms, I had his laptop, a pair of jeans and a page out of the local paper (police blotter - minor caught with obscene material) trying to drive it home that what he did was bad and porn is not good either.

That is when the screaming started, HIM, not me. It was My fault..."YOU HAD NO RIGHT!" I have no idea what he was talking about...I think he was referring to discussing his crossdressing with his ex-wife, the stuff in his trunk, the fact that he uses his daughter's clothing to dress.

Then he punched me in the chest. Closed fist, as hard as he could. I just stood there. I was not even arguing with him, I was letting him rant. It took 7 days before the pain started to go away. I thought I had broken a rib.

The he said, "Let's just end this right now...me and you..now!" then he took all my keys and told me I wasn't going anywhere.

I feared for my life.

Finally, he threw my keys at me and let me go. He yelled to me. "I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!" I left.

Ever since I found out about his secret (we had been married just 2.5 months) he has tried to force me out of his life. That is when I started researching and found this wonderful website. After I talked to a lot of you on here and was reassured that he loved me and he was so lucky to have a partner who accepted him and didn't mind that he liked to dress. I was just relieved that he didn't want to 'chop it off'. I loved him and wanted him to be happy. I guess that wasn't enough.

I accepted him, I encouraged him, I bought him things...told him that he didn't need to stash things away from home...

The only time I didn't feel right was when I caught him trying to pierce his belly button...I mean, how can he explain that to our kids at the pool? Instead, I ordered him some non-piercing belly button jewelry.

I walked in on him admiring himself in the mirror in our bedroom recently, He said "I'm sorry" I said, "I don't care"...and I laughed and told him I loved him and left him to do whatever he wanted.

Within an hour of punching me that night, he was calling locksmiths to get the locks changed. He has locked me out of the house. It will be 4 weeks wednesday.

He had me served with divorce papers 9 days later.

I would have never told anyone about our secret, but now I have to because it's the REAL reason we are ending our marriage. The fact that he can't accept himself.

He took all the money out of savings, (20k) canceled my credit cards and I am basically homeless. I am staying in an undisclosed location because I am not sure about his stability.

Now we get to handle this through attorneys.

All I ever did was accept him and love him. He just couldn't accept himself. He made comments in the past, "I should never be married" I always thought it was just from shame. Now I wonder if he really wants to be a woman but won't admit it.

Who knows? It's not my problem anymore. Two attorneys will get all the money.I wonder how long it will take him to find someone who accepts him...and loves him the way I did...demons and all.

Thoughts?