I just don't fit!

[Karren H]

I know how you feel... Being stuck between two genders.. Not quit fully fitting into either.. But I do as well as I can with what I have.. The art of the illusion!! Got to wear what makes you look as fem as you can.. But I'd die to be that short and that thin!! I'm 5' 9" and strugling to stay at 175...

[Sophia de la luz]

With your heighth and weight, I would suggest weight lifting. Not heavy, bulking programs, but light, conditioning programs. I've been very happy with just such a program helping me reshape and tone. Muscle is sexier than fat, both in look and feel.

[jruiz]

Thank you all for your replies.

Somebody recently posted a link of a web page that has a table (grid), with pictures of people (male and female), for different heights and weights.

For example, you can look 5'7 and 150lbs and you will find pictures of people with the same "dimensions".

Does any of you remember this post and the link?

[jruiz]

Sorry for being so lazy, a quick google search and here it is:

http://www.cockeyed.com/photos/bodie...htweight.shtml

According to this, I should look like the people shown in this page: http://www.cockeyed.com/photos/bodies/506-150.shtml

I wish I looked like any of the girls in this page!

However, I look similar to the guy pictured for my height and weight... Maybe with bit bigger arms and head

[Jess_cd32]

For most of my life I was at 155 lbs. and at 6'1", or 5' 13" as Diana would say, I was never really happy with my appearance either.

It could be just you, it could be the wrong type of clothes etc... .
It doesn't sound by your stats that you should be disapointed though.
Don't forget also, when alot of us do pics, we use the editor, I know I do.

Finally I'm happy now with my appearance since hitting into the 170's lb. range. Next time edit and work with your pics.

[kathrynjanos]

Eeep, this chick is my height match, they don't appear to have anyone in my weight range:

http://www.cockeyed.com/photos/bodies/604-160.shtml

She's a knockout as far as I'm concerned. My height and that kind of body build? Ooooh...

I am in LOVE!

[jruiz]

And my point with the link is: it's not about height and weight... It's a matter of shape

[Sigrid Cutie]

Yesterday, I was taking some pictures of myself dresses to post them in the pictures gallery. When I saw the pictures, I was so disappointed by the looks.

Arms too masculine (although I was covering them), my hands, my torso (too broad on the top)... I just decided to erase the pictures and not upload them. I didn't feel happy about that.

At night, I went to the Gym to my spinning class. Of course, there is a mirror. I was in my guy's clothes, and I just looked myself as too thin and quite feminine. Maybe not feminine, but just petite. I didn't feel happy about that.

I'm short (between 5'6 and 5'7), slim (150 lbs, 11% body fat).

I just feel I don't fit in either mode. Maybe it's all in my head. Have you ever had the same feeling? How do you deal with it?

Hi Jruiz,

i know the feeling, i'm also between 5'7 and 5'7 exactly 170Cm in the decimal system,
and i weight a bit more than you 170lbs, and like you some times i look at my self all dressd up and do not think i'm feminine enough," looks wise" but then i change outfits or do some more mkeup, you know change a bit what i'm wearing, and then i take a look or take some pics and there it is, i get the look and feel i want, meaning i look just as any other girl.

try that and let me know if it helps you.

wish you the best.

Sigrid...

[Kate Simmons]

I tend to take the premise behind the Sci-Fi show "Quantum Leap" seriously because I know it's the person inside that counts and not the external appearance.

[MssHyde]

Hi I just wanted to say, to me I always look like a boy in a dress.

when I was child people thought I was a twin girl to my sister,
(when I had My hood up)

one night I spent several hours on my hair set it, (it was down to my shoulders) doing what I could to look like a girl.
later that night, I took a motorcycle out and rode it.
I was going too fast, I hit a deer doing 85 MPH.

I broke my right leg very bad. I used to be proud of my legs.

I spent two years on crutches, a cast for over a year and a half. (made my arms huge)

Now I have to cover my legs.

I still had very nice hair. 9 years ago I was bit by a tick, I contacted Lyme disease. I lost too much of my hair I loved so much.

I didn't want to live with out a nice head of hair.

enjoy what you have when you have it. things don't always get better.

I had a lot going for me. I missed the moment.

Sometimes I felt Like God was trying to stop me from trying to be a girl / woman.

I'm sure this don't help, but count your blessings with what you have. (things could be worse)

[jruiz]

Hi MssHyde,

Thanks for sharing your heart touching story. You're right, we should be thankful for all blessings we have.

[Tasha McIntyre]

Yesterday, I was taking some pictures of myself dresses to post them in the pictures gallery. When I saw the pictures, I was so disappointed by the looks.

Don't be too tough on yourself. When I get the camera out I can take 100 photos, and end up keeping only three or four. They just don't seem to capture what appears in the mirror. Not all of us can gat a trained photographer using suitable lighting and post shoot photo shopping.

I'm short (between 5'6 and 5'7), slim (150 lbs, 11% body fat).

Wow, and the problem is?????

Try covering your percieved deficiencies.

I'm 6 ft 2, 190 lbs and about 12% bodyfat. I use long hair to try to cover the shoulders, and usually wear long sleeves. I photograph from the knees up with the camera at roughly eye level.

Take a series of photographs from different heights and angles / persepective. Work out what look you like and take it from there.

Good luck

Tash

[Ginawithin]

I doubt it's much consolation, but you have lots of company, to include myself. Too masculine for a woman, to femme for a man - can't win.

Don't think you could not pass? There is nothing masculine about you. You our by far in the top ten girls in the whole group. Your look always is a joy to look at. We look down on ourselves as looks but Kim your two thumbs up.You and others give us something to work to. It can be done!!!!


Gina

[Daphne Renee]

Yesterday, I was taking some pictures of myself dresses to post them in the pictures gallery. When I saw the pictures, I was so disappointed by the looks.

Arms too masculine (although I was covering them), my hands, my torso (too broad on the top)... I just decided to erase the pictures and not upload them. I didn't feel happy about that.

At night, I went to the Gym to my spinning class. Of course, there is a mirror. I was in my guy's clothes, and I just looked myself as too thin and quite feminine. Maybe not feminine, but just petite. I didn't feel happy about that.

I'm short (between 5'6 and 5'7), slim (150 lbs, 11% body fat).

I just feel I don't fit in either mode. Maybe it's all in my head. Have you ever had the same feeling? How do you deal with it?

I know how you feel. I have often felt the same way. I am short for a guy about 5'5 , 5'6. I think many of us are or would be happy with just being passable as a woman. When I say passable I dont mean in the super model kind of way either.
Very few if any of us on here would pass a close up inspection. Just try to live your life the best you can. No one is perfect.

[Ronni Seymour]

First thing's first, if you're worried about your arms, you need to draw attention away from them. Sleeves for example, but you can go with some attractive 3/4 sleeves. Also, a good way to deal with arms and broad shoulders is learning to walk like a woman, with your shoulders thrown back. Also, learn how women move their bodies, from the hips vs the shoulders, as I recall.

There are a thousand tips out there, but makeup, walking, and some other subtle mannerisms do more than looks. Practice those, then work on clothing.

I'd like to second that!
For instance, something that helps me is that I try unobtrusively to catch my reflection in the windows of the stores in the mall, when I'm out. This helps me to monitor my walk and movements in order to refine them into a more feminine manner.
Little things can add up to take the focus off of our less feminine attributes, and our deportment is one of them.

[Oddlee]

I'm 6'1" and about 175 lb, which is to say tall and slender. I look like a swimmer - narrow hips and somewhat broad shoulders. It's difficult for me to look like something other than a man in women's clothing. As others have said, clothing that diminishes or accentuates appropriate areas helps. I tend to wear tailored skirts, that give a hint of hips even though I don't have much in that area. The point is that I have known women of similar shape... I was in a master swimming group for a while, which included a woman who was shaped much like me: narrow hips, broad shoulders... except she had real boobs... So, it probably comes down to confidence in the image you are trying to portray.

Lee

[Claire3]

we are who we are and its simpler just to make the most of what weve got and appreciate it

[StephanieC]

I'd like to offer two suggesions:
1. Try not to be so impatient.
This is not an exact science. Have fun trying things and try to find ways to share that look and get feedback. Perhaps it's a matter of self-confidence?
2. Relish the small things.
When you see a particular look you like... When something you did turns out well... No one knows these things overnight...they develop over time

Good luck and have fun discovering.

[sometimes_miss]

"if we put everybodys troubles in a basket and then had to choose, we would pick our own back out".

Uh, no. There are degrees of bad, some problems are worse than others. In my recent discussion with a cousin, telling her about my molestation and all the other horrors throughout my childhood, she couldn't imagine what it could have been like; her big problems were choosing a hairstyle, clothes, which college to go to, and which boy to go out with. Sure, everyone sees their own problems as terrific obstacles and feels tormented making decisions, but there are different levels of misery in life. Still don't believe me? Well, try this then: Having difficulty picking out a nail polish color isn't the same as picking out an artificial limb. Sure, both will have an impact over how people will see us, but on vastly different levels.

[TGMarla]

Pictures lie, my friend. You will never be completely satisfied by any picture you ever take of yourself. Like everyone else here, I see a guy in a dress in every picture I take of myself. No matter what we do, no matter how hard we try, we still see the guy.

I get lots of feedback on my pics. Most of it is a very pleasant gushing over how pretty I look, or how gorgeous my dresses are. I love it. But when I look at those same pics, I see a face that's too fat, no waistline to speak of, broad shoulders, beard shadow, no butt, skinny legs, and hands with big fat sausage fingers that are a dead give away that I'm a guy.

Like Kimberly, I'm way too femme for a man, and way to masculine for a woman. So we do the best we can, and enjoy our feminine time as well as we may. Don't be so hard on yourself. The reason you don't look like a woman when you view yourself, is because you're not a woman. You see the man that you really are peeking through all the time.

Me too.

[amy canada]

I wish I was 5'7 and 150 lbs! I'm 5'9 and around 220 lbs and even if I got down to 180 or 190 lbs, I'd be a lot happier, as I'd probably fit into regular women's sizes (L or XL).

And there are some really beautiful women on that Height/Weight chart who are at bigger weights. It just goes to show you that anyone can look good at any size.

[Ashlyee Paige]

I'm short (between 5'6 and 5'7), slim (150 lbs, 11% body fat).

I just feel I don't fit in either mode. Maybe it's all in my head. Have you ever had the same feeling? How do you deal with it?

I am the exact same size and everything seems to fit clothes wise, you are your own worst critic :> with that size you can go fem or drab with no probs. I am getting down to 135 but am 150 right now and it works good.

[Fabiana.rj]

Well, we are crossdressers, we try to live in both masculine and feminine worlds. Sometimes, I feel like my looks are always a compromise. Even when I'm in a suit, I don't look like all that masculine and when I'm in a dress, I quite sure, I don't look like all that feminine, but that's the path I chose.

What I could do to look my best was losing tons of weight! I was very obese a few years ago, but I knew I had change my life style, not just for my crossdressing,but for my health in general. Nowadays, I try to exercise as much as I can and eat with moderation. Other thing is practice my make up skills every moment I can. You can hide a lot of your masculine features with make up well apllied.

These days I'm trying ways to mask my broad shoulders, but that's something much more difficult to achieve...

[Rachel Morley]

I can't really add much to what others have said other than it is true, that while in some respects with your body shape and size you have a lot going for you, but then again, we, as with GGs and CDers alike, will always want to look prettier than we perceive we are. What Tami said made a lot of sense to me.

Unfortunately what you are experiencing "goes with the territory" when you are a crossdresser. When I take pictures of myself at varies times and I then download them, I'm always quite anxious as I first view them, and I absolutely cringe at most of them I bet I only post less than half of what I take.

Your last comment:

I was in my guy's clothes, and I just looked myself as too thin and quite feminine. Maybe not feminine, but just petite. I didn't feel happy about that.

What's wrong with being a feminine man? Maybe I'm different, but I love that about myself It helps tremendously when I'm in girl mode, both in how I look and how I act. (btw I'm 5ft 4" and 130 lbs)

[AvaDawn]

I feel the same, I'm not big enough to fit in with the guys but not small enough to fit in with the girls =/ your not alone there